Had SA Around New Friends...Might Have Ruined It. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-11-2020, 10:05 AM Thread Starter
A Person
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Had SA Around New Friends...Might Have Ruined It.

So yesterday I went on a road trip with some friends that I am new to hanging out with.

I like these people but they're new to me and it takes me years to build up confidence and trust with people. I didn't know what a social anxiety mess I would be in hanging out with them all day. My stomach was in a knot, and I just felt like I didn't know what to say and my mind went blank when they were talking and i just didnt know what to say....So, I barely said anything the entire day and I feel like such a socially anxious loser

It's so annoying because the real me isn't like that at all. I had loads of conversation topics in my head before meeting them but I lose them all when I got in the car.

Today, I feel really depressed. Really sad about my poor social performance yesterday. We're meant to be meeting again in a few weeks. I hope that I can change their perspective of me to them next time. Because, that's not me I can actually be a fun and talkative person if I'm confident around them. I feel like I ruined it

It just sucks having social anxiety.

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-11-2020, 11:11 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California Republic
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Age: 40
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Congrats! You achieved something I've dreamed of but never achieved in my entire life, going on a road trip with a group of friends. And they want to hang out with you again. Try not to focus on the sliver of negative in it.

Play The Social Anxiety Game

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-12-2020, 02:58 PM
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Yeah look at it from the bright side. Next time don't try to think about topics to talk about, just let conversations flow naturally, hop in with whatever they come up with and build confidence. It is not an interview you're supposed to be relaxed.

Besides this the only thing you ruined on that roadtrip is your own image of yourself. Don't let SA fool you it is your mind (that little devil) that convinces you you performed badly. Reality will show you you did well, you'll see.
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