Originally Posted by LucasRojas2000
I know this may sound dumb or whatever, but I honestly don’t care. I’m 20 years old and I crave popularity, I want to be known, I want everybody and all of my past enemies to be jealous of me and be like “wow! He changed”. In school I was a weirdo for the most part, I was known as the weird guy who never talks and was socially awkward. Please help me become popular. I’m 20 now so it will be harder since I’m not in high school anymore. How did you become popular? I posted another question on here before, saying how everybody thought I was weird and that still stands so I must change myself to become popular and cool like everybody else.
Before we address why you feel the need to impress other people, I'll answer your question.
Let's look at people who are deemed cool. The first thing, is they know and like who they are, they're comfortable with who they are, they are ok with their weirdness, they don't care if someone doesn't think they're cool.
To be cool, you need to know what you believe in, what your likes and dislikes are and then you need to be UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU. Be you without caring if someone doesn't think you're cool, that's their thought model. Be cool for YOU.
What would the coolest version of you do, how would he be?
Would he care about what other people think of him?
Would he be kind or an ***?
Would he be affected by other people not thinking he is cool?
What would he do in his life?
How would he go about his day?
Bring this awareness into your day.
Be cool for you and you will notice other people who think you are cool. It might not be the people who thought you were weird in school because they have their own issues, but you will be cool and you will become more popular.
The more quality traits you embrace, the more popular, liked and cool you will become.
Now, the craving to be liked is a much deeper topic.
Why do you crave to be popular?
When you answer that, ask WHY, again and again until you get to a feeling, i.e.
Why do you crave to be popular
- because then all those people will be amazed at how much I have changed.
"Why is that important?"
- Because then they will look up to me.
"Why is that important?"
- Because I won't feel so worthless any more.
Keep asking WHY until you get to a FEELING...Because I want to feel powerful, I want to feel connected, I want to feel significant etc.
Once you know this, you'll realise that it's actually that feeling you want and we can look at how to bring more of that feeling into your life. Hope that helps?