How did you get a job with SA? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 07:10 PM Thread Starter
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How did you get a job with SA?


I'm having a very hard time finding a job. Applying for a job is easy. Going up to the place and talking to someone about my application, "networking," or getting through an interview, is very hard. I tend to mess it up every time, and my anxiety is very physical and tends to manifest in my facial expressions--very hard for to me smile or to make eye contact, which also intensifies my anxiety. How did you find a job? Did you already have connections that helped? Did you just keep applying until you got "lucky?" Or, despite having SA, are you good at talking to people/masking?

This has been the worst and loneliest time in my life yet. Somehow, I feel like nothing I think, say, feel, or do will matter to anyone until I get a job--like I can't resume being human until I get a job. I'm trying to keep myself sane, but it's hard. I'm going to have my first student loan payment in a few months, and I'm terrified that my parents will have to pay or that I'll default on my student loans. I wish I wasn't encouraged to go to college, or that I had been pushed into a part time job while I was going to college. I've always just done things one thing at a time in life and now that seems to be leading to my downfall. Currently, I feel like I have a 33,000 dollar piece paper with very few actual job opportunities because of SA and because of a lack of previous work experience.

Going into college with SA, no confidence, no social skills, no real dreams or goals, was an absolutely terrible idea.

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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 07:21 PM
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temp agency many times

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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 01:37 AM
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I only ever passed one interview. I think my boss was just desperate for people because it was a very physically demanding job. Most was through temp agency and one was seasonal. I've gone through tons of fast food interviews with no luck.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 01:44 AM
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I only ever did one interview which nerves made me bomb miserably never passed an interview have little education, I know my ABC's & can count to 10

I got my first job which was a quite hard menial manual labour job through a friend of my mother, which I stayed at for 10 years turning to full time in the last 4 years, just went with it from there to slightly better paying jobs.






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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 07:51 AM
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Just had to curb my shaking body and trembling voice. I'm pretty decent at that, but for example when I was drafted to the military and doing the tests and interview, I was shaking and having cold sweats the entire day and I couldn't hide it whatsoever
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 11:00 AM
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Depends on the type of job...you don’t have to sell yourself much to acquire generic retail or warehouse jobs for example but I’d never pass any interview for any type of corporate/office job even if I had the required education, my anxiety would always win out and they would choose the more confident accredited applicant
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 01:22 PM
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all was perm


graduate
flyer
apprenticeship!
engineering
travel international!
1998
hardhat!

6 of us. three company cars used.

eventually they chose 1 girl.
us gone

next
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Oracle
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leaving mighty corporate telco provider offering public broadband, in my new home 2001 (free service)

then 4 years on to another telco
founding another indy telco... fell short of sales,not my fault

then blossoming career after all experience
32 jobs total

but agencies fossilise us. compounded to leave us ignored. one day lost = future lost.

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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 01:30 PM
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The more I interviewed the better I got at it, some interviewers understand that people get nervous and overlook it to some degree. I've also gotten callbacks after being rejected because whichever extrovert they chose didn't work out and they need a quieter person afterall.. yup extroverts get chosen first but some people can be a problem on the other side of the scale.


You can also practice and rehearsh the main course of what you're going to say in the interview to be better prepared for it, you can record yourself to review how you did as well as simulate a bit of pressure - for me knowing I'm on camera makes me nervous. After x amount of practice and you know what to say and know you come across OK in the videos, you're going to have a bit more confidence going in, then after doing better in real interviews you'll feel more confident every time.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 06:55 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freedom00 View Post
The more I interviewed the better I got at it, some interviewers understand that people get nervous and overlook it to some degree. I've also gotten callbacks after being rejected because whichever extrovert they chose didn't work out and they need a quieter person afterall.. yup extroverts get chosen first but some people can be a problem on the other side of the scale.
I need to get better at learning from bad interviews. It's just very easy to get down about it, because each time I fail I feel like it confirms everything I hate about myself. Also need to record myself and practice at home like you said, but I get self conscious because my family is around most of the time, but maybe confronting that fear would itself be a step I need to take. Don't know why I'm so self conscious about everything.

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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 07:16 PM
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Been there


I honestly don't know how I've been able to get the work I do. I'm really banking on the idea that I've simply been getting really lucky. It might also be worth disclosing that both the people who I interviewed with (and later got jobs for) were fellow alumni. This kind of pushes the confirmation people seem to have that it's not what you know but who you know. I do put on an act and I attempt to mask my anxiety, but like you, I actually have a very showing tell. Forgetting to smile is one thing but I simply cannot hold normal conversation well enough. It's annoying.

I felt the same as you do in that nobody would take me seriously when I had zero experience in anything and that I had nothing special about myself. I didn't do anything outside of class and I didn't invest my time in volunteer work or career-related endeavors. At least, not in the outgoing sense of things. I've always felt like I've been catching up late when comparing myself to my peers. I'm always completing something last or achieving something after my peers. This also added to my anxiety and my doubts.

Needless to say, I pretty much still feel this way. I don't feel fulfilled at my current job, I still don't have a single friend, and I still haven't experienced probably 90% of what my peers have. I don't understand how the world works when it comes to being independent. I don't feel like I'm where I should be yet this is all I can manage.

I struggled with my sanity as well. I wanted to be able to do things but I couldn't. It's difficult when one has goals but not the means to achieve them. Worse when there's no clear line to guide you.

I wish I could give advice but I simply don't know what to say as my situation isn't really all that better than most. I can only wish you the best as you continue.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Don View Post
I'm having a very hard time finding a job. Applying for a job is easy. Going up to the place and talking to someone about my application, "networking," or getting through an interview, is very hard. I tend to mess it up every time, and my anxiety is very physical and tends to manifest in my facial expressions--very hard for to me smile or to make eye contact, which also intensifies my anxiety. How did you find a job? Did you already have connections that helped? Did you just keep applying until you got "lucky?" Or, despite having SA, are you good at talking to people/masking?
I just kept applying until I got lucky. 100-200 applications and probably 15 phone screenings and 10 actual interviews to get one crappy office job. I suck at interviews no matter how many I do. You do learn what the most asked questions are very quickly. And what questions interviewers will have related to what's on your resume. Usually they are just real keen on your prior job experience (since employers hate to train) and they want to make sure you are relatively normal and not a weirdo.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 08:08 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by That Random Guy View Post
I honestly don't know how I've been able to get the work I do. I'm really banking on the idea that I've simply been getting really lucky. It might also be worth disclosing that both the people who I interviewed with (and later got jobs for) were fellow alumni. This kind of pushes the confirmation people seem to have that it's not what you know but who you know. I do put on an act and I attempt to mask my anxiety, but like you, I actually have a very showing tell. Forgetting to smile is one thing but I simply cannot hold normal conversation well enough. It's annoying.

I felt the same as you do in that nobody would take me seriously when I had zero experience in anything and that I had nothing special about myself. I didn't do anything outside of class and I didn't invest my time in volunteer work or career-related endeavors. At least, not in the outgoing sense of things. I've always felt like I've been catching up late when comparing myself to my peers. I'm always completing something last or achieving something after my peers. This also added to my anxiety and my doubts.

Needless to say, I pretty much still feel this way. I don't feel fulfilled at my current job, I still don't have a single friend, and I still haven't experienced probably 90% of what my peers have. I don't understand how the world works when it comes to being independent. I don't feel like I'm where I should be yet this is all I can manage.

I struggled with my sanity as well. I wanted to be able to do things but I couldn't. It's difficult when one has goals but not the means to achieve them. Worse when there's no clear line to guide you.

I wish I could give advice but I simply don't know what to say as my situation isn't really all that better than most. I can only wish you the best as you continue.
I appreciate your story man. Hearing others speak about this means a lot to me. Having connections, like you said, seems to help a lot. A part of my problem is even if someone has a connection that could get me job, I'm afraid to take it because I'm afraid of letting people down. I feel like I easily mess up anything I do. But I don't really have many connections to take advantage of. Basically zero actually. Sometimes my parents will know someone who has position to fill, but there hasn't been anything like that since I've been out of college.

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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 10:09 PM
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I've volunteered this year and put in for over 50 jobs this year, but unfortunately the Supercomputers made the jobs rejected me. The position that I've volunteered for was secured at a Jewish community center in NYC from 9 AM to 2 PM, and there was volunteers who also was there with me for the position of security, but the longer I've stayed volunteering at the Jewish community the people begin to question me about my previous employment history. One of the female volunteers had begun to develop a personal issue with me volunteering for a certain time and she asked me to do her a favor impolitely, it's where she said to me "do you know where the fifth floor is at!!! go up there." This particular unusual behavior is one of the reasons why I got left back twice in school, because my teachers and classmates also would put me in situations where they can create a scene for people to recognize my actions, so they can provoke a behavior from me to get me suspended from school. My social anxiety started developing when people in my school started making me feel uncomfortable, where it made me not feel wanted and isolate myself from being around people, and my anxiety was very responsive with alerting me the outcome of the way people behave in upcoming situations towards me.

My first job was an online marketer for being self employed, where my niche deals with promoting video games for people to join my GPT sponsor. I had to write at least 10 - 20 blogs per day to create backlinks for my two websites, and every few weeks my two websites needed new content in order to rank on search engines. If the content didn't get updated once in a while the search engine bots will down rank my website, and it will fall behind other websites. The website made around $80 - $100 dollars per day due to being first rank for the keyword of my niche, but it was bringing in too much money that my sponsor administrator wanted me to take out the landing page that greeted people about the product they wanted to see. Few months past and my hosting website were complaining about my content, then before you know it the perfect content in the world ended up permanently banned from the hosting website for illegal content. It was that the content of my website pulled in too much viewers per day, where it causes enough attention for the hosting website employees to be concerned about their own site privacy. I thought about how the hosting website employees wrote to me, and the language pattern showed me they aren't thinking about my website as they first thought. Somebody beyond the website employees are making them think my websites are promoting illegal content, so they can find a reason for me to not have an income that not allow me to have a place to live in, because they dislike my ideas about how I write about humanity structure on a separate website. Before you know it my mother started complaining about my personal activities about me using my own computer, then shortly after my mom complain, people on the internet complain about the way I talk online as if they're admins or mods.

I've started working online in Kissimmee, Florida in 2013, but it ended in Spring 2015 when I started concentrating on sharing my ideas about humanity structure. I graduated high school in summer 2012, and search for job opportunities that are suitable for me.

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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-10-2019, 07:11 PM
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Definitely masking cause I was crazy nervous each time. Ive actually been having moments where Im talking to someone and for a brief moment I think...wait...hold up...this conversation felt very natural. So maybe "fake it till you make it" actually works
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-10-2019, 07:45 PM
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Eh, I just followed the usual path in my family: school -> undergrad -> grad -> work (I'm still at the grad stage, strictly speaking). I only had to actively look for a real job once; all other times it was just university applications and offers coming from the employer, without me looking specifically.

My SA made things harder, but I just pushed through, knowing that this is what I wanted. Eventually it became the norm, and I no longer worried about much.
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-11-2019, 10:20 AM
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I don't think my anxiety is that bad. I know how to make eye contact and tell people what they want to hear. Now my anxiety spikes if I have to do anything dealing with phones.

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-12-2019, 01:12 PM
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In my case lack of work experience trumps my anxiety. Employers no longer want to spend time or money training you these days and are quick to dismiss you if you lack experience.

Currently stuck in a dead-end Deep south rural state with limited job prospects. I'm seriously thinking of taking a gap year or two to go teach abroad and save up to learn a trade. I say this as a person with two degrees. Might as well just get into something that will take anyone with a pulse at this point.
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-14-2019, 05:45 PM
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Early on I did whatever jobs would take me. Often meant a ****ty work environment, though.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 08-15-2019, 12:40 PM
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Truthfully I don't know how I landed my first job I mean to tell you the truth my mind goes on like an autopilot mode. I will just say whatever comes to mind without thinking about. It's like I don't control what I am saying. I mean some seriously random stuff can come out of my mouth when my mind enters this autopilot mode (Also if wondering I don't remember what was said during this auto pilot mode until like a few hours later). So eh I am assuming when my mind entered the auto pilot mode I either said stuff the interviewer liked or I was hired based on the fact I applied multiple times.

My second job there was no job interview. I was just asked if I was available whenever & I said yeah then got told I got the job. So no chance for my autopilot mode to kick in.

Though I am now looking for a third job (My second job & still current job is completely terrible) & now I am having no luck.
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