I feel like a parasite friend - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-06-2011, 07:23 AM Thread Starter
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I feel like a parasite friend


This is going to sound stupid and not like a real problem.

Last year I made a new friend. We share common interests (music, films,...) and have a good time. He's 33 years old, has a job, a beautiful girlfriend, social success and lives on his own. And this is me: no job, loner with no girlfriend and surviving with the money my parents give to me. He doesn't know I have mental issues, but he is aware of my situation.

Well, everytime we hang out and go somewhere, he insists on paying everything with his money. I always say him that it's not neccesary and that I can afford it, give him the money but he refuses to take it. I insist again, he says that we're friends and he wants to invite me. I try several times more, but I end up giving up because I don't want to make a scene. It's crazy, he invites me and his girlfriend.

I feel very bad when this happens. I feel like a parasite, and I'm not the type of person who takes advantage of his friends. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I can't help feeling that he does it because he feels sorry for me. I don't want to let this stupidity damage our friendship. I've thought to make him a gift or something, but I don't know if it'd be appropiate.

Have you ever been in situation like this? What would you do? Am I a bad friend?
Sorry for the long post.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-06-2011, 07:35 AM
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1st- If you are 23 and he is 33 then yea, he had more time to get his act together.

2nd- if you feel bad, invite him out and then when its time to pay you insist that you invited and you are picking up the tab. If he really really doesnt let you pay, you pretend to go to the bathroom and go take care of the check.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-06-2011, 07:35 AM
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talk to him about how you feel and ask how he feels about the situation
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-06-2011, 08:28 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eek a mouse View Post
1st- If you are 23 and he is 33 then yea, he had more time to get his act together.

2nd- if you feel bad, invite him out and then when its time to pay you insist that you invited and you are picking up the tab. If he really really doesnt let you pay, you pretend to go to the bathroom and go take care of the check.
I'm not jelous of him. I know he is in a different situation in life, and has different problems than me.
The problem is that I'm not assertive enough. I've done what you suggest many times. But nothing changes. One time I even put my part in the pocket of his jacket and called him to say it. I do weird things like this because I'm clueless.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kennnie View Post
talk to him about how you feel and ask how he feels about the situation
Yes, I told him how I feel about this. But he says that I don't need to worry about it, and he wouldn't do it if he thought I was taking advantage of him. But what do his girlfriend and his others friends think of me?
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