I hate this feeling - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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I hate this feeling

I hate the feeling I currently have. I'm at university and before I went home for Christmas I felt quite down because I feel so alone and stuff. By alone I mean a girlfriend because I've never had one and whenever I've been in a situation around girls I've tensed up and just been silent the whole time which obviously won't attract girls. My flatmates at uni are really nice but they do always talk about sex and how they got with this guy and I can never join in the conversation. I'm not even looking for a one night stand because I think I would be a great boyfriend and so I want a relationship. People have told me I've got good looks and stuff but I don't really feel it.

The problem now is that it's effecting my uni work. I feel so down all day that I have no motivation to attend lectures and seminars. I'm getting these same feelings I had before Christmas. I was hoping things would change for me but it's not happening. I've started to think that I'm not getting anywhere with my life and that I'm hopeless. Although my flatmates are lovely I don't feel they understand me. That's the worst part, I have no real people to talk to about these things. I feel very helpless a lot of the time and I feel down a lot of the time.

PS: I've had periods of depression over the last few years but this is one of the worst I've felt. I don't expect anyone to reply with a solution I've just come to rant and for some advice.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 01:32 PM
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You could talk to a school counselor about how your depression is affecting your work - see what input they have.

And you could see your doctor about treating the depression. Something as simple as an antidepressant could give you the 'pick-me-up' that you need to get through school.

If your depression is stronger than that, then it may be worth taking a break from school to work it out, before going back. But I'd suggest talking to a counselor and doctor before thinking about that.

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 01:32 PM
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Same here. I can't concetrate on studies, and right now feel so depressed (more depressed than ever, as you also said) that I see no point in anything. I even wonder how am I going to get a job later with this shi**y sa...
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 04:00 PM
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Have you joined any school groups or clubs? That's the best way to make friends and meet people.

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 04:59 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by AngelClare View Post
Have you joined any school groups or clubs? That's the best way to make friends and meet people.
I don't have any problems meeting people, I have a good mix of friends. My flatmates are really nice in general and we have a good laugh together. It's just they can be a bit too much sometimes. Plus they always seem happy and they makes me feel down because I wish I was like that more. I'm actually really happy with the group of friends I have. The alone feeling was relationships. All my flatmates go out and meet people in clubs but I feel awkward and can't do it because of SA. On nights out I've come home early and felt so upset because I've, as I mentioned frozen up, when in a club. Basically I feel SA is blocking me from having a relationship.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 01-08-2014, 05:14 PM
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I don't know why you're spending time listening to who your female friends slept with, sounds like they're using you as an emotional tampon that's why they're nice to you. Plus as you say yourself, women who sleep around every week are not the type of women you (or any decent man) wants to associate with.
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