" I don't talk" disorder - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
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Not sure what it is. At family meetings sometimes I could sit in a place for 5 hours without saying a single word.
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post #22 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 09:55 PM
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If you feel you CAN'T talk. Yeah, I think that qualifies as selective mutism.
If you don't want to talk, you're probably just shy/introverted.
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post #23 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 09:59 PM Thread Starter
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If you feel you CAN'T talk. Yeah, I think that qualifies as selective mutism.
If you don't want to talk, you're probably just shy/introverted.
I feel I can't. Even if I know it's just my negative thinking I can't get myself to do it.
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post #24 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 10:14 PM
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I feel I can't. Even if I know it's just my negative thinking I can't get myself to do it.
Yeah, I know what you mean man, I've got selective mutism myself. I have ever since I was a kid. It's terrible. Never being able to properly express yourself can do lots of damage in the long run. It makes the SA a lot more difficult to resolve. A person who feels they can't talk to people probably isn't going to get help... I think people with selective mutism tend to be less "open" with people as well, even friends and family. They're completely alone.

Eh, just another obstacle to overcome I guess.
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post #25 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 10:18 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah, I know what you mean man, I've got selective mutism myself. I have ever since I was a kid. It's terrible. Never being able to properly express yourself can do lots of damage in the long run. It makes the SA a lot more difficult to resolve. A person who feels they can't talk to people probably isn't going to get help... I think people with selective mutism tend to be less "open" with people as well, even friends and family. They're completely alone.

Eh, just another obstacle to overcome I guess.
True, it makes it a lot more difficult. At least people with depression and anxiety can talk over their problems with others and get along. Since I rarely talk, people tend to not even notice I'm there so I can't even get along with other people who have social anxiety. I'm alone everywhere.
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post #26 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 10:59 PM
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You're just an introvert.

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post #27 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 06:38 AM
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I feel like that occasionally. It's like I'm watching a movie: following the conversation with no urge to add anythig. The conversations seem painfully mediocre and I need to be alone ne so I can think.
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post #28 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 06:44 AM
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I think this is different than social anxiety. Maybe it relates more to selective mutism. Sometimes when I'm in social situations I don't experience anxiety symptoms like heart racing, palms sweating, shaking etc. I might feel comfortable I simply just don't talk.

What could this mean? people don't view me as somebody who is anxious but just as the person who doesn't talk.
Totally unrelated but: damn you're a good looking guy.
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post #29 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 07:04 AM
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I've always been a quiet and shy person too. If I'm talking one on one with someone, I'm okay, but if you throw in more people, I just clam up and keep my mouth shut. I sometimes think part of it is that I get easily annoyed by people who just ramble on and on and I get scared to be that person. The one everyone else is looking at and saying, "I wish this idiot would shut up!" It does make people wonder what's going on with you when you don't talk much though. When I first started working, I never talked to anyone much at my job. I was later told that the people I worked with were a bit scared of me because I never said anything and stayed to myself. But, on the positive side of all of this, I've also found that keeping quiet can sometimes be a good thing in the fact that whenever you do have something to say, people actually listen. That's been my experience anyway.
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post #30 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:20 AM
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Yeah, I know what you mean man, I've got selective mutism myself. I have ever since I was a kid. It's terrible. Never being able to properly express yourself can do lots of damage in the long run. It makes the SA a lot more difficult to resolve. A person who feels they can't talk to people probably isn't going to get help... I think people with selective mutism tend to be less "open" with people as well, even friends and family. They're completely alone.

Eh, just another obstacle to overcome I guess.
Same story. It feels like it takes so much effort and energy to be able to say something that I find talking too tiring for me, it amazes me other people can talk so naturally and effortless as if it's like breathing to them. I don't really care to talk either and I never have anything in my life to talk about. Even when I had a couple friends as a kid, I could talk to them, but was silent most of the time too.
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post #31 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:27 AM
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ya. It's hard. I can't really explain it, I just don't talk.
Do YOU honestly feel it's a problem for you not to talk?

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post #32 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
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Do YOU honestly feel it's a problem for you not to talk?
Of course. The only way you really get to know a lot about a person and develop deeper and meaningful connections is by talking to them. If you don't say anything nobody is going to know much about you and can't really talk about anything with you.

The fact that I have social anxiety and hardly talk is probably the reason I never had any close friends, never dated, and am alone most of the time. Yes I see that as a problem.
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post #33 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:44 AM
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i relate, people probably think i'm probably mentally handicapped because i don't talk

some days i have mad energy though and talk to everyone, wish everyday was like that.

i never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
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post #34 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:49 AM
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I know how ya feel man. The only time I really talk is when someone speaks to me, and it's a quick answer, then I'm on my way.

Having conversations exhausts me. Sometimes I actually wish I had a disorder that kept me from speaking so I would have an excuse not to talk with people.
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post #35 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:52 AM
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I might feel comfortable I simply just don't talk.
But you do feel comfortable not talking?

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
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When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
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post #36 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 10:54 AM Thread Starter
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But you do feel comfortable not talking?
No. It depends on the situation. I know for sure that I have social anxiety. But in some cases I just don't talk. And then I see other people with SA who are talkative but might just be awkward. So it just makes me think what's going on there.
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post #37 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 11:05 AM
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Of course. The only way you really get to know a lot about a person and develop deeper and meaningful connections is by talking to them. If you don't say anything nobody is going to know much about you and can't really talk about anything with you.

The fact that I have social anxiety and hardly talk is probably the reason I never had any close friends, never dated, and am alone most of the time. Yes I see that as a problem.
Sorry, I didn't understand but I just looked up selective mutism for the first time. So you do want to talk but feel you can't? That must be very frustrating.

I don't talk because I simply don't want to or I don't get the topic so can't add anything and I'm introverted anyway.

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
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When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
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post #38 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 11:09 AM Thread Starter
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Sorry, I didn't understand but I just looked up selective mutism for the first time. So you do want to talk but feel you can't? That must be very frustrating.

I don't talk because I simply don't want to or I don't get the topic so can't add anything and I'm introverted anyway.
yep. It depends on the context. One on one I'm okay but when it gets to a group of like 3-4 it's like I automatically shut down and don't say anything.
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post #39 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 11:45 AM
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I feel the same as you, i want to talk but nothing comes to mind or i just feel like the other person just won't care for what i'm about to say so i just sit there and nod. People say i'm angry, shy, quiet or whatever comes to their mind first, it really sucks :/

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post #40 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-22-2013, 05:47 PM
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I do one on one but not in large groups. I might nod my head and say 'yep' 'exactly' or 'oh really' type of stuff but that's about it. If somebody directs a question to me I can answer but I can never say a comment.

For example I met with people who have anxiety tonight and they all ended up talking fine with each other and explaining their experiences and stuff and I was the only one who sat there and rarely said anything.
Are you interested in what everyone else is saying? If so, do you find it difficult to express your opinions at the right time? If not, have you tried talking to others that share similar interests. Do you think group discussions are too fast? Do you filter too much of your thoughts before speaking?

Know and believe in yourself, and what others think won't disturb you (William Feather)
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