I figgered I'd share my story of how I got SA - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-27-2010, 08:42 AM Thread Starter
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-27-2010, 09:21 AM
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Alot of people here can relate to your story or what you feel and are going through.
I think its nice to hear that someone understands every once in awhile, and I completely understand.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-27-2010, 04:05 PM
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I know EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 08:24 AM
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yup, I'm in that situation. I used to be hyper all the time about the smallest of things and now I struggle to be passionate in anything thanks to my high school years. Same with friends - after this summer I'm very much on my own.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 10:38 AM
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Wow man thanks for posting this story, at least you have the confidence too know that your true dude is hiding somewhere alot of people think there screwed for life.

I had a situation when i was 11, the anxiety that eventually warped out of it was only 1 problem among many others and if i had the confidence to say something or realize there was actually something deeply wrong i would probably have no anxiety today.Because of my confusion i mentally tortured myself throughout the next 6 years and the whole experience defined my personality, i was literally insane and now i'm rehealing the damage.I've done alot of work on myself and am much better, SA is one of the results but also one of the last things to conquer and i believe i can do it.If i could escape a reality that which seemed like the equivalent of hell by myself then i know i can do this.

I do plan to make a thread on this in the future as i'd like to share it.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 11:02 AM
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I usually dont read personal stories but yours was actually really good. You wrote it well and explained in great detail what went on. 5 gold stars!

They say its the quiet ones that really want to scream
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 12:07 PM
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If you want to, give this a try:

Actually, you might want to read it and then try it.

Mentally say to yourself five things you can see, hear and feel. Then four, then three, then one...and you might find yourself relaxing while you do that and you may like to discover how good that feels. And, if you want to close your eyes that's fine and if not, that's fine too. As the fact that you're there doing this exercise means you can get a really good sense of what feeling relaxed means to you.

And now, imagine a screen. Whether you see it there in front of you or you know it's there somewhere, that's right. See, sense and imagine it your way. Now on that screen is a time in your life when you needed some help. Perhaps a mildly upsetting moment from your past. But it's okay. That moment is frozen. And in that frozen image you can see a picture of your former self. How you were when you were going through that mildly upsetting event.

And when you're ready you might like to discover that you can go over to the screen and climb into the screen and enter that moment. But this time things are different. You have control over the moment. You're safe here. And you walk over to that former version of yourself and greet them however is best for you. You might like to say hi, or give them a hug.

And you might like to let them know that things turn out okay. Okay in the sense that you survive that troubling moment and, even though there may be some bad things in your library of experience, there are some good moments too.

And you might like to let that former version of yourself know that you know that no matter what has happened or will happen, you know he's a good person worthy of love and respect.

And if this is the version of you who you were before the SA and the other stuff developed, then you might also like to take hold of the earlier version of you's hand and hold it and realise that that's your hand. Your hand is touching your hand. Your body is touching your body and this body you are holding is your body. And you might like to let that former version of you merge or melt into yourself. And you might like to discover that you went through a bad time and survived. You came through it and changed and all the qualities that former version of you had are still yours. Your carried them with you. They are you.

And when you're ready, you might like to bring yourself back to full and present awareness.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 01:49 PM
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At least you write well.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by comscar View Post
At summer school a kid called me a retard because I never spoke. When I tried to defend myself he'd mimic me. What could I do about it? Well, I socked him in the face is what I did. Haha, just kidding. I was too much of a wimp to do what I wanted to do.

This got me angry when I read it (not at you, at the kid), because there was a kid (actually many kids, but one that stands out in particular) who used to do the same thing to me. He'd go on and on about what a dork I was while I remained quiet, and then when I gave a retort he would repeat what I said in a mocking voice, making me want to jump at his throat. I used to have wonderful dreams about bashing his stupid face in.

Recently, just out of curiosity, I looked up his profile on Facebook, and it looks like he is married or something, which made me angry again. You would think I'd have gotten over it by now, but when I think of the specific things that he and others did, I still get flashes of bitterness.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 09:24 PM
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Hey comscar

Even if your confidence has dropped to zero, I absolutely love your writing. It is witty, coherent and honest. Love it.

"The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live."
Elbert Hubbard
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-25-2010, 03:07 PM
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comscar, i actually went through a very similar experience. I lost my mother to cancer and was also bullied during junior high, and high school was unfulfilling. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger right?

Give me that man that is not passionís slave, and I will wear him in my heartís core, ay, in my heart of heart - Hamlet (Act 3, Scene 2)
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