How to destroy self doubt video - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-15-2020, 07:36 AM Thread Starter
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How to destroy self doubt video


I just saw this youtube video on "How to destroy self doubt video". I think self doubt is what is at the core of a lot of social anxiety so the video should help someone with SA. Video Last 3 minutes I think it is really useful and helpful. Let me know what you think and your thoughts on the video.

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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-15-2020, 12:25 PM
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This is basically ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-15-2020, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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This is basically ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).
Never heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Have you tried it and did you find it highly effective?

I like the idea he presents in the video of when you demonstrate courage by doing the thing your afraid to do it eliminates self doubt. I guess the very difficult part to accomplish is the "just do it" part of it and take the action dispite your fear. Not easily done when your having a full on panic attack.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-16-2020, 01:38 AM
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Never heard of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Have you tried it and did you find it highly effective?

I like the idea he presents in the video of when you demonstrate courage by doing the thing your afraid to do it eliminates self doubt. I guess the very difficult part to accomplish is the "just do it" part of it and take the action dispite your fear. Not easily done when your having a full on panic attack.
I've never tried it. I read a book about it. It's very mindfulness oriented. Go out and do what you need to do and just sit with the emotion when it happens and let it pass. I do something like that already with certain kinds of things, but I can't do it with others. Like, I can force myself to order a cup of coffee but I can't force myself to pick up spiders. It depends entirely on how intense my fear is. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you just don't really want to do it, you probably can.

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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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I've never tried it. I read a book about it. It's very mindfulness oriented. Go out and do what you need to do and just sit with the emotion when it happens and let it pass. I do something like that already with certain kinds of things, but I can't do it with others. Like, I can force myself to order a cup of coffee but I can't force myself to pick up spiders. It depends entirely on how intense my fear is. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you just don't really want to do it, you probably can.
Yea that is the question can you simply overcome something that you cant do through "courage" or by "just doing it" as he says in the video? Kind of hard to determine where the line is between something you cant do and something you dont really want to do.

Kind of like when I was in school and had to give a presentation in class. I would have a panic attack and start trembling and shaking. Kind of involuntary physical symptoms. Could I have overcome this with growing some balls or courage? Not at the time I dont think so but if I had the proper support and encouragement at the time perhaps I could have. Hard to say
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 12:33 PM
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Yea that is the question can you simply overcome something that you cant do through "courage" or by "just doing it" as he says in the video? Kind of hard to determine where the line is between something you cant do and something you dont really want to do.

Kind of like when I was in school and had to give a presentation in class. I would have a panic attack and start trembling and shaking. Kind of involuntary physical symptoms. Could I have overcome this with growing some balls or courage? Not at the time I dont think so but if I had the proper support and encouragement at the time perhaps I could have. Hard to say
Yeah, support is really important. Like, there are a lot of things I can't bring myself to do because I have to do them alone, but if someone were with me I could do them. I need a support person, lol. My therapist actually suggested getting a support dog, but I can't afford one. And dogs kind of scare me. Maybe a support cat. But it would have to be a big one, like a lynx.

I guess the point is, if you need a support person, you just need to grow a pair, but I think that's being too dichotomous. I think the problem is that society has no way to cater to people who need a moderate amount of support. You're either completely disabled or you're completely functional, there's no in-between. But I would probably be fairly functional if I just had that support; without it, I'm completely dysfunctional. If I could get disability, I would be okay, and I could work on my writing, etc., and still be productive. It's the relentless stress of not knowing how I'm going to pay my bills that leads to all the things that make me incapable of working (insomnia, nausea, migraines, suicidality, etc.).

So I guess I feel like having to grow a pair just to function is also an indictment of culture. In many previous cultures, a person like me would simply have existed within the family economy, contributing in whatever ways I can and being supported in turn by the family. But in this culture, I don't get that luxury. My family kicked me out when I was 18 in part because it's considered completely normal for everyone to be entirely self-sufficient unless they have some kind of completely incapacitating condition like paralysis or psychosis.

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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 07:55 PM
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i didn't watch this (pls forgive me) but i was not expecting a hazel-eyed man in a wifebeater-undershirt filming out of his makeshift gym O_O

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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
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i didn't watch this (pls forgive me) but i was not expecting a hazel-eyed man in a wifebeater-undershirt filming out of his makeshift gym O_O
Yea life advice dosent always come from someone in the put together package you would expect! lol Check out the video though I think he makes some good points
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-19-2020, 01:24 AM
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Like, I can force myself to order a cup of coffee but I can't force myself to pick up spiders. It depends entirely on how intense my fear is. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you just don't really want to do it, you probably can.
I'd just like to add that it's because the challenge level has to be acceptable. Even if you 'break through' and pick up that spider, you could find that experience hugely traumatising and actually move backwards rather than forwards. So appropriate steps might be anything from drawing a spider to looking at photos of spiders to picking up the spider on a piece of paper, to carrying it around for a while on a piece of paper, to picking it up with your hand (I'm not suggesting these actual steps, just highlighting that working with fear has to be a carefully controlled process).

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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-20-2020, 12:49 AM
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I'd just like to add that it's because the challenge level has to be acceptable. Even if you 'break through' and pick up that spider, you could find that experience hugely traumatising and actually move backwards rather than forwards. So appropriate steps might be anything from drawing a spider to looking at photos of spiders to picking up the spider on a piece of paper, to carrying it around for a while on a piece of paper, to picking it up with your hand (I'm not suggesting these actual steps, just highlighting that working with fear has to be a carefully controlled process).
This sounds like a long list of things I would never do.

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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-20-2020, 01:50 AM
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I don't doubt anything about myself (well, except for reasonable doubts, which are really not the problem, are they?). I doubt everything about everyone else.

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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 01:15 AM
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This sounds like a long list of things I would never do.
If you were trying to beat your fear of spiders, a therapist could build in steps that go before drawing a spider. That's just an example.

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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-21-2020, 10:37 AM
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If you were trying to beat your fear of spiders, a therapist could build in steps that go before drawing a spider. That's just an example.
Lol, I know. I was just trying to be funny. Anyone willing to beat their fear of spiders is a braver person than I am. People who like spiders are basically superheroes.

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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 12:44 AM
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Lol, I know. I was just trying to be funny. Anyone willing to beat their fear of spiders is a braver person than I am. People who like spiders are basically superheroes.
All right! Sorry, I didn't pick up on that. I'm also struggling with my spider issues, especially now that they're invading my bathroom on a regular basis. One of the cats eats them which should be a relief, but instead it's just sad and disgusting.

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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 01:36 AM
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All right! Sorry, I didn't pick up on that. I'm also struggling with my spider issues, especially now that they're invading my bathroom on a regular basis. One of the cats eats them which should be a relief, but instead it's just sad and disgusting.
I talked my little brother into eating a spider when he was a little kid. It's probably the evilest thing I've ever done. Hope you get the spider thing sorted out. They love my kitchen.

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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 01:37 AM
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Spiders and insects are dangerous. I wouldn't mess with them unless you are an expert.


In ACT we use our values to guide us. So we might be doubtful about others but our value to be response-able means we will risk feeling uncomfortable if it serves a greater purpose (avoiding paralysis).

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-27-2020, 12:49 PM Thread Starter
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Spiders and insects are dangerous. I wouldn't mess with them unless you are an expert.
That is what people get wrong about exposure therapy they do it all wrong. If your afraid of snakes and handle one and get bit it makes you more afraid not less. If you handle the snake and dont get hurt and see it is harmless then that it what is effective in reducing your fears
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 07:15 AM
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I just saw this youtube video on "How to destroy self doubt video". I think self doubt is what is at the core of a lot of social anxiety so the video should help someone with SA. Video Last 3 minutes I think it is really useful and helpful. Let me know what you think and your thoughts on the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xgjb8spwew
I watched this video b4 about several years ago. I used the technique of acceptance and exposure . It worked after several years. My social awkwardness or anxiety did disappear!. But I am currently learning how to master my social skills in workplaces.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-29-2020, 08:16 AM Thread Starter
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I watched this video b4 about several years ago. I used the technique of acceptance and exposure . It worked after several years. My social awkwardness or anxiety did disappear!. But I am currently learning how to master my social skills in workplaces.
Glad it helped you. Sounds like acceptance and exposure worked very well for you. Do you know of a website or some other resource to direct me to so I can do acceptance and exposure therapy on myself?
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