Hey guys, my name is Dave and I've suffered from Social Anxiety. Notice I used the word suffered? Let me explain my story, and perhaps some of you too can relate and hopefully overcome this disorder.
Growing up, I personally had a number of issues that I was self-concious about. I am still concerned about some of them, but the road has become much easier. My problems were (are) as follows:
- I was obese.
I have a missing front tooth.
I have a small penis.
I suffer from premature ejaculation (double whammy, I know).
Now I realize that some of you are probably thinking to yourselves "he didn't just say that, did he?" I did. You want to know why? Because I'm comfortable with it. I've learned to live with it. I've learned to live with it because I'm exaggerating my problems, as I'm sure most of you are as well. The conflict lies in coming to realize that. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll realize that you don't have SA.
I was obese (until recent years) and had an older brother that would torment me with words such as "fatass" and the like. On top of that, no girls ever liked me.
What did I do about it? Nothing- I played videogames to escape from my false reality. Some turn to drugs- Some to alcohol- I played videogames. They never judged me.
When I was eight years old, I went outside with my brother and a golf club to hit rocks. I stood close behind my brother on one of his swings, he swung back and knocked my front tooth out as well as cut a slice of my lip. Unfortunately being poor has it huge disadvantages, so I never got proper dental treatment. Bam, I'm still toothless until now (which I might add has actually gotten worse because of my teeth shifting).
Now on to the ackward situation. Do the math- Obese kid+no girlfriend=porn. Lots and lots of porn. What did that do to me? Well, seeing well-endowed guys have sexual intercourse with beautiful women made me believe that my average-sized penis was small. Sure, we (males) would probably feel better with a massive pecker, but when you come to realize that it's about quality and not quantity in sex, you'll find that penis size is (for the most part) irrelevant. I'm sure the ladies will vouch for me on this one.
As for my PE problem- Well, I've only had sex once, so I can't really confirm if this problem even exists but I will say that even if I ejaculate quickly, I'm proud to say that I have an high sex drive- Meaning I can entertain the ladies all night (pm me if you're female and live in the Los Angeles area
We all have our high days (where we feel comfortable sharing our deepest secrets) and we all have our low days (just staying in and being by yourself).
I realize that some of you may have a more difficult time dealing with this issue than others. As a result, you become mad at yourself. You'll find yourself asking:
- "Why can't I be more social?"
"What do people think of me?"
"Why do I feel shy or embarassed in social situations?"
"Why can't I get a relationship?"
The list goes on.
The point is, we all need to learn to laugh at ourselves when we can. To avoid making bumps appear as mountains. To realize that we as humans are all on this journey here together.
What did I do to overcome social anxiety disorder?
I found a new hobby- I LOVE working out at the gym. I decided to start taking risks and being more honest.
Just today for example, I decided to be up front with my brother about something I would normally find awkward sharing with anyone. A few nights ago, I was sitting in my chair looking up something to do with god. As I sat in my chair, I tried to envision what the website was suggesting. Suprisingly, I felt like my body was shaking- My heart rate sped up and I felt like the room was spinning. As I closed my eyes, I saw Eddie (the mascot from Iron Maiden and a bunch of other demons). It was a weird religious experience to say the least. Anyway, I told my brother about this and how I didn't feel too comfortable sharing it with him when it happened. His response was totally the opposite of what I expected. I thought he would laugh and call me retard. Instead, he laughed and called me retard for not feeling comfortable sharing such an experience. It was an eye-opener that you, under no circumstance should build a flawed belief in how people view you.
Another example today-
There is this cute Japanese girl in my English class. She asked me to meet up with her at lunch and read her essay. Normally, I'd run to my car and give her some BS excuse about finals later(which would have been a strong, valid excuse). I forced myself to go. I've never had an easy time talking with girls or strangers, but I somehow managed. Now I have a date set with her (that I actually look forward to) sometime this weekend.
Damn, I have a whole list of stories now that I think about all of this. I think I've gone on far enough with promoting myself though.
I know a biggie that most of us have is the dreaded "ackward silence." Can't keep a conversation going, eh? Neither could I. I felt as if I simply didn't care what others thought, or that others didn't care what I though. Wrong!
You can actually keep a conversation going. Just find something dear at heart. Something you can relate to with the other person. Easier said than done, right? Not really. I'll post up a few things a little later on this very subject.
Sorry for the long read, but I was browsing through the other sections and read some of your posts in the "depressed section." It put me in such a crappy mood, I just had to start writing this thread.
I'll add a whole list of advice, as well as help anyone out who needs advice with anything ranging from social anxiety to telling me how your day was to how you should handle a situation to even a simple math problem. I'm a cool guy and I would love to meet some of you or help you out over PM. Message me if you want to talk.
Anyway, it's 1:26 am and I have work tomorrow (today). You all have a good night/day.