Im so tired - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-13-2013, 12:44 AM Thread Starter
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Im so tired


On cipralex 20mg, and bupropion 150mg x2/day
suicidal
agoraphobia
social anxiety
depression
scars all over my body from rapid weight changes
20, technically in university. no gf never even got close
never had sex never kissed
i go sometimes a week without saying a single word
its been 4 days since ive been outside during the day
extremely rare to even go outside
exams are here, didnt go to classes, barely started the course material
i am disgusted by all humans
i hate myself

i go through this cycle and im so tired of it:
-think about killing myself, come up with the method
-realize i will end my existence, which isn't really a solution
-cant see myself ever being normal
-become exhausted by all of it
repeat

getting close to the point that the exhaustion becomes a serious problem and suicide becomes the solution.

In the likely event i finally do kill myself, i dont want my father to suffer from it. even though i barely know him, and he has anger problems, i see that he cares about me, even though he makes fun of me. maybe he's just acting like he cares for my step-mother. Even though, I want some sort of assurance that nothing too devastating happens from any of my actions.
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-26-2013, 11:19 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Illinois
Gender: Female
Posts: 75
I know how that goes. I'm always tired,and unable to function because of severe ocd,depression and of course social anxiety. This makes it hard for me to go out in public as well as the fact I always feel people are looking at my arma where I have self harmed. I just feel no reason to keep living
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