1) I think she asked me to tell her why I was there and then what my history with SA was.
2) She asked about any previous attempts to deal with SA, my family life, my relationships, what situations make me especially anxious
3) CBT / group therapy (I had specifically asked that meds be a last resort)
4) Yes, I made a list of things I wanted to talk about since I was afraid I'd be too anxious in the moment to remember them. It turned out to be very helpful, though I didn't need to look at the list since just writing it out helped me remember.
5) Eh, the diagnosis game is kind of secondary. It's better to talk about concrete experiences. So "I feel anxious when...," rather than "My SA/AvPD is really bad when..." But that reflects a few ideas from acceptance & commitment therapy that I've found really helpful.
7) If s/he doesn't give you homework, ask for some. Ask for recommendations about things you can read to understand anxiety better. Take notes as you read it and maybe jot down some thoughts you had. Come prepared to talk about how you felt it was or was not applicable to you. Same for your homework assignments: take notes about how you're feeling and what you're thinking immediately after you complete them.
"When I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." - Carl Rogers