I can't end a conversation. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-26-2020, 08:08 AM Thread Starter
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I can't end a conversation.

Do you feel that you can't end a conversation so you tend to just avoid it ?
For me this is one of the most difficult parts of a conversation because i am afraid people will judge me if i end the conversation or it will be awkward to end it , so what happens is most of my conversations with people i feel anxious about take a very long time with nothing to say sometimes . How can you cope with this ? I find it very difficult especially with the people that i don't know very well

Please help
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-26-2020, 09:58 AM
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Think about all the times that others have ended conversations with you, they probably did so politely right? There comes a time in the conversation when you need to excuse yourself from it, and I don't think anyone will be visibly annoyed when you do so. You can say something simple like "It was nice talking with you, let's talk later" or whatever seems appropriate given the context. Everyone should understand that you have a life to go back to.

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
─ Anas Nin
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-26-2020, 10:45 AM
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Yes I feel like this sometimes. I think what's helpful is setting a personal boundary where it's okay to interrupt and politely leave. Maybe say something like "excuse me, but I gotta go now"

Remember, your views and what you have to say matter to others AND to yourself
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-26-2020, 11:01 AM
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Ending conversations can be awkward especially when the other person doesn't pick up on the cues that you need to go. Sometimes I get stuck in a conversation for too long a time (and it's not like I'm the one doing most of the talking.)

But most of my interactions are work related. I'll say things like:
"Well I need to go, see you later"
"Is there anything else you need from me?"

And then sometimes just smile, nod my head, and walk away lmao
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-27-2020, 01:46 AM
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I think it's mostly coming up and learning a pool of smooth conversation enders, memorize them and get use to using them. Phrases like "it's getting late, I gotta go" "I gotta go home and make dinner" "I gotta run to the store" or etc. Or whatever you're talking about, say something like "oh we should do that next time". Just phrases where it will smooth out of you ending the conversation and leaving. Rather than the just awkward all of a sudden "bye" and walking off. Observing other conversations and how they end I think will help too.

Its good to bear in mind that most other people also do not want to prolong a conversation too long, as they do have places to be or things to do. So ending conversations is definitely not a stigma. Chances are the other person also want to end the conversation and have some anxiety doing it.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-27-2020, 04:20 AM
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"Hey It would be really nice to keep talking with you, but I got this thing that I really need to attend to so let's be sure to continue another time"

-> Proceed avoiding that person for the next year and a half.

"If you need a safe space, see a therapist" - Jordan Peterson
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