Is having an Anxiety disorder a good reason to not consider to myself a coward or *****?
You don't need a reason not to consider yourself a coward or whatever is censored. Simply don't consider yourself that way, why? just because. It's about auto-suggestion -> the hypnotic or subconscious adoption of an idea which one has originated oneself.
Have a good opinion about yourself, you don't have to have a poor opinion about yourself, the way you see yourself influences the way you behave.
You can change the way you see yourself by doing different things in the outside world that will eventually change your mind about who you are when you see evidence for it. As in, you think you are a coward, you eventually do courageous thinks and then you think "maybe I'm not such a big coward as I thought"
. Or you can go the other way around, you can change your mind about who you are and your actions will eventually adapt. If I think "I'm respectful"
I will be more respectful, if I think of myself "I'm courageous"
I will be more courageous.
Whether you realize it or not, you have probably been using auto-suggestion techniques your whole life. If you have ever told yourself to wake up at a certain time, relax, sleep, concentrate, smile, breathe, or whatever, you have used auto-suggestions. In truth, auto-suggestion is the simplest and arguably, the most powerful of mind programming tools. It is one of those simple mind power techniques that is easy, always accessible, can be done anywhere any time (even while driving) and requires no special skill or training. We do it nautrally.
The problem is that most people use auto-suggestion unconsciously, and often in a way that holds them back from accomplishing what they want. For example, talking about being ďsick and tiredĒ of this or that. Then, they wonder why they feel low and lethargic. Or they ***** that their boss is a pain in the rear, and then they begin to have problems with their lower back. They fail to realize that mind power techniques, used unconsciously also have consequences.
I was picked on in middle school and high school pretty bad and really regret not standing up for myself back then. Im 41 years old now. Was not diagnosed with social anxiety disorder until around 25 years old so Im pretty darn sure my disorder is the main reason I could not stand up for myself. My symptoms in school were pretty bad. Trembling and shaking in class if I had to give a class presenatation. Or I would simply try to skip class to avoid doing it. Had few friends if any.
It's okay, I stood up for myself which eventually led me to being beaten, it was good and I don't regret it, the fact that I stood up for myself, but I got beaten, that one I regret it. Unless you are stronger or want to become stronger to beat your bullies, eventually I learned that the best way to deal with bullies is to join their side. Not to become a bully like them, but to become someone they view more favorably. How do you turn them on your side? or you to their side? (same thing)
you stop being offended by their insults, you stop fighting back. They love it when you get mad, when you get angry, when you try to make them stop, that's what's fueling them, that's why they keep coming back for more. There's a website called BulliesToBuddies that explains it all.
Didn't help my mindset any that my dad would call me a ***** and coward for not standing up for myself. Wasant an overall bad farther but on this particular issue he had no sympathy or understanding at all. Guess environment he was raised in you were expected to fight or it was the worst thing ever. Not that I think about it Anxiety disorders have a big genetic component so a lot of it can be blamed on the bad genetic hand he dealt me.
I think your father thought that he would motivate you this way. That by calling you names and calling you a cowards you will eventually get so fed up and angry that you will go there and start fighting with the bullies and beating the bullies. But I think it had the opposite effect, it began to demoralize you more and more. My father did the same thing for a time, he eventually learned the wrongs of his ways.
Diabetis also has a big genetic component, but there are a lot of people with that diabetis gene in them that never make diabetis in their life. Blaming on genetics doesn't help: in the first case because it's not completly right, and in the second case because it's not helpful. Genetics plays a factor, but that's where it stops, a factor, what YOU do has more of an influence than what your genetics and what your enviroment does. So if you want to get rid of social anxiety you will want to make better decisions, how you make better decisions? better actions? how you make better actions? you learn how to get rid of social anxiety (from the internet or books)
and then start to apply it.
Anyway so I have accepted that with my disorder was the main reason I did not deal with these bullying issues better. Say 75 percent of it. But I still feel that last 25 percent is on me and my fault and that I am a coward. Having a pretty severe social anxiety disorder does not completely let me off the hook. Im sure there are some people who had as had or worse anxiety disorders were able to handle it better. Guess I look back on it now and im still dealing with a lot of guilt and self blame. Any thoughts and can anyone relate. Thank you
It doesn't matter why you did not deal with those bullies better anymore, it's in the past. You can either learn from it or run from it, but don't ponder over it because it's already happened, it's gone, there's nothing you can do about it anymore. Look over something that you can do something about now, look over the present. What can you do in the present should bother you more than what you could have done in the past, because the present is where you are now. If you want a bright future you'll have to make actions in the present that give you a bright future.
The irony is that you are not a coward becaue you are naturally a coward. You're a coward because you're constantly telling yourself you're a coward, if you want to be something else start calling yourself a different name. Start calling yourself courageous. Think of yourself that you were courageous. Think of the times, even small and minor ones, when you were courageous. And take them as evidenence that, yes, indeed, you can be courageous.
"Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline."
- Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus
"Courage can be in the small choices that we make each day, in doing something despite being afraid of it. Itís facing a fear, or jumping into something, even if we are unsure of the outcome."
No Body is born coward.
One might lack the nerve to fight for himself initially but anyone can become brave.
Let me tell you how to be brave with a story..
I had a friend who was a very silent, introvert kind of guy. He used to talk little and other students developed habit of constantly bullying him. Most of the time, he tries to avoid picking fight by ignoring them. Because of this, people might have considered him a coward.
But one day he decided to be brave, that day as any other day; one guy approached him for the purpose of bullying him. He got super angry and eventually the bully was beaten. After that day, I have never seen him getting bullied.
The moral is..
It takes only one moment to become brave because being brave doesnít mean people perceiving you strong. But Brave is one who feels strong inside, one who can stand up for himself and feels strong and confident inside.
Tell your kid..
To pick up the fight and answer the bullies.
He can definitely worry about the consequences but tell him its okay.
He needs just one moment of courage.
After fight he might become physically weak but once he stood up for himself, just once he show courage and fight he will definitely be a brave kid afterwards.
Otherwise, bullies will never leave him throughout his life.
NO ONE IS BORN COWARD.
Anythingís possible if you got enough nerve. - J.K.Rowling
One who can tolerate the bullies is already stronger than others.
GO FOR IT.
- Dr. Nikki Martinez.
"How can a man be brave if he is afraid? that is the only time a man can be brave."
- George R.R. Martin
It's a good thing to learn to have courage because that's your getaway gate to social anxiety, to do the thing you're afraid to do in spite of the fear.
There is only one cure for social phobia, well there are many therapies but they all come down to one thing, and there are many fears in general but they all come down to one thing -> Do the thing you're afraid to do in spite of the fear.
That's how you get rid of the fear, do the think you're afraid to do in spite of the fear. The fear is "blocking" you, but only if you let it to "block" you, there's no acutal physical barrier between you and other people, there's no physical barrier between you and talking to other people, the only barrier is the mental one, as long as that barrier is removed on the physical realm, the mental barrier will shatter, do that constantly, often enough, and you will get rid of social anxiety.