How Are You With Eye Contact - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
Thread Tools
post #21 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-20-2019, 06:05 PM
alien monk
andy1984's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 7,537
if I want to make eye contact I do it. so I cant complain. maybe some people interpret my behaviour however they want. fine. this is just self expression. it's not something I need to change.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is online now  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-22-2019, 07:07 PM
SAS Member
Junebug1215's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 26
Not so good. I do either one of two things, look away as soon as I start talking or I stare so intensely while speaking that I make whoever I知 talking to uncomfortable. When I知 listening to someone, I handle eye contact well and don稚 look crazy. I知 not sure why I can稚 handle eye contact when I知 speaking.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We start with stars in our eyes
We start believing that we belong
But every sun doesn't rise
And no one tells you where you went wrong
Junebug1215 is offline  
post #23 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-22-2019, 07:35 PM
Duke Duck
Join Date: Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,417
My Mood: Relaxed
I'm really bad with it. Sometimes it helps though. Directly looking at people makes you overcome the fear and makes talking easier.
DukeDuck is offline  
post #24 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 03:13 PM
SAS Member
AbbasGreen's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Australia
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Posts: 123
It depends on who I am talking too (comfort and closeness level). It also depends on what's going on in the inside. How much I have slept helps and general health state. If I'm very hydrated, eaten well and slept well I've noticed my thought process feels natural and nourished which externalizes into quality communication.

But it's more complex than that for me.

Referring to what I said above about "what's going on in the inside". A simple example: Boss comes to see employee. Boss starts talking to employee. Employee's eye contact is a bit affected because they forgot to do an important procedure and they are wondering if boss is going to mention that. While boss is talking, employee's Central Nervous System is stimulated and so fear affects their thought process which further relays onto the quality of their eye contact as many thoughts/questions/concerns are running through their mind.

My personality type also has a big influence on eye contact. And that's just who I am. We're as unique as snowflakes.
AbbasGreen is offline  
post #25 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 05:16 PM
Musicfan's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,553
Bad if I'm one on one with a stranger. I'm pretty avoidant to small talk, so I don't always put on a good impression. Depends on the person though.With family I'm much better, still not as much as I think is good enough as far as eye contact goes. I did work on it a while back and you can keep it going stronger but I always felt like that was being unnatural.

Don't let people treat you like dirt.
Musicfan is offline  
post #26 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 05:22 PM
Ad astra per aspera.
SparklingWater's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,388
Actually great at eye contact cause I can force myself to act even if internally I'm completely dissociated. Body is present, mind so ****ing far away I may as well be on Jupiter. Is my frontal lobe online and able to process anything that's happening? Hell no. But will my outward appearance reflect that I'm listening and engaged? Abso-****ing-lutely. Thanks defense mechanisms! The same ones that make me pass so well that pple don't think I need help and am just making up my non stop terror. Just smile and nod. That's what I was taught to do cause no one actually cares who I am or how I feel, just make it look good so you won't be abused. Oh you like my act? Then I've succeeded even though I'm ****ing dead on the inside. Yay!

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
SparklingWater is offline  
post #27 of 49 (permalink) Old 09-30-2019, 01:29 AM
Socializing with myself
EmotionlessThug's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New York, Westbury.
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 4,806
I can't make eye with people without feeling disgusted, knowing the people eye timing is out of sync. Look like someone evaluated when to make eye contact, before the people thoughts decided to act first.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers governing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA Software Engineers & NASA computationally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events. Getting away with airplane crashes, accidents, diseases, homelessness, and suicides.
EmotionlessThug is offline  
post #28 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 09:23 PM
SAS Member
Rumplesty's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2019
Language: English
Gender: Female
Posts: 29
My Mood: Psychedelic
I personally thinks it's pretty easy for me. I like knowing that they have their eyes on me when talking. I struggled with it when I was a kid but now it's honestly instinct. I've noticed people usually look away more when talking than me.

She was very beautiful. Kind, but sad.
Rumplesty is offline  
post #29 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 10:25 PM
SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Rainforest <-> Tundra
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,218
My Mood: Bored
I'm from a city that treats eye contact like rape. I avoid it. I can make a conscious effort but it unnerves.
leaf in the wind is offline  
post #30 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 12:33 PM
SAS Member
Greenmacaron's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: UK
Gender: Female
Posts: 133
My Mood: Inspired
I’m can make eye contact when having a conversation with someone I know or have been introduced to but not with a stranger in the street.
Greenmacaron is offline  
post #31 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 01:09 PM
Dog of Wonder
UnderdogWins's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Phone Booth
Gender: Male
Posts: 242
I look people directly in the face. Subconsciously, I知 probably analyzing their face as a whole. If someone asked me what their eye color was, I would likely not know.

"There's No Need To Fear Underdog Is Here!"
(Underdog theme song)
UnderdogWins is offline  
post #32 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-05-2019, 07:04 AM
Half agony, half hope.
PandaBearx's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Posts: 2,727
I've gotten better with it over the years, but I've always been poor at it imo. I'll either stare too much at whoever is speaking to me or not enough. Though that could just my anxiety speaking.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
PandaBearx is offline  
post #33 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-05-2019, 03:50 PM
YAS Member
caelle's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: SoCali
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,805
I'm ok at it most of the time I think. But then sometimes I get uncomfortable, I don't know why. Maybe if I'm not very confident that day I'd rather not even look at people.
caelle is offline  
post #34 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 02:46 PM
with a white shirt
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Cali
Language: English and some spanish
Gender: Male
Posts: 76
My Mood: Doh
Originally Posted by melancholyscorpio View Post
I look at people in the eye when I talk to them but most of them don't look at me and it's uncomfortable!!

People don't like looking at me. They always look so uncomfortable and put off.
I think people just have that uncomfortable face sometimes for their own reasons.
White Shirt Guy is offline  
post #35 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 08:31 PM
SAS Member
flykiwi's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: AZ(US)
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Posts: 446
My Mood: Pensive
I know its an area i struggle with. I can look ppl in the eye but only for a few seconds each time before they drift elsewhere, and return back to their eyes every so often when talking. Someone called me out on it friday in class. They pointed out that I'm nervous and have anxiety.

He who is unable to live in society,
or who has no need because he is sufficient
for himself, must either be a beast or a god.
flykiwi is offline  
post #36 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 05:33 PM
Permanently tired
AffinityWing's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 1,875
My Mood: Tired
It got so bad in high school I couldn't look people in the eyes at all and my head was constantly down in most of my classes, but I got slightly better since I started college. I still shift my eyes away alot when I talk with someone, due to my fear that I'll look for too long.

"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."

"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."

AffinityWing is online now  
post #37 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-28-2019, 03:54 PM
Born Of Blotmona
Canadian Brotha's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Over Yonder
Language: South Martian, North Terran, & Lunarian
Age: 32
Posts: 18,290
My Mood: Cynical
Canadian Brotha is offline  
post #38 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-29-2019, 06:00 AM
❤️ Moderator ❤️
Silent Memory's Avatar
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 7,417
Eye contact can make me feel like I'm sad and that I'm going to start crying. I'm not sure what it is, but I think it might feel either like I'm being told bad news or that they can read my mind, which makes me feel uncomfortable. It's always worse when I'm feeling nervous, even with family. Eye contact is easier with some people than others, but it's never "easy" - I have to keep looking away, and I try to cover my face up.

Silent Memory is online now  
post #39 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-29-2019, 09:28 AM
Not A Low Calorie Food
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 30,414
My Mood: Relaxed
Originally Posted by Canadian Brotha View Post
Terrible, I look away a lot & I can tell it bothers people
It's pretty creepy how people feel like they have a right to force you to stare at their eyeballs.

WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #40 of 49 (permalink) Old 10-31-2019, 08:06 PM
SAS Member
2Milk's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Searching...
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 5,613
My Mood: Bored
I look at them directly in the eyes. The problem with me is that a lot of time I think that maybe I'm making them uncortable by looking into their eyes. I usually look at people talking from far away and try to pick up some skills. They seem to keep constant eye contact, but when I keep eye contact the other person usually breaks it for a brief second. Idk if thats normal or im just overthinkig it.
2Milk is offline  

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome