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-   -   invited to interview: must fly alone and get taxi alone and do panel interview? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/invited-to-interview-must-fly-alone-and-get-taxi-alone-51974/)

brokenpieces 10-23-2008 11:01 AM

invited to interview: must fly alone and get taxi alone and do panel interview?
 
this is my worst nightmare. I'd love to have the job but all I can think about is flying alone and getting lost and having to talk to people....and people thinking I'm stupid. Then getting a taxi which I've never done and it taking me to the wrong place or I say something wrong. Getting to the panel interview and being a wreck because now I have to watch all these people judge everything I say and I usually cry in interviews because it is so stressful...and for this one I have to deal with that plus I'm probably still going to be worrying about making sure I get home correctly.

I'm a girl, I've never traveled alone, never got a taxi ever, never been to the city, don't know where I'm going, don't know anyone there, never done a panel interview....and so I just can't call the company back. I feel like a loser.

I'm so mad at myself and this disease for doing this to me. But I don't know how to not freak out about everything. I can't call back and say "well I havn't returned any of your calls because I'm scared to talk on the phone and because of all the reasons I just listed"...ugh

Why can't I be normal? A free trip to interview for the job of your dreams should be something to be excited about.

matt404 10-23-2008 12:11 PM

I had an almost identical situation. The first real job interview I ever had was a panel interview that I was flown to a foreign (non-English speaking) country for. I had a lot of the same fears as you, not to mention the fact that I felt extremely under-qualified for the position. I pretty much broke down right before the interview with thoughts of "I'll never get this job in a million years! Why am I even putting myself through this? There's no point! I should never have agreed to do this. I should just forget about all this and go home."

I ended up somehow pulling myself together and even got the job. A few years later, after serving on the other side of a few interview panels, I've realized that there isn't so much to be worried about. I know it's difficult, but it helps to realize that the people interviewing you are just people. They aren't better than you. Some of them might even be as nervous to be on the interview panel as you are to be the interviewee (like I usually am). They aren't judging *you* as a person, they're trying to decide if you'd fit with the open position they're trying to fill. It's just a job, and there are lots of those out there for you. They've obviously seen something they like if they've invited you to come interview in person.

I wish I could be normal, too. There are lots of situations that cause me so much anxiety that normal people seem to get through with ease, even look forward to. I'm not sure I'll ever be truly normal, though. The best I can do is try to work through it.

I hope your interview goes well!

kaye 10-23-2008 03:49 PM

Hi,
You don't fool around, do you? Jeez, there is *no one* not anxious, never mind SA, going to a panel interview for a job. Wow. You should give yourself lots of special rewards for whatever steps you take in this process.

Do you not have anyone who could travel with you, to give moral support? Or, you could set up people you could call to check in periodically on the phone, to tell them how you're doing.

I was going to take a workshop a couple months ago out of state, and I knew: strange city, strange people, staying overnight in a strange place. So I decided I would travel by plane one day early, and allow myself time to rest in my hotel room, and then I'd have plenty of time the next day to show up for the start of the workshop.

I didn't actually go, but, this might be an idea for you, if you can fly one day early, then you can have time to rest so you won't be rushing right into this big interview, which is not a good idea.

Well I wish you good luck! Take care of yourself and remember whatever step you take, that's effort you made. So you can feel good about that.


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