I'm So Sick of Feeling Lonely!
I can't take it anymore. Usually I'm all by myself and I feel somewhat okay. I feel '' stable ''.
But then I meet someone new and know them for a really short time (sometimes even just 1 or 2 days) and then spend time with them and then when I'm again alone, I feel this suffocating, unbearable feeling inside me. I don't even know what it is. But it feels stifling and horrible. Like I want to just keep running as fast as I can and try to get it out of system.
And then I keep obsessing over whether the other person really likes me or is just rejecting me. Obsessing over the state of uncertainty. Like I need their approval, and just a warm simple '' I'll be there for you ''. Because I don't know if they'll be there or not. I need some kind of a safety net and I can't get one. If I don't sense any reassurance from them, I get this stifling feeling I talked about earlier.
I don't know how normies go on dates and deal with this uncertainty so well. It's killing me inside. I think the only way I'll be happy in life is if I get married and I know for sure that she loves me and will always be there. But how do you reach that stage without going through stage of uncertainty?
I'm so sick of this feeling! It's killing me inside. This happens EVERY TIME I meet another human being!!!! What is wrong with me!?!?!? I just want to feel normal like everyone else.