Is anybody here successful? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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Is anybody here successful?


In terms of finance, relationships, life in general, is anybody here happy how their life turned out?

I'm not who I have in memory
Nor who is in me now.
If I think, I self-dismember.
If I believe, there is no end.
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 07:38 PM
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Not yet, but I'm working on it and I'm determined to make it

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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 07:46 PM
 
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I am happy with my spouse. I am still working on everything else.
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 07:57 PM
 
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I am pleased with my job. I worked hard to make myself qualified for a job where I barely deal with anyone and yet make a nice tidy sum of cash. It could be worse, I could be on the streets.
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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I'm satisfied with the way things are at the moment....still have a few things missing and need to work on, but overall I think I'm doing okay.

It could be a lot worse.
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 08:37 PM
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Unfortunately, no

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and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 09:05 PM
 
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finance - no - but not too bad, I'm going to Italy on vacatoin, have parents who pay for whole trip, so, passable for now.
relationships/sex - no.
friendships - 50/50 - would say that's going alright for now, have a few female friends.

I've joined the 'sosuave' board, and they actually have concepts that I find are helpful to the male social anxiety sufferer.

Concepts like going to a mall by yourself and just like going to different stores and like, NOT buy anything, and like walk around the mall aimlessly - you can see my thread there on the JEDI bootcamp.

That board has given me some hope to deal with my SA issues.
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 09:41 PM
 
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In terms of finance, I am satisfied with how things turned out; however, I am always paranoid that I will lose my job (my company hasn't been doing well) and be unable to get another that pays as well.

As for relationships, I am more than pleased with the the situation with my parents; however, as for having friends not related to me - that is something I REALLY need to work on. Also, I would love to find a significant other, but I must say, I want to have a best friend before I have a boyfriend. I think that it would be too much burden for a guy to also have to be my confidante on all things that upset me.
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:00 PM
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i say no...but that does not have to be a bad thing. i'm not even middle aged yet(my life is far from being 'turned out'). if i found myself to be completely comfortable at this point...what would be left? of course there are things i am upset about, but i think that is the whole point to life. if we are not here to build and improve our lives, to learn, to experience, and to see, etc...then what's the point? with all that said, what i am most annoyed with is my own inability to allow myself these things. that's what i am working on, though. to get past my anxieties, and allow myself to find new paths. what i have found is, with each day, and each new experience, it gets harder and more complicated. that is my motivation, though. i will not get beaten down. i don't think anyone has it easy in life. we all have our hurdles, it is how we accept and deal(or not deal) with them. ahhh, maybe it's just me.
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:05 PM
 
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I guess I meet the definition of "successful" as far as my finances go. I have a good job where I get promotions, I support myself, and am building up a savings. Plus my debt is finally shrinking. So I'm pretty happy with the way things are going in this area. On the flip side, it could be because I've focused too much on my career, as I've found it to be the one area where I can excel in spite of SA (even though the SA is there, every day).

I'm completely unsuccessful in relationships. I can deal with people professionally, but I'm too afraid to get to know them on a personal level. I'm unsatisfied about my life in general. There's so many things I would like to do, if I could get over my fear.
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietTexan
I'm completely unsuccessful in relationships. I can deal with people professionally, but I'm too afraid to get to know them on a personal level.



For some reaon, I have no problems talking about work related issues with my coworkers (sometimes I initiate the conversations); however, when it comes time to talk about personal stuff, I have trouble opening up to people, and they take it as a sign that I'm not interested in them. Also, I find myself shrinking away from people if they try to get to know me more personally. It seems like a vicious cycle where I'm afraid to reveal to people that I have no social life; but if I don't try to get close to people, they won't want to spend time with me, and thus I have no social life ...etc.
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clenched_fist
I'm satisfied with the way things are at the moment....still have a few things missing and need to work on, but overall I think I'm doing okay.

It could be a lot worse.
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinion
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pistachio
I am pleased with my job. I worked hard to make myself qualified for a job where I barely deal with anyone and yet make a nice tidy sum of cash. It could be worse, I could be on the streets.
Sounds like the job for me, what is it?


To answer the original post, no to all the questions.
I program phone switches for companies that purchase PBXs. I work from home so I don't have to go out to customer sites and my project managers tend to be happy to gather the information I need from the customer. I still sometimes have to deal with customers but I always have a PM on the line with me to run interference in case it gets too much. My therapist even tried to suggest that I quit this job and find something that gets me out of the house, but that is a big no no. I know it only helps my AvPD by keeping me away from other people but it truly isthe only thing I'm qualified at doing.I can make phone switches sing and dance.
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-11-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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I'm borderline right now. If I continue my success in school, work, conquering SA, etc, one day I will be very successfull in all aspects of life. Although its not guaranteed because im not on very stable ground. If I make a few wrong turns or mistakes I may wind up in a hole I wont be able to get myself out of.
I should know wether or not I'll be content with my life by the time Im about 24. I'm just gonna tread water 'till then.
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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 06:40 AM
 
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Not really. But nothing worries me more than money. I know this sounds crazy because I'm only 20 and live with my parents and will continue to do so till I'm married(because I'm Asain) so I have no obvious financial needs I need to take care off currently or in the near future so I don't why I'm having such thoughts
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post #16 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 07:21 AM
 
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Not at all, SA has basically crippled me. I'm 30, still live at home, no job, I don't drive, still a virgin and never so much as had a girl come on to me offline.

But now I'm on meds and will be seeing a psychologist I'm hoping to change all that.
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post #17 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 07:46 AM
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I'm successful at work, but in every other aspect of my life, I'm a total failure.
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post #18 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 08:03 AM
 
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I suppose I could be considered successful financially. I don't have any debts, own my car, and can put some money aside every month. I've also done ok as far as education goes since I have a master's degree. I could probably get a better job for much better pay with that degree, but I'm not looking for such a major change in that area yet.

I have a lot of "friends", but no one I can really call and just hang out with, so I could be doing better in that area. However, it's getting harder and harder to make those kinds of friends since most of the people I know have a significant other so that means I'm very limited in terms of meeting people.

As far as relationships go, that's my weak point. I'm as unsuccessful as you can be in that area. As far as I'm concerned, that is the worse part, and has always been the worse part of my life, and it's the major cause of my feeling like **** most of the time.
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post #19 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 08:17 AM
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Positive Things:
1. I got my BA degree.

2. I am working job that I got my degree in, and I am making decent money for a single person.

3. Own my own home.

4. Bought a new vehicle 5 years ago.

5. No major health problems.

Negative Things:

1. No good relationships with other people. No real life friends, and no one to share my life with. It get's pretty lonely. Spending my free time just hearing my own thoughts.

troll: man, we got a lot of snow
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troll: three feet, man!
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post #20 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-12-2006, 01:46 PM
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I'm 27, do not have the type of job I wish I could have (working in Social Work or Healthcare), I want to go back to school, I depend on my parents for most things (they pay insurance on the vehicle I drive, they pay for most repairs (I recently gave them $400 for this). I buy most of my own groceries and hygiene products (toothpaste, deodorant, shavers, Aveeno, toothbrush, pads, shampoo)

I want to be able to afford to go on trips and stuff. I guess this is my ultimate goal. There is so much out there to see that I haven't seen.

At 30, I wanted to have my own house and be married, but now this is my goal to have these things by 38.

Work: disastisfied - wish I made more and was paying into CPP
Friends: NONE (Extremely disatisfied with this)
Hobbies: boring to do things without a sidekick, but I do go for walks by myself, but wish I had someone to golf with or go to the beach with or just go for a bike ride with

You had me at hello.
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