" I don't talk" disorder - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 07:46 PM Thread Starter
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" I don't talk" disorder


I think this is different than social anxiety. Maybe it relates more to selective mutism. Sometimes when I'm in social situations I don't experience anxiety symptoms like heart racing, palms sweating, shaking etc. I might feel comfortable I simply just don't talk.

What could this mean? people don't view me as somebody who is anxious but just as the person who doesn't talk.
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post #2 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 07:47 PM
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I can relate. Either, I can't think of anything to say or I feel like what I have to say is insignificant.
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post #3 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 07:51 PM
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You are an introvert.
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post #4 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 07:52 PM
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I'm the same way and always wondered the same thing!

"Pick out your paralysis and unlock it, and flex the fear till it builds you a rocket and rise, and if you fall, at least you'll end up between where you will be and where you would have been." -Sara B
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post #5 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 07:53 PM Thread Starter
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You are an introvert.
But introverts can talk with other introverts. Even in a group of shy people I don't say anything.
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post #6 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:05 PM Thread Starter
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ya. It's hard. I can't really explain it, I just don't talk.
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post #7 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:11 PM
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I am right there with you! Often labeled "shy" and "quiet". Very frustrating. But I don't feel like being an extrovert. Maybe you just don't like talking! I really have to force myself out of my comfort box to have a conversation. And I seem very nervous and just say "so" and "yep" a lot! I wonder if there is a dating site for introverts? I think it would be really helpful to talk to someone else who doesn't talk a lot or who is shy and quiet like me. Maybe that will help you too!
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post #8 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:15 PM Thread Starter
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I am right there with you! Often labeled "shy" and "quiet". Very frustrating. But I don't feel like being an extrovert. Maybe you just don't like talking! I really have to force myself out of my comfort box to have a conversation. And I seem very nervous and just say "so" and "yep" a lot! I wonder if there is a dating site for introverts? I think it would be really helpful to talk to someone else who doesn't talk a lot or who is shy and quiet like me. Maybe that will help you too!
I'm fine one on one with most people even if they are extroverted. Just when it gets to groups I literally don't say anything. It's like I freeze and turn into a statue and don't say a word.
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post #9 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:19 PM
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That's exactly how I am. I just smile a lot and laugh occasionally. I think some people are naturally more sociable and enjoy that sort of thing, while others like me find it frightening to be in a group of people. 3 or more people and that's it, my mouth is shut. Even att he dinner table with family I never say anything! Could it be you're afraid of being judged or that peole won't accept you? That's how it is with me, I'm really afraid of saying anything stupid. Well, I'm sure it just takes practice!
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post #10 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:19 PM
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Oh I love SM. Everyone wants to know why you don't talk, but you can't even so much as explain how your brain simply decides it should shut down, like it's been out in a Cleveland blizzard all night, therefore producing nary a word. Lovely!

Shoot me.

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post #11 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:19 PM
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But introverts can talk with other introverts. Even in a group of shy people I don't say anything.
Do you literally don't say anything? What is the context you feel comfortable with other people?
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post #12 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:19 PM Thread Starter
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Same. I don't even talk to anybody in my family except my brother.
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post #13 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:22 PM Thread Starter
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Do you literally don't say anything? What is the context you feel comfortable with other people?
I do one on one but not in large groups. I might nod my head and say 'yep' 'exactly' or 'oh really' type of stuff but that's about it. If somebody directs a question to me I can answer but I can never say a comment.

For example I met with people who have anxiety tonight and they all ended up talking fine with each other and explaining their experiences and stuff and I was the only one who sat there and rarely said anything.
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post #14 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:23 PM
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Well I'm happy to have met someone who is like me I really don't mind not talking, the reason I get nervous is because it makes other people uncomfortable or they just act like I am boring them. One on one is really bad for me even. I just say things to ease other people's comfortability!
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post #15 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:26 PM
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I don't know about you but for me I think I just need to become more comfortable with myself, then maybe I will be able to open up more to people and not be so shy. I also do not experience sweaty palms, fast heart rate or any of that, which is great, but I do want to be able to carry on a conversation well. My therapist told me to ask questions. So maybe when you aren't saying anything you can just listen to the conversation, ask questions, and just be interested in other people. I think that adding comments will come with time and experience.
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post #16 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:31 PM
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Your case seems normal to me, maybe you really don't like to talk that much.
Selective mutism looks like a more extreme case.
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post #17 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
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True. Although I doubt anybody would say I was 'normal' lol
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post #18 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 08:49 PM
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I don't feel like talking or needing to talk to people. Whenever someone asks me something, I would be like "I don't know." or I would have to think about it for a while. An example of this is when I order from the drive thru. I take forever to order something at the drive thru.
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post #19 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 09:19 PM
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This is my main problem. When there are more than a couple of people I just can't think of anything to say and prefer to just listen.

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post #20 of 62 (permalink) Old 11-21-2013, 09:29 PM
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Frequently even when I feel relatively comfortable in a social situation, I don't talk. In my case it's because I just have nothing to contribute that I feel anyone would appreciate or be interested in (or I literally have nothing to say about a situation because I've never had any experience with it).

I don't think it's selective mutism or whatever in my case, since I could speak, if I had something to say. There ARE situations where I'm literally too anxious to speak, but in situations where I'm not particularly anxious, I could, I just don't. :/ And since it doesn't necessarily come with anxiety, I don't see it as a "disorder," it's just...not having anything to say, or not wanting to say anything.

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It's like I freeze and turn into a statue and don't say a word.
I realize you're talking about situations where you don't feel anxious, but that there sounds like anxiety. Why else would you freeze? :/ Plus, you don't need all the physical symptoms like shaking, racing heart, sweating, etc. to be anxious; I don't experience physical anxiety symptoms very often, just mental/emotional ones.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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