How to not avoid phone calls or text mssgs? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-24-2020, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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How to not avoid phone calls or text mssgs?

How do you get confidence to speak on the phone?

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-24-2020, 03:02 PM
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I really don't know - but I know with me it just generally depends how I'm feeling in general. (as with everything for me) I can remember getting really anxious on the phone sometimes - I'd be worried they could hear the nervousness in my voice.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-24-2020, 05:22 PM
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It may sound cheesy but faking it till you make it really works.

I had a job where I had to communicate with others through the radio and I just pretended to have the voice of an audiobook narrator or radio spokesperson, deliberately mimicking that calm, cool collected, well-pronounced sounding voice that a person would take pleasure in listening to.

It's really a performance when it comes to speaking to job interview contacts, customers and co-workers.

Perfect the performance until it becomes yours and sounds natural. Listen to how people talk on the news and emulate that

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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-24-2020, 08:14 PM
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When your phone rings or there's a text the 1st time pick it up, just pick it up. Look at it, now put it down. Step one. Next step is to pick up your phone and just type a text, don't send it, if its a call, let it ring . The idea is to get use to calls, note who's calling, how many rings. Next day, type a text to someone you know a small text. Hi How are you and hit send, if they text you, read the text, if you can leave it for a day, leave it. go do something else don't think about the text or call. Do this till you are comfortable holding a phone, are comfortable hearing a ring. There's more but do this first.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-25-2020, 02:21 AM
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You don't think about it, you act and then your feelings follow. So choose to act calm to avoid having an anxiety attack. I was feeling the usual anxiety before going out for a bike ride but I got ready calmly and acted and then my feelings followed. What feelings were those you ask? Not anxiety, perhaps just calming endorphins. Maybe you can laugh for a bit, give yourself a laughing attack, listen to music, take the steps to work, move your body. I guess that's why my anxiety lessens, because I was riding the bike which = endorphins masking my anxiety!

Talking seems like you won't know what to say when you're just thinking to your self in your head and preparing for it. But that's not how it really works. We say things we have to say when we are talking to someone, like you don't know what to say until you say it. Well that's how it works for me and afterwards I'm like, what the heck just happened, someone inside of me spoke for me, and it went well. It's pretty funny how much we worry when once we start doing it, it works out just fine. So give it a try.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-25-2020, 04:40 AM
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I mostly just have trouble initiating calls. If someone calls me, it's a bit easier because I'm only focused on responding to whatever they say.

I generally hate my voice though. I avoided using "voice notes" for most of my life until this stupid pandemic made it almost necessary at work.

I also hate using zoom / skype, etc because I feel like I almost NEED to use all the channels just to get my point across (voice, tone, facial expressions, hand movements, ...) <-- just using voice means a lot more effort for me just to make a point.

Text messages are fine with me, I just take a LOT more time to formulate my sentences than most people.

Oh, and I've managed to live my life without ordering food. If I really have to eat I prefer to go in person because I just hate using only voice, it's just worse and requires a lot more effort.

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