How Are You With Eye Contact - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-20-2019, 07:05 PM
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if I want to make eye contact I do it. so I cant complain. maybe some people interpret my behaviour however they want. fine. this is just self expression. it's not something I need to change.

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post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-22-2019, 08:07 PM
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Not so good. I do either one of two things, look away as soon as I start talking or I stare so intensely while speaking that I make whoever I知 talking to uncomfortable. When I知 listening to someone, I handle eye contact well and don稚 look crazy. I知 not sure why I can稚 handle eye contact when I知 speaking.


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post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-22-2019, 08:35 PM
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I'm really bad with it. Sometimes it helps though. Directly looking at people makes you overcome the fear and makes talking easier.
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post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 04:13 PM
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It depends on who I am talking too (comfort and closeness level). It also depends on what's going on in the inside. How much I have slept helps and general health state. If I'm very hydrated, eaten well and slept well I've noticed my thought process feels natural and nourished which externalizes into quality communication.


But it's more complex than that for me.



Referring to what I said above about "what's going on in the inside". A simple example: Boss comes to see employee. Boss starts talking to employee. Employee's eye contact is a bit affected because they forgot to do an important procedure and they are wondering if boss is going to mention that. While boss is talking, employee's Central Nervous System is stimulated and so fear affects their thought process which further relays onto the quality of their eye contact as many thoughts/questions/concerns are running through their mind.


My personality type also has a big influence on eye contact. And that's just who I am. We're as unique as snowflakes.
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post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 06:16 PM
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Bad if I'm one on one with a stranger. I'm pretty avoidant to small talk, so I don't always put on a good impression. Depends on the person though.With family I'm much better, still not as much as I think is good enough as far as eye contact goes. I did work on it a while back and you can keep it going stronger but I always felt like that was being unnatural.

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post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 06:22 PM
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Actually great at eye contact cause I can force myself to act even if internally I'm completely dissociated. Body is present, mind so ****ing far away I may as well be on Jupiter. Is my frontal lobe online and able to process anything that's happening? Hell no. But will my outward appearance reflect that I'm listening and engaged? Abso-****ing-lutely. Thanks defense mechanisms! The same ones that make me pass so well that pple don't think I need help and am just making up my non stop terror. Just smile and nod. That's what I was taught to do cause no one actually cares who I am or how I feel, just make it look good so you won't be abused. Oh you like my act? Then I've succeeded even though I'm ****ing dead on the inside. Yay!

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-30-2019, 02:29 AM
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I can't make eye with people without feeling disgusted, knowing the people eye timing is out of sync. Look like someone evaluated when to make eye contact, before the people thoughts decided to act first.

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post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 10:23 PM
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I personally thinks it's pretty easy for me. I like knowing that they have their eyes on me when talking. I struggled with it when I was a kid but now it's honestly instinct. I've noticed people usually look away more when talking than me.

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post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 11:25 PM
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I'm from a city that treats eye contact like rape. I avoid it. I can make a conscious effort but it unnerves.
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post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 01:33 PM
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I’m can make eye contact when having a conversation with someone I know or have been introduced to but not with a stranger in the street.
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post #31 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 02:09 PM
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I look people directly in the face. Subconsciously, I知 probably analyzing their face as a whole. If someone asked me what their eye color was, I would likely not know.

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post #32 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-05-2019, 08:04 AM
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I've gotten better with it over the years, but I've always been poor at it imo. I'll either stare too much at whoever is speaking to me or not enough. Though that could just my anxiety speaking.

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post #33 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-05-2019, 04:50 PM
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I'm ok at it most of the time I think. But then sometimes I get uncomfortable, I don't know why. Maybe if I'm not very confident that day I'd rather not even look at people.
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post #34 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 03:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I look at people in the eye when I talk to them but most of them don't look at me and it's uncomfortable!!

People don't like looking at me. They always look so uncomfortable and put off.
I think people just have that uncomfortable face sometimes for their own reasons.
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post #35 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 09:31 PM
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I know its an area i struggle with. I can look ppl in the eye but only for a few seconds each time before they drift elsewhere, and return back to their eyes every so often when talking. Someone called me out on it friday in class. They pointed out that I'm nervous and have anxiety.

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post #36 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 06:33 PM
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It got so bad in high school I couldn't look people in the eyes at all and my head was constantly down in most of my classes, but I got slightly better since I started college. I still shift my eyes away alot when I talk with someone, due to my fear that I'll look for too long.



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post #37 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-28-2019, 04:54 PM
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post #38 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-29-2019, 07:00 AM
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Eye contact can make me feel like I'm sad and that I'm going to start crying. I'm not sure what it is, but I think it might feel either like I'm being told bad news or that they can read my mind, which makes me feel uncomfortable. It's always worse when I'm feeling nervous, even with family. Eye contact is easier with some people than others, but it's never "easy" - I have to keep looking away, and I try to cover my face up.

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post #39 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-29-2019, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Canadian Brotha View Post
Terrible, I look away a lot & I can tell it bothers people
It's pretty creepy how people feel like they have a right to force you to stare at their eyeballs.

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post #40 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-31-2019, 09:06 PM
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I look at them directly in the eyes. The problem with me is that a lot of time I think that maybe I'm making them uncortable by looking into their eyes. I usually look at people talking from far away and try to pick up some skills. They seem to keep constant eye contact, but when I keep eye contact the other person usually breaks it for a brief second. Idk if thats normal or im just overthinkig it.
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