How Do Stop Being Anxious About One Specific Person?
So here's a specific problem I struggle with.
Sometimes when I like someone and place value on their perspective and opinion of me......I then get anxiety around that person or any time I know I'm about to be around that person. Sometimes I get anxiety thinking '' what if I bump into that person ''.
Here's an example: When I was in high school, I liked this girl. She was in some of my classes. Initially I was excited whenever I had a class with her, because that would be an opportunity to see and interact with her.....but soon anxiety took over. And then I became anxious anticipating when I'd see her because I reached this state of mind - " Ok she has a good impression of me now....DON'T MESS THIS UP! ''.
And after I reached that state of mind, I actually got excited whenever she didn't turn up to school because I thought '' Phew I can relax now! '' (She used to skip school a lot). But whenever I was in a class with her, all I could think of was '' Don't make a bad impression! Stay calm, act normal ''
I don't think this is how most people go about this predicament. Most people would only get excited about whenever they'd see their crush because that would be an opportunity to talk......not the other way around.
I have this huge fear of potentially creeping people out. Which I why I struggle with things like eye contact. I can make eye contact, but I think all sorts of other things like '' how much is too much eye contact and how much is too little? '' So I keep making and breaking eye contact awkwardly because I don't know how to do it naturally. And I'm afraid of creeping the other person out.
So whenever I was in a class with that girl, I kept stressing over stuff like this. Of how I'm coming across to her. '' Am I acting weird or normal? ''. The anxiety came from the fact that I have already established a good impression on her, and now its my job to not ruin it.
And this is what happens every time I start valuing anyone's opinion of me. It doesn't have to be a crush. But it can be anyone. It's awful. Any time I become friendly with someone, instead of talking to them more, I get anxious about them and worry about not acting weird/creepy around them.
How do you get over this?