If Social Anxiety Were Not A Factor In Your Life, What Would You Do Differently? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 03:28 AM Thread Starter
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If Social Anxiety Were Not A Factor In Your Life, What Would You Do Differently?


As the title of the thread suggests: taking social anxiety out of your current set of circumstances, what sort of things would you do that you perhaps don't feel you could do at the moment due to your anxiety?
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 03:36 AM
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It's hard to know what I would do cause idk who I am without the anxiety. Maybe basic things like go out with coworkers. Talk on the phone. Go more frequently to the store. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe I would of made more friends in college without it.

It's be nice not to get all worked up before doing things.
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 03:49 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
It's hard to know what I would do cause idk who I am without the anxiety. Maybe basic things like go out with coworkers. Talk on the phone. Go more frequently to the store. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe I would of made more friends in college without it.

It's be nice not to get all worked up before doing things.
I'd like to commit to more political activism. I'd also like to get involved in the arts scene where I live. There's a lot of good stuff going on that I feel shut out of because of my anxiety. It's very frustrating.

I met my girlfriend at University. But I didn't make too many friends. Was always too awkward.
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 03:53 AM
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I'd like to commit to more political activism. I'd also like to get involved in the arts scene where I live. There's a lot of good stuff going on that I feel shut out of because of my anxiety. It's very frustrating.

I met my girlfriend at University. But I didn't make too many friends. Was always too awkward.
Yeah maybe I'd be more active in group settings and be more willing to join organizations or clubs.

But idk maybe I'd still be an awkward person without the anxiety. It just wouldn't bother me haha
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 04:13 AM
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It's difficult for me to answer that because it's not just social anxiety stopping me. That is a big factor in doing things alone that don't involve people much or much communication (because even that is anxiety inducing for me,) so I might for example go to the cinema more. But another thing is money in some cases, apathy, and potential conflict over my gender identity (very contentious topic especially in the UK, I don't always have the energy for it) and wanting to avoid frustrating people like I do online. I could possibly maintain superficial relationships with people but I think I prefer being a ghost, and that's almost impossible to maintain in real life even at events linked to hobbies/interests, so I'm not sure.

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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 06:30 AM
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I would probably still prefer to stay isolated, but if I could live without shyness, I would be able to live without the shame I experience everyday.
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 08:44 AM
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Oh man oh jeez I don't know what it's like.

This is normal for me. Everyone else got somethin' wrong with 'em.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-14-2020, 08:17 PM
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Actually talk to females, proactively try to get a girlfriend and eventually get married. I'd attend local video game tournaments and be more proactive at trying to find things that I could enjoy life because I wouldn't have to worry about the dread I experience socializing. I think I'd also generally have healthier relationships with my close friends. I even feel tense/anxious around them. Always feel like I'll never be good enough for them because I'm too quiet and difficult to converse with. I would hope that if my anxiety would disappear I would find conversation more natural, but sometimes I can't tell if that's more than just an anxiety issue for me. Like someone else said too though, I don't really know what I'd be like without social anxiety. It feels like a part my personality almost, though I would much rather it not be.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-15-2020, 05:44 AM
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Maybe go for betterjobs? idk. i cant imagine what it would be like as my whole life woulda turned out differently.


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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-15-2020, 05:56 AM
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^ Yeah, I'd maybe try for more leadership positions.
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-15-2020, 07:02 AM
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I probably would have been a normie, travel, career, marriage, 2.5 kids, debt, bla bla bla...no big loss to society or the planet I guess in the philosophical sense anyway.

Normies are a dime a dozen & what with the destruction & evil we cause as a whole, but from an individual point of view not good or healthy.






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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-16-2020, 01:04 AM
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My whole life would have been different - mostly career-wise though. I would have been able to do something much better.
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-16-2020, 01:28 AM
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I would have friends to hang out with. I'd be more of a leader at work, more outspoken.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-16-2020, 04:07 PM
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I'd live life on my own terms and make an impact in the world.
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-16-2020, 11:16 PM
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Um, well, it's not really SA. Not sure I even have that. Problem is more that I'm the kind of person everybody hates, so I'm always worried about discrimination and violence. So, if people stopped irrationally hating me, my life would be completely different. Kind of hard to imagine what it would be like, though. I mean, if I hadn't been this kind of person, I wouldn't have spent so much time studying psychology trying to find a way out of this Maze That Has No Exit. So if that fear disappeared, and I didn't need to Find a Solution, I might just lose all my interest in psychology. Which means I'm not sure I can say, "If my fear wasn't holding me back, I'd become a therapist." That might only appeal to me as a career because I am what I am. But at any rate, I could at least go out and get a job and pay my bills so that I don't become homeless. Probably too late for me to do anything meaningful with my life at this point, anyway.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-17-2020, 10:36 PM
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-17-2020, 10:59 PM
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I would not exist.

/WYSD
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 10:35 AM
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I would not exist.
What does that mean?

*

Me I guess I would've lived the "conventional life". Overachieve academically/career-wise, start a family, all that good stuff. I might go into full workaholic mode. But deep down I'd still feel inadequate and empty, no matter how outwardly "successful" I am. Then at some point I might have a complete breakdown that would force me into therapy, which - depending on how it goes - might lead me to uncover all the childhood neglect and **** that I am uncovering now. I might also realise what a horrible human being I have been, which is something I probably would've been in denial about if social anxiety weren't there to prevent me from inflicting my damage unto the world.

So, probably still just as sad and empty, but with more money and friends and resources for help. I realise that's not the question you asked, but I really can't begin to tease apart which of my dysfunctions are caused by what, at this point. For example, the fact that I can't find the passion and dedication to even have a real proper hobby has nothing to do with social anxiety I think. I avoid strong emotions. Even when I'm watching a TV series I habitually "lose interest" halfway through and don't finish it, because I can't allow myself to see it through to its conclusion and feel that satisfaction.

*
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realisation: the act or process of becoming real. —Webster
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 12:24 PM
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What does that mean?
Just that (to me) SA is the fundamental way my brain functions and always has been. The only way it wouldn't be would be if I didn't exist at all.

/WYSD
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 01:53 PM
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Just that (to me) SA is the fundamental way my brain functions and always has been. The only way it wouldn't be would be if I didn't exist at all.
It makes me sad that you see social anxiety as such an inseparable part of your being. But I understand, since I have also felt this way at various points in my life.

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