ignore everyone and everything feel good, talk to people again, feel bad - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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ignore everyone and everything feel good, talk to people again, feel bad

Lately, I've been off to my own, just going to work, not really talking to anyone, both online and off. Noticed I'm in a better mood, not comparing myself, not wondering what others are doing.

It's odd, part of me wants to be around people and have friends and a girlfriend, but then something like this happens, and it feels wrong, like I'm not supposed to feel like this, as if I'm missing out.

This comes after a fight with one of my friends, who felt I was telling them too much and repeating the same "fears" and "topics" over and over (they have SA as well), dunno it's nice not worrying about this stuff.

Ignorant bliss indeed.

Anyone else get this?
How do you "cope"?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 04:09 PM
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It depends who I interact with. I can't go home anymore because my family and friends drain my self confidence. I've changed drastically since high school but they keep treating me the same way. I take a long time to break out of my shell and seeing those people again sets me back.

Meeting new people helps a lot, but going out specifically seeking companionship is a lot of pressure on yourself if you're not normally a very outgoing person. Easy way to meet people is get a new job. Part time even, hell go flip burgers at MacDonald's. No one enjoys working there, keeping that in mind helps when trying to relate to people.

Just go with the flooooww maaaaan, that's how I cope.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 04:25 PM
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Being alone certainly helps. Much less stressful. But sooner or later I miss "the female".
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-17-2010, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
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no one else has this?

thats a surprise...
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-17-2010, 02:27 PM
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Being around other people just causes me grief and i'm alot happier by myself, I don't have any desire to have a group of freinds or anything, i'm content being in solitude.

Interacting with other people just sends me into depression mode and makes life miserable at home too

"Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one"
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-17-2010, 03:05 PM
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Yep that seems to be how it is. you just keep occupied and concerntrating on things while doing task on your own, without being anxious, then you get in a better mood, then as soon as social contact-boom your back to over-thinking stuff, feeling awful n the rest.
You have friends that have SA? Wow...
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-17-2010, 11:18 PM
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I never like to be alone, but I love to run away from situations in which I'll feel alone amoungst people (and thus really be alone). It's in our nature to want to be apart of each other and amoungst each other... but since we have social anxiety, the prospect of being humilated and rejected is too hard for us to bare (feeling isolated amoung people is mixed with those emotions).
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-18-2010, 08:20 AM
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On the whole people tend to drag me down.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-18-2010, 11:25 AM
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I get this too. After a period of interacting with people more than usual and actually getting somewhere socially there comes a period when things become a bit quiet and I get depressed and obsessively compare myself to others and how weird and not "ok" I am for not having a regular social life and not being able to just take action like other people do. Then there is a period of what I call "nothingness" when no one talks to me and I sort of clam up and keep to myself and after a while I become really at peace with myself because I find myself forgetting about others and thus no longer comparing myself and beating myself up for not being more like other people are.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-18-2010, 12:59 PM
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I function best when I'm alone, but I want to be with people. I'd rather be comfortable and fearless in social situations than be good and fast at doing things like housework, my job (which is quite singular) or any personal preparation.

My most relaxed is when I have a break both from college and work and the family are on holiday leaving me in the house alone, thats when I'm 100% relaxed but you don't get nowhere in life like that, success comes through being in the middle of life.

The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one-Elbert Hubbard
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-05-2010, 07:31 PM
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Even when I contribute to conversations and things go well, I feel that I don't have it in me to continue playing this game for the rest of my life, because I go back to square one, feeling drained and socially anxious and having nothing to say again.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-05-2010, 10:32 PM
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Talking to people is much worse for me than being alone because when i tallk to someone i can see the hatred they have for me in there eyes and body language and hear the animosity towards me in there voice

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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-06-2010, 05:00 AM
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I don't know if I feel good about ignoring/avoiding people but I do know that trying & feeling like a failure does make my depression worse so I spend a lot of time in "out of sight, out of mind" mode. In the periods where I don't speak to members of my family for a week or 2 I'm sort of surfing on a wave of distractions, films, soccer, etc. Sometimes it really feels to too much to be involved with all that's going on. I know it's not good but it's a hard cycle to get out of
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 07-07-2010, 09:32 PM
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New to the site. Almost all of the posts on this website sound like they could be written by me! It's like they were stolen from my mind!

It is sad that we have to feel this way when around other people. I feel the same way though. A solid couple days of isolation and I start to feel confident and miss the interaction between people (or at least I think I do), but immediately once getting out there it feels like I lose everything I've gained.

Two Side Questions: Do people find it is the worst with their families? They knock the confidence down the most even though they don't really seem to be doing anything negative.

Do any of you smoke pot? And when you do does it usually make you 1000X more anxious?

Anyways, nice meeting you folks. Too bad we couldn't actually meet in real life due to our inability to converse with people in most situations
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