Introversion is NOT SA or shyness. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
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Introversion is NOT SA or shyness.


So I posted this elsewhere, but somebody suggested I post this here. Some of you will know where I mean.

People keep misusing the word Introvert, confusing it with shyness. Introversion is not SA or Shyness. It's not even a disorder. It's the way your brain works. Introvert's "recharge mentlaly" by being alone. On the other hand, Extroverts "recharge" by being around other people.

As with most things, Extroversion/Introversion is on a sliding scale. You can be extremly Introverted or Extroverted, or just a little Introverted/Extroverted. Most people are extroverts. I'm not. I'm an Introvert. That doesn't make me antisocial. I like socializing, I just can't do it in long goes, and I need some time out to mentally "recharge".

So heres the myths about Introverts:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

So you can be a confident Introvert or a socially-anxious extrovert. You don't automatically become an introvert for having social anxiety.

Introversion/Extroversion has nothing to do with SA whatsoever. It's just the way you are, and you can't change it.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:44 PM
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Thank you.
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:51 PM
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Oh my god, yes. YES!




Quote:
Originally Posted by Otherside View Post
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
This is so true, haha.

that's what she said
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:55 PM
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Insightful post. Thanks.

Do introverts find it mentally exhausting to interact with people online for long periods such as on forums or does it only apply to in-person interactions with people?
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:56 PM
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This was a fun read. You should post some facts about extroverts as well.

Chris was here.
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:57 PM
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This was a fun read. You should post some facts about extroverts as well.
1. Extroverts like the sound of their own voice.
2. They have to have an opinion on everything.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 04:57 PM
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The problem for introverts with SA (or at least for me) is figuring out what's part of the disorder, and what's just their normal personality.

**** you and your mandatory custom signature.
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by moonlite View Post
Insightful post. Thanks.

Do introverts find it mentally exhausting to interact with people online for long periods such as on forums or does it only apply to in-person interactions with people?
I've never felt tired being on here and talking with people, but then I don't spend long on here without breaks in between-ten/twenty minute at a time maybe-so I guess I wouldn't get exhausted by that. Although there are some introvert days when I don't want anything to do with people at all at that moment...on the Internet or in real life, so maybe so.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 07:07 PM
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Great post. Especially these parts!:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Otherside View Post
Myth #1 Ė Introverts donít like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just donít talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they wonít shut up for days.

Myth #6 Ė Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they donít have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #8 Ė Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. Itís not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, itís just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
I'm so tired of being accused of being an asocial snob! Even here on SAS.

However, I take some issue with these points...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Otherside View Post
Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They donít interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Donít worry about being polite.

...

Introverts often donít see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
I agree that I dislike talking for the sake of talking and need something concrete to talk about...I dislike "social pleasantries." And I do want people to be "real and honest." However, I also highly value tact, politeness, and courtesy, so if somebody were to just be blunt and not care about politeness, that would really rub me the wrong way, and the reason I dislike smalltalk isn't because I want people to just be blunt with me, I just don't see the point in it. It strikes me as a waste of time, as well as dull.

Just contributing that. There are obviously all sorts of introversion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlite View Post
Do introverts find it mentally exhausting to interact with people online for long periods such as on forums or does it only apply to in-person interactions with people?
I get equally exhausted interacting online as I do IRL...I can barely even handle e-mails anymore, even from my friend. Cannot even dare bother with things like chat or IM. BUT, this is more likely due to my social anxiety than to my introversion, since I wasn't like that when I first came online over a decade ago; it was only after a lot of negative experiences that I grew avoidant online as well as off. I was very chatty and outgoing online, once upon a time. :/

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tehuti88 View Post
I agree that I dislike talking for the sake of talking and need something concrete to talk about...I dislike "social pleasantries." And I do want people to be "real and honest." However, I also highly value tact, politeness, and courtesy, so if somebody were to just be blunt and not care about politeness, that would really rub me the wrong way, and the reason I dislike smalltalk isn't because I want people to just be blunt with me, I just don't see the point in it. It strikes me as a waste of time, as well as dull.
Strongly agree with this. In most situations I think "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is a pretty good rule. Bluntness and combativeness, however "real" or honest it may be, can be just as exhausting to me as bland, insincere small talk. I don't give anyone extra points for being "real" if being "real" involves being unnecessarily critical or combative or snippy.
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 09:11 PM
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Watched a documentary on Andy Warhol, I'm pretty sure he'd be a poster boy for being an Introvert.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 09:22 PM
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why is it that people talk about introvert a lot? I've never seen someone label themselves as extroverts, it's usually introverts who do it and I've never seen people write an article about extroverts. Is it because introverts are often misunderstood or perceived weird?

Btw, good post, my mentor called herself an introvert and she had a pretty good social life, judging from where she worked. She said she was an introvert because she actually preferred to be at home, enjoying her past time and because she claimed she could be tired from socializing.

If you can't socialize because you're afraid of being judged, probably it's SA.

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The problem for introverts with SA (or at least for me) is figuring out what's part of the disorder, and what's just their normal personality.
there's this thing called avoidant personality disorder. I hear most people with SA also have it.
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 09:31 PM
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Introvert's "recharge mentlaly" by being alone. On the other hand, Extroverts "recharge" by being around other people
This is always told but I think it's crap really. No offense or anything. I just know people who are clearly in the middle of this and can't be classified. I'm an introvert but some of those things on the list do not apply to me.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 11:01 PM
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I agree. I wish society would place more value on the qualities introverts have.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 11:21 PM
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I think society is beginning to value introverted behavior more. I also think the reason introverts identify themselves with their type more is because extroversion is preferable, at least in the USA. However, I've seen quite a few extroverts who are interested in personality theory refer to themselves as extroverts. It's a matter of identity.

I think people are either extroverted or introverted. Individuals have one preference other the other, even if it's just by a fragment, from what I've learned studying personality theory. Introversion is more about how we take in energy inwardly or outwardly and very little with how we socialize.

I like to socialize a lot with people I am close to, but I can't do it in groups. I'll burn out quickly. Some days I like to be around others and some I need to be alone so I can mull over my thoughts. External stimulation affects me quite a bit. I can't even be out of the house for very long. I'm just very sensitive to these things.
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-23-2013, 11:58 PM
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I've noticed that if I interact on this forum long enough. I get mentally exhausted. So that is probably because I am an introvert. I also noticed that if I am in a quiet space for a long time that I feel healthier and more focused. So that is what they mean by having alone time to recharge.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-24-2013, 12:03 AM
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-24-2013, 12:05 AM
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I think I have seen this somewhere before. When I first discovered the word "introvert'.
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-24-2013, 08:38 AM
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What kind of exhaustion do you guys mean after socializing? Is it physically tired, your eyes get sleepy or is your brain just exhausted?
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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-24-2013, 08:49 AM Thread Starter
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What kind of exhaustion do you guys mean after socializing? Is it physically tired, your eyes get sleepy or is your brain just exhausted?
It's like my brain just gets exhausted and can't focus anymore. I kinda get a bit cranky with people and just have this desperate urge to be alone.
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