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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 09-08-2015, 08:59 AM Thread Starter
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How Social Anxiety Works!!!



This may sound strange to you but the title is correct. There actually is a mechanism to how this social anxiety keeps its hold over you. This is not an unexplainable phenomenon but a process which involves the presence of some common factors among all the affectees of Social Anxiety.

I will start with the definition of anxiety. It is a painful uneasiness of mind, accompanied by body symptoms. People have different type of anxiety depending upon the stimulus that triggers anxiety. Social anxiety is that anxiety which is felt when you are around people. This means you are uneasy when you are with people, with even one person. Its degree varies depending upon the kind of person and your mental state. So what is that keeps you in social anxiety? Well, the answer is YOU. You are keeping yourself in social anxiety. Please just donít end reading here and give me a chance to explain this a little.

First stage, difficulty to perform:-
Why do you feel anxious? Why do you feel fearful in other people? I donít want to go into details because that is not the subject. In short, you feel fear from people, most common fears being fear of being judged and fear of embarrassment and fear that you have anxiety and you will not be able to hide it.

Due to this fear you are not focused on the conversation, on the situation either. You are too focused on yourself, on your feelings. Why do I feel that way, what is happening to me, what should I say to this guy, what if I said this and he/she does not like it. These are some of your thoughts when you are in public/ social situations. Now how on earth you can be able to enjoy your talk or the occasion if you are so much focused on yourself? So the simple fact is that ĎI donít have anything to say or anything interesting to say because I am not focusedí.

Stage 2: Expecting the Negative
Now when the situation ends which is say a party. Well people might have enjoyed it, had a lot of fun, some would have tried to talk to you and you wouldnít be able to respond as well as you wanted. Or you were not able to even talk to anyone because you are worried, you were anxious and you were not focused. But it doesnít end here. Now after the situation, you have started beating yourself up. Why didnít I say this, why didnít I do that. Why canít I enjoy in people. Everyone would be thinking what a person he/she is who doesnít have anything to say at all. So this beating up continued until you are convinced that you are no good in other people.

The next time the social situation occurs. You are mentally convinced that you will not be able to do well in people. You will have anxiety, you wonít have much interesting to say. People are not gonna like you and bla bla blas. This negative expectation, which we call anticipatory anxiety, that occurs before the particular situation is basically you, reinforcing the anxiety. And when you are in that situation, again you are not focused, you know that you cant talk well in other people. People are not gonna like you. So you have added something more negative and again you will not be able to participate as well as others would have been doing because you are not there mentally.

Now this cycle continues, you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and not doing well makes you more anxious. Now you start avoiding situations, you started expecting things to be negative, you start expecting your life will remain negative. Your self esteem is badly shaken. You start worrying about others, about situations in life and your ability to deal with problems. Small problems start bothering you more. Why did he say this to me? Nobody cares for me or understands me. I have no worth. The more you worry the more negative chemicals you release in your body which cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing of heart, stomach problems, difficulty to sleep etc.

So this is all we experience in social anxiety. But I want to take a look at how it started. It starts with negative thoughts and feelings. And the more you listen to these negative thoughts the more you move into this cycle, vicious circle of social anxiety which is you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and you are anxious because you donít do well in social situations.

Stage 3: Hopelessness:-
The third stage ĎHopelessnessí arises because our mind can not stay idle when this happens. You automatically try to do something to tackle with the situation. But what you do start fighting yourself. You start using anger. I am going to overcome this problem today. I am going to face this situation no matter what happens. And you face the situation with anger but nothing happens. You are dumb, blank in people. Now you start insisting. I shouldnít feel this way. I should be able to talk with others, to enjoy why why why? You again face the situation but the result is same. Finally, you start bemoaning. What have I done to deserve this fate. I am a good person. I have never thought bad about people. Why I am being punished. Now you feel hopeless and find no use in trying to face your fears. I have tried everything but nothing works. In this stage your physical symptoms become more severe and normally before you are aware you are in these three stages.

So that is how you keep yourself in social anxiety. The most important thing is that the more you worry on your problems, the worse it gets. So first stage is not to worry too much about your problems. If you donít have much friends, so what. If you feel anxious in people, so what? If you have stomach problems, so what? This is not a life or death situation. Remember, woyrying about your problems, fighting with yourself is adding gasoline to the fire which will only worsen it. That is why if someone praises you, you feel good. If someone makes you feel that you have done a good job, you feel good. Because you are not worrying. So if you donít do anything and just stop worrying about these problems, your miseries, you are breaking this cycle and this will help a little. However, there is a proper way to deal with your problems i.e. change your thinking and behavior, slowly which I will explain in my next post.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-28-2016, 08:13 AM
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This may sound strange to you but the title is correct. There actually is a mechanism to how this social anxiety keeps its hold over you. This is not an unexplainable phenomenon but a process which involves the presence of some common factors among all the affectees of Social Anxiety.

I will start with the definition of anxiety. It is a painful uneasiness of mind, accompanied by body symptoms. People have different type of anxiety depending upon the stimulus that triggers anxiety. Social anxiety is that anxiety which is felt when you are around people. This means you are uneasy when you are with people, with even one person. Its degree varies depending upon the kind of person and your mental state. So what is that keeps you in social anxiety? Well, the answer is YOU. You are keeping yourself in social anxiety. Please just donít end reading here and give me a chance to explain this a little.

First stage, difficulty to perform:-
Why do you feel anxious? Why do you feel fearful in other people? I donít want to go into details because that is not the subject. In short, you feel fear from people, most common fears being fear of being judged and fear of embarrassment and fear that you have anxiety and you will not be able to hide it.

Due to this fear you are not focused on the conversation, on the situation either. You are too focused on yourself, on your feelings. Why do I feel that way, what is happening to me, what should I say to this guy, what if I said this and he/she does not like it. These are some of your thoughts when you are in public/ social situations. Now how on earth you can be able to enjoy your talk or the occasion if you are so much focused on yourself? So the simple fact is that ĎI donít have anything to say or anything interesting to say because I am not focusedí.

Stage 2: Expecting the Negative
Now when the situation ends which is say a party. Well people might have enjoyed it, had a lot of fun, some would have tried to talk to you and you wouldnít be able to respond as well as you wanted. Or you were not able to even talk to anyone because you are worried, you were anxious and you were not focused. But it doesnít end here. Now after the situation, you have started beating yourself up. Why didnít I say this, why didnít I do that. Why canít I enjoy in people. Everyone would be thinking what a person he/she is who doesnít have anything to say at all. So this beating up continued until you are convinced that you are no good in other people.

The next time the social situation occurs. You are mentally convinced that you will not be able to do well in people. You will have anxiety, you wonít have much interesting to say. People are not gonna like you and bla bla blas. This negative expectation, which we call anticipatory anxiety, that occurs before the particular situation is basically you, reinforcing the anxiety. And when you are in that situation, again you are not focused, you know that you cant talk well in other people. People are not gonna like you. So you have added something more negative and again you will not be able to participate as well as others would have been doing because you are not there mentally.

Now this cycle continues, you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and not doing well makes you more anxious. Now you start avoiding situations, you started expecting things to be negative, you start expecting your life will remain negative. Your self esteem is badly shaken. You start worrying about others, about situations in life and your ability to deal with problems. Small problems start bothering you more. Why did he say this to me? Nobody cares for me or understands me. I have no worth. The more you worry the more negative chemicals you release in your body which cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing of heart, stomach problems, difficulty to sleep etc.

So this is all we experience in social anxiety. But I want to take a look at how it started. It starts with negative thoughts and feelings. And the more you listen to these negative thoughts the more you move into this cycle, vicious circle of social anxiety which is you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and you are anxious because you donít do well in social situations.

Stage 3: Hopelessness:-
The third stage ĎHopelessnessí arises because our mind can not stay idle when this happens. You automatically try to do something to tackle with the situation. But what you do start fighting yourself. You start using anger. I am going to overcome this problem today. I am going to face this situation no matter what happens. And you face the situation with anger but nothing happens. You are dumb, blank in people. Now you start insisting. I shouldnít feel this way. I should be able to talk with others, to enjoy why why why? You again face the situation but the result is same. Finally, you start bemoaning. What have I done to deserve this fate. I am a good person. I have never thought bad about people. Why I am being punished. Now you feel hopeless and find no use in trying to face your fears. I have tried everything but nothing works. In this stage your physical symptoms become more severe and normally before you are aware you are in these three stages.

So that is how you keep yourself in social anxiety. The most important thing is that the more you worry on your problems, the worse it gets. So first stage is not to worry too much about your problems. If you donít have much friends, so what. If you feel anxious in people, so what? If you have stomach problems, so what? This is not a life or death situation. Remember, woyrying about your problems, fighting with yourself is adding gasoline to the fire which will only worsen it. That is why if someone praises you, you feel good. If someone makes you feel that you have done a good job, you feel good. Because you are not worrying. So if you donít do anything and just stop worrying about these problems, your miseries, you are breaking this cycle and this will help a little. However, there is a proper way to deal with your problems i.e. change your thinking and behavior, slowly which I will explain in my next post.
Wow great post. How can you stop worrying? Im worried about talking with someone tommorrow just by thinking about it, and if i dont worry im not focused
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-28-2016, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by man143 View Post
This may sound strange to you but the title is correct. There actually is a mechanism to how this social anxiety keeps its hold over you. This is not an unexplainable phenomenon but a process which involves the presence of some common factors among all the affectees of Social Anxiety.

I will start with the definition of anxiety. It is a painful uneasiness of mind, accompanied by body symptoms. People have different type of anxiety depending upon the stimulus that triggers anxiety. Social anxiety is that anxiety which is felt when you are around people. This means you are uneasy when you are with people, with even one person. Its degree varies depending upon the kind of person and your mental state. So what is that keeps you in social anxiety? Well, the answer is YOU. You are keeping yourself in social anxiety. Please just donít end reading here and give me a chance to explain this a little.

First stage, difficulty to perform:-
Why do you feel anxious? Why do you feel fearful in other people? I donít want to go into details because that is not the subject. In short, you feel fear from people, most common fears being fear of being judged and fear of embarrassment and fear that you have anxiety and you will not be able to hide it.

Due to this fear you are not focused on the conversation, on the situation either. You are too focused on yourself, on your feelings. Why do I feel that way, what is happening to me, what should I say to this guy, what if I said this and he/she does not like it. These are some of your thoughts when you are in public/ social situations. Now how on earth you can be able to enjoy your talk or the occasion if you are so much focused on yourself? So the simple fact is that ĎI donít have anything to say or anything interesting to say because I am not focusedí.

Stage 2: Expecting the Negative
Now when the situation ends which is say a party. Well people might have enjoyed it, had a lot of fun, some would have tried to talk to you and you wouldnít be able to respond as well as you wanted. Or you were not able to even talk to anyone because you are worried, you were anxious and you were not focused. But it doesnít end here. Now after the situation, you have started beating yourself up. Why didnít I say this, why didnít I do that. Why canít I enjoy in people. Everyone would be thinking what a person he/she is who doesnít have anything to say at all. So this beating up continued until you are convinced that you are no good in other people.

The next time the social situation occurs. You are mentally convinced that you will not be able to do well in people. You will have anxiety, you wonít have much interesting to say. People are not gonna like you and bla bla blas. This negative expectation, which we call anticipatory anxiety, that occurs before the particular situation is basically you, reinforcing the anxiety. And when you are in that situation, again you are not focused, you know that you cant talk well in other people. People are not gonna like you. So you have added something more negative and again you will not be able to participate as well as others would have been doing because you are not there mentally.

Now this cycle continues, you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and not doing well makes you more anxious. Now you start avoiding situations, you started expecting things to be negative, you start expecting your life will remain negative. Your self esteem is badly shaken. You start worrying about others, about situations in life and your ability to deal with problems. Small problems start bothering you more. Why did he say this to me? Nobody cares for me or understands me. I have no worth. The more you worry the more negative chemicals you release in your body which cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing of heart, stomach problems, difficulty to sleep etc.

So this is all we experience in social anxiety. But I want to take a look at how it started. It starts with negative thoughts and feelings. And the more you listen to these negative thoughts the more you move into this cycle, vicious circle of social anxiety which is you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and you are anxious because you donít do well in social situations.

Stage 3: Hopelessness:-
The third stage ĎHopelessnessí arises because our mind can not stay idle when this happens. You automatically try to do something to tackle with the situation. But what you do start fighting yourself. You start using anger. I am going to overcome this problem today. I am going to face this situation no matter what happens. And you face the situation with anger but nothing happens. You are dumb, blank in people. Now you start insisting. I shouldnít feel this way. I should be able to talk with others, to enjoy why why why? You again face the situation but the result is same. Finally, you start bemoaning. What have I done to deserve this fate. I am a good person. I have never thought bad about people. Why I am being punished. Now you feel hopeless and find no use in trying to face your fears. I have tried everything but nothing works. In this stage your physical symptoms become more severe and normally before you are aware you are in these three stages.

So that is how you keep yourself in social anxiety. The most important thing is that the more you worry on your problems, the worse it gets. So first stage is not to worry too much about your problems. If you donít have much friends, so what. If you feel anxious in people, so what? If you have stomach problems, so what? This is not a life or death situation. Remember, woyrying about your problems, fighting with yourself is adding gasoline to the fire which will only worsen it. That is why if someone praises you, you feel good. If someone makes you feel that you have done a good job, you feel good. Because you are not worrying. So if you donít do anything and just stop worrying about these problems, your miseries, you are breaking this cycle and this will help a little. However, there is a proper way to deal with your problems i.e. change your thinking and behavior, slowly which I will explain in my next post.
Hey @Man 123 it's great that you've taken the time to write all of that for us all to read. And it all makes perfect sense however when you're used to being the way you are and with the way you think it's very difficult to change that thought process. Unfortunately cognitive behavioural therapy didn't work for me. I'm going to give some counseling a shot next and see how that helps me. If I have no luck I shall try hypnotherapy next.
Unfortunately anxiety runs in my family and I grew up with a father whose always suffered from it for a good 16/17 years however we didn't have a good relationship. So I'm very thankful I have with my mother.
I'm now 24 and only now starting to try and face my problems and look for help...
I also believe a lot of my problems lie within my past with being a victim of severe bullying, verbal abuse, no confidence or self esteem, witnessing a friend's death etc... The list goes on. However I do not hold any grudges from my past but I do of course remember pretty much everything...
Sorry for the lengthy message. I hope you're well and are having a nice day.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-28-2016, 12:19 PM
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It's a great post but I'm sorry that I didn't read your hopelessness state & i guess may be I should have coz right now I'm focusing on my anxiety but I'll still tell you , I know that u are right here but still it's a disease ? wtf ? idc. i have SA not coz of something else(Schizotypal) but I've seen many threads like this/ I'm gonna read the rest of your portion,,,,,,,,,,,, Yeah so you placed all the problems, k . but with an answer why ? which is still a question ?

I'm sorry I'm not gonna say more,,,,,,,,,,

The only love affair I have ever had was with music.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2016, 10:36 PM
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I've definitely been noticing the first part of "hopelessness" but I've found that having some of that stubbornness and convincing yourself that no matter what you can overcome the problem and aiming to make each interaction better than the last helps my self-esteem, even when I totally bomb and stutter through a series of umms. I still get the thoughts of "this isn't how I should be" because I've seen myself succeed socially, but that's the motivation. Yes, it points out to you that something is wrong, but it also points that you can make things right. I think the beginning to hopelessness can also be the beginning to success, it's just how you treat the failure that determines whether you reinforce the anxiety or the "I can do this better than the last time"
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2016, 11:51 PM
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Thats great


Quote:
Originally Posted by man143 View Post
This may sound strange to you but the title is correct. There actually is a mechanism to how this social anxiety keeps its hold over you. This is not an unexplainable phenomenon but a process which involves the presence of some common factors among all the affectees of Social Anxiety.

I will start with the definition of anxiety. It is a painful uneasiness of mind, accompanied by body symptoms. People have different type of anxiety depending upon the stimulus that triggers anxiety. Social anxiety is that anxiety which is felt when you are around people. This means you are uneasy when you are with people, with even one person. Its degree varies depending upon the kind of person and your mental state. So what is that keeps you in social anxiety? Well, the answer is YOU. You are keeping yourself in social anxiety. Please just donít end reading here and give me a chance to explain this a little.

First stage, difficulty to perform:-
Why do you feel anxious? Why do you feel fearful in other people? I donít want to go into details because that is not the subject. In short, you feel fear from people, most common fears being fear of being judged and fear of embarrassment and fear that you have anxiety and you will not be able to hide it.

Due to this fear you are not focused on the conversation, on the situation either. You are too focused on yourself, on your feelings. Why do I feel that way, what is happening to me, what should I say to this guy, what if I said this and he/she does not like it. These are some of your thoughts when you are in public/ social situations. Now how on earth you can be able to enjoy your talk or the occasion if you are so much focused on yourself? So the simple fact is that ĎI donít have anything to say or anything interesting to say because I am not focusedí.

Stage 2: Expecting the Negative
Now when the situation ends which is say a party. Well people might have enjoyed it, had a lot of fun, some would have tried to talk to you and you wouldnít be able to respond as well as you wanted. Or you were not able to even talk to anyone because you are worried, you were anxious and you were not focused. But it doesnít end here. Now after the situation, you have started beating yourself up. Why didnít I say this, why didnít I do that. Why canít I enjoy in people. Everyone would be thinking what a person he/she is who doesnít have anything to say at all. So this beating up continued until you are convinced that you are no good in other people.

The next time the social situation occurs. You are mentally convinced that you will not be able to do well in people. You will have anxiety, you wonít have much interesting to say. People are not gonna like you and bla bla blas. This negative expectation, which we call anticipatory anxiety, that occurs before the particular situation is basically you, reinforcing the anxiety. And when you are in that situation, again you are not focused, you know that you cant talk well in other people. People are not gonna like you. So you have added something more negative and again you will not be able to participate as well as others would have been doing because you are not there mentally.

Now this cycle continues, you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and not doing well makes you more anxious. Now you start avoiding situations, you started expecting things to be negative, you start expecting your life will remain negative. Your self esteem is badly shaken. You start worrying about others, about situations in life and your ability to deal with problems. Small problems start bothering you more. Why did he say this to me? Nobody cares for me or understands me. I have no worth. The more you worry the more negative chemicals you release in your body which cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing of heart, stomach problems, difficulty to sleep etc.

So this is all we experience in social anxiety. But I want to take a look at how it started. It starts with negative thoughts and feelings. And the more you listen to these negative thoughts the more you move into this cycle, vicious circle of social anxiety which is you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and you are anxious because you donít do well in social situations.

Stage 3: Hopelessness:-
The third stage ĎHopelessnessí arises because our mind can not stay idle when this happens. You automatically try to do something to tackle with the situation. But what you do start fighting yourself. You start using anger. I am going to overcome this problem today. I am going to face this situation no matter what happens. And you face the situation with anger but nothing happens. You are dumb, blank in people. Now you start insisting. I shouldnít feel this way. I should be able to talk with others, to enjoy why why why? You again face the situation but the result is same. Finally, you start bemoaning. What have I done to deserve this fate. I am a good person. I have never thought bad about people. Why I am being punished. Now you feel hopeless and find no use in trying to face your fears. I have tried everything but nothing works. In this stage your physical symptoms become more severe and normally before you are aware you are in these three stages.

So that is how you keep yourself in social anxiety. The most important thing is that the more you worry on your problems, the worse it gets. So first stage is not to worry too much about your problems. If you donít have much friends, so what. If you feel anxious in people, so what? If you have stomach problems, so what? This is not a life or death situation. Remember, woyrying about your problems, fighting with yourself is adding gasoline to the fire which will only worsen it. That is why if someone praises you, you feel good. If someone makes you feel that you have done a good job, you feel good. Because you are not worrying. So if you donít do anything and just stop worrying about these problems, your miseries, you are breaking this cycle and this will help a little. However, there is a proper way to deal with your problems i.e. change your thinking and behavior, slowly which I will explain in my next post.

I already know all of this. The fact that I know this doesn't help. It's easy to say "so what" and try not to worry about it. But when you're in the situation and you're put on the spot it's a whole different story.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-12-2018, 04:52 AM
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Great post!!!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by man143 View Post
This may sound strange to you but the title is correct. There actually is a mechanism to how this social anxiety keeps its hold over you. This is not an unexplainable phenomenon but a process which involves the presence of some common factors among all the affectees of Social Anxiety.

I will start with the definition of anxiety. It is a painful uneasiness of mind, accompanied by body symptoms. People have different type of anxiety depending upon the stimulus that triggers anxiety. Social anxiety is that anxiety which is felt when you are around people. This means you are uneasy when you are with people, with even one person. Its degree varies depending upon the kind of person and your mental state. So what is that keeps you in social anxiety? Well, the answer is YOU. You are keeping yourself in social anxiety. Please just donít end reading here and give me a chance to explain this a little. <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

First stage, difficulty to perform:-
Why do you feel anxious? Why do you feel fearful in other people? I donít want to go into details because that is not the subject. In short, you feel fear from people, most common fears being fear of being judged and fear of embarrassment and fear that you have anxiety and you will not be able to hide it.

Due to this fear you are not focused on the conversation, on the situation either. You are too focused on yourself, on your feelings. Why do I feel that way, what is happening to me, what should I say to this guy, what if I said this and he/she does not like it. These are some of your thoughts when you are in public/ social situations. Now how on earth you can be able to enjoy your talk or the occasion if you are so much focused on yourself? So the simple fact is that ĎI donít have anything to say or anything interesting to say because I am not focusedí.

Stage 2: Expecting the Negative
Now when the situation ends which is say a party. Well people might have enjoyed it, had a lot of fun, some would have tried to talk to you and you wouldnít be able to respond as well as you wanted. Or you were not able to even talk to anyone because you are worried, you were anxious and you were not focused. But it doesnít end here. Now after the situation, you have started beating yourself up. Why didnít I say this, why didnít I do that. Why canít I enjoy in people. Everyone would be thinking what a person he/she is who doesnít have anything to say at all. So this beating up continued until you are convinced that you are no good in other people.

The next time the social situation occurs. You are mentally convinced that you will not be able to do well in people. You will have anxiety, you wonít have much interesting to say. People are not gonna like you and bla bla blas. This negative expectation, which we call anticipatory anxiety, that occurs before the particular situation is basically you, reinforcing the anxiety. And when you are in that situation, again you are not focused, you know that you cant talk well in other people. People are not gonna like you. So you have added something more negative and again you will not be able to participate as well as others would have been doing because you are not there mentally.

Now this cycle continues, you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and not doing well makes you more anxious. Now you start avoiding situations, you started expecting things to be negative, you start expecting your life will remain negative. Your self esteem is badly shaken. You start worrying about others, about situations in life and your ability to deal with problems. Small problems start bothering you more. Why did he say this to me? Nobody cares for me or understands me. I have no worth. The more you worry the more negative chemicals you release in your body which cause physical symptoms like sweating, racing of heart, stomach problems, difficulty to sleep etc.

So this is all we experience in social anxiety. But I want to take a look at how it started. It starts with negative thoughts and feelings. And the more you listen to these negative thoughts the more you move into this cycle, vicious circle of social anxiety which is you donít do well in social situations because you are anxious and you are anxious because you donít do well in social situations.

Stage 3: Hopelessness:-
The third stage ĎHopelessnessí arises because our mind can not stay idle when this happens. You automatically try to do something to tackle with the situation. But what you do start fighting yourself. You start using anger. I am going to overcome this problem today. I am going to face this situation no matter what happens. And you face the situation with anger but nothing happens. You are dumb, blank in people. Now you start insisting. I shouldnít feel this way. I should be able to talk with others, to enjoy why why why? You again face the situation but the result is same. Finally, you start bemoaning. What have I done to deserve this fate. I am a good person. I have never thought bad about people. Why I am being punished. Now you feel hopeless and find no use in trying to face your fears. I have tried everything but nothing works. In this stage your physical symptoms become more severe and normally before you are aware you are in these three stages.

So that is how you keep yourself in social anxiety. The most important thing is that the more you worry on your problems, the worse it gets. So first stage is not to worry too much about your problems. If you donít have much friends, so what. If you feel anxious in people, so what? If you have stomach problems, so what? This is not a life or death situation. Remember, woyrying about your problems, fighting with yourself is adding gasoline to the fire which will only worsen it. That is why if someone praises you, you feel good. If someone makes you feel that you have done a good job, you feel good. Because you are not worrying. So if you donít do anything and just stop worrying about these problems, your miseries, you are breaking this cycle and this will help a little. However, there is a proper way to deal with your problems i.e. change your thinking and behavior, slowly which I will explain in my next post.
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