but i think its also worth asking yourself if you Want to socialise. maybe you dont really want to and thats why its harder, on top of other things
This is an important aspect to consider. Very important if you ask me.
Once I ended my SA, I came to see that I don't actually get much out of being with people.
I came to see that I was trying to force myself into having social contact, because like almost everyone else, I had been been taught/conditioned that "all people are social", and that I needed to have people in my life, when this is not true for everyone, or true in the same way.
In forcing myself to be social, the SA would flare up (and also prior to all social situations) and the pain and discomfort (even trauma) that I would experience was made all the worse because I believed "I had to do it" and yet, I couldn't stand it, at all. I was in a vicious circle and I had no idea why all this was happening.
Yes, some people are social but some are not. There is no proper survey or research that has ever been carried out on this and none will ever be carried out either (because there is a huge vested interest in having everyone together/as a group, as much as possible).
Sociability seems to be on a continuum (like a lot of human things) and there seems to be a large amount of variability, nuances and also, "things are not how they seems to be".
Some people who appear to be social, may not be so all the time, or in the same way all the time, or with the same people, situations, etc. Because our perception is from observation, we do not actually know how other people feel about socializing or what they are really like when they are not with or near us. There is a lot we don't know, but we think we do.