I want to talk more with my therapist - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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I want to talk more with my therapist


I am seeing my therapist every week, but we usually talk with each other for about 15min.
Because I have social anxiety and am not good at talking with people even with my therapist, I finish talking to him quickly and I do not know what I should say. So, he finishes my therapy early.
I actually want to talk more with him. I do not have friends and cannot chat with anyone, but I feel like talking with someone.
What should I do?
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 03:36 PM
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One thing I did when doing group therapy was write down any thought or event I found relevant in any way during the week. Sometimes it was silly stuff but hey, silly stuff is better than nothing. Try it out.

Flowers will grow from these wounds.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-25-2020, 04:37 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, zkv.
I will try to write down my thought next time.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-25-2020, 05:31 PM
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I had the same problem when I went to therapy. I stopped going because I couldn't overcome my anxiety.
Is it possible for you to write something down before the appointment and give it to your therapist to read? Maybe that will help. It's easier for me to write than talk because talking about it makes it more real. However, I wish and I rather just talk about it because it is real and actually talking about it would help in confronting it.

I've been doing something different right now. I've started writing in my journal and eventually I started video recording myself. The video recording was initially hard for me because like I said before for me when I talk about it, it makes it more real. Eventually I got used to it. I am still finding that I am having trouble talking about because when I talk to my video-camera on my laptop, I don't look at myself. I don't make eye contact with myself. I feel as though that is important when confronting my issues. To me it shows that I am still afraid and uncertain. I hope that eventually I start sharing with an actual person.

In America, we have privileged whites, sexism, racism, and racial/gender oppression. Unfortunately, some people feel they discount the feelings or experiences of other people because in their minds they don't think these feelings and experiences exist. Feelings are not meant to be understood and our experiences are as real as our bodies. Don't let people tell you how to feel or discount your experiences for they are refusing to acknowledge your existence.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-28-2020, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, Kandice.
I feel relieved that it is not only my problem. I will try to write something down and give it to my therapist, though it is also nervous.
It is good for you that you are doing video recording yourself. I think it is helpful. I still don't have enough courage to do it. Hopefully, I will try it in my future.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 06:10 AM
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I was in the exact same situation as you, I would plan what I wanted to talk about that day and when the topics were finished it was silence and awkwardness. But it slowly changed, nowadays I don't plan what I'm going to say and I'm lucky to have a therapist that understands social anxiety and that silence is okay. Talk about anything that comes to mind (I used to think I have I have nothing in my mind), talk about anything even if it seems irrelevant, that helped me quite a bit. Maybe you could also try to tell your therapist about this issue that you don't really know what to say, suggest to him to ask you more questions. If you need to talk PM me.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-31-2020, 03:26 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, Lisa1. Your comment is helpful.
I usually have nothing in my mind. I might be just worried that what I want to say is irrelevant.
I am thinking to tell my therapist about it.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 01:41 AM
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Quote:
I actually want to talk more with him. I do not have friends and cannot chat with anyone, but I feel like talking with someone.
What should I do?

Just ask him this question.Why not?

It's his job to help you to cope with difficulties like this

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-08-2020, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, Gennadiy.

I am not sure what questions I can ask. I am worried my questions are inappropriate or irrelevant.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-08-2020, 03:48 PM
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that's quite rude that he finishes the session early. is he so useless that he cant help you for the remaining time which has been paid for? I would say get a new therapist.

 

but then my opinion of therapy is that it's mostly like this


"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks, andy1984.

Do you think so? I thought that it was my fault...
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-09-2020, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by SugarPush View Post
Thanks, andy1984.

Do you think so? I thought that it was my fault...
yeah but that's what you're there for isnt it?

all my therapists and counsellors except one did/said stuff that I really ought to have called them out for, but I never really did. it's so hard just based on the power imbalance. easier to bail and find a new one. just my opinion though. maybe you do get enough out of it for it to be worth your time and money.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-11-2020, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks again, andy1984.

I will think about it.
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