How do you feel among family? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
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How do you feel among family?


Both direct family (father/mother/sister/brother) and distant family like cousins ,uncles and aunts ?

For some reason my SA is at it's highest during such encounters. Only during family gatherings do I tremble and choke. I'm doing "fine" with strangers as long as don't start asking personal questions.

I really don't feel at easy with family while they should be the people you know the best and judge the least . I would tell a total stranger about my feelings and how anxious I am about this or that but I cannot do this with family.

In fact I just don't talk at all during family parties, except to the person who sits next to me. It got gradually worse and worse when the family got bigger with cousins and nieces marrying.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:05 PM
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It depends - usually I am OK but I do get anxious if all the attention is on me and I have to explain something to all of them or something like that. If I'm the center of attention. I've never been good at that. Sometimes my voice will get a little shaky. I do tremble and sometimes choke (because I seem to run out if air) when on conference calls for work but not usually in other situations. I'm usually OK around strangers / coworkers if its a group but get kind of awkward if its one on one.

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
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It depends - usually I am OK but I do get anxious if all the attention is on me and I have to explain something to all of them or something like that. If I'm the center of attention. I've never been good at that. Sometimes my voice will get a little shaky. I do tremble and sometimes choke (because I seem to run out if air) when on conference calls for work but not usually in other situations. I'm usually OK around strangers / coworkers if its a group but get kind of awkward if its one on one.
Yeah that's terrible, when I notice there is someone else listening to what I have to say in a one on one convo I choke. I'm really good with one other person but 2 is a crowd.It feels as if those eyes burn right through my skin and they can feel every emotion I feel.
Whenever I perceive a person as superior to me I choke, which is very often btw.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:19 PM
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Yeah that's terrible, when I notice there is someone else listening to what I have to say in a one on one convo I choke. I'm really good with one other person but 2 is a crowd.It feels as if those eyes burn right through my skin and they can feel every emotion I feel.
Whenever I perceive a person as superior to me I choke, which is very often btw.

I've heard a lot of people say this but I'm the opposite - I'm better in a crowd if its free flowing, like when I'm not the single focus of everyone's attention. Because it's almost like I'm not talking to any one person, but to the whole group. And the group isn't a person. It's like I'm just saying things, not to anyone in particular. The worst is one on one, because then there is a lot of pressure to carry the conversation and its a more intimate discussion. I hate one on one. Almost as bad is a group where you are addressing them all and everyone is quietly listening to you. It's basically like one on one but with a group of people.

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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 01:27 PM
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I don't talk to anyone outside my immediate family. I often forget how many children my cousins have. I have vague recollections of some names, but not who is who's child, lol.

Don't go to weddings or funerals either.

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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-26-2020, 06:03 PM
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When, I'm Negative, I Hate Them. And, I know, i'm better off without them.

I still have love for them, just, i need that space.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-27-2020, 04:33 AM
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My family is the biggest trigger for me. That is why I prefer to meet with them very rarely. It's like a test for me. There are no close people for me.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-27-2020, 07:22 AM
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im very shy around extended family......i can hardly string a sentence togeter.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-28-2020, 06:31 PM
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I am anxious around my dad and his side of the family.

They are dysfunctional.

I'm anxious around my cousins. They treat me like a freak. Only one of my cousin is nice.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-28-2020, 08:18 PM
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You're not alone. I get a lot of anxiety around my family. There probably isn't anyone who gives me more anxiety than my dad. I generally have to see them once a month, sometimes twice, and I get no sleep the night before. When I'm with them I feel like I'm going to throw up my anxiety is so bad. I'd avoid my family if I could, but that's not really an option. I've never gotten out of a family function. Nothing short of death would do it, lol.

I always envied people that felt comfortable around their family. For me, family is just another problem I have to deal with, like depression or anxiety. Not the fault of anyone in my family, though. It's just me.

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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 10-29-2020, 01:06 AM
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Immediate family just makes me feel like I've been replaced by a holographic projector of myself from 20 years ago. They don't see or hear me, and there's no point trying to make them. Just get through the occasional few hours on autopilot as they talk about their usual subjects.

Extended family creates more anxiety and I've never really talked to my cousins. When around extended family, I just stick with immediate family who are also there.

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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 11:02 AM
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i know how you feel.....im totlaly unable to relate to extended family.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 11:17 AM
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Well I'm doing my best to hold up the long family tradition of mental illness & alcoholism, but unfortunately I don't really measure up in either, I'm much too docile 😞






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 03:40 PM
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Well I'm doing my best to hold up the long family tradition of mental illness & alcoholism, but unfortunately I don't really measure up in either, I'm much too docile 😞
Well, I'm proud of you blue2

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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 06:30 PM
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Well, I'm proud of you blue2






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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