First job ever - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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First job ever


I had a really bad day today. My anxiety is getting worse. One of the ladies from HR even asked me if I was okay because, apparently she could see my heart beating fast (I thought I was doing fine, I thought I sounded fine while speaking to her, I guess not). One of the ladies at my department even said "you don't talk much do you?" All these things make it very hard for me. I cried when I got home, because I don't know if I'm going to cope, not only with the work but, being social with colleagues. I can't be normal around people, it seems as though I have no personality and sense of excitement for anything.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Lisa1 View Post
I had a really bad day today. My anxiety is getting worse. One of the ladies from HR even asked me if I was okay because, apparently she could see my heart beating fast (I thought I was doing fine, I thought I sounded fine while speaking to her, I guess not). One of the ladies at my department even said "you don't talk much do you?" All these things make it very hard for me. I cried when I got home, because I don't know if I'm going to cope, not only with the work but, being social with colleagues. I can't be normal around people, it seems as though I have no personality and sense of excitement for anything.
I get similar comments at my place of work and really most of my life. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't assume those people are saying something's wrong with the way you're acting when they comment about you being quiet. It's a little silly however whenever people make those comments to see if it'll make you talk more, it certainly has the opposite effect on me and causes me to shut down. I don't think there's anything wrong with being quiet.

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-18-2020, 02:43 PM
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Me too I don't talk much, I'm quiet, and I don't get excited 🙄

I'll always be told this. It sucks.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-20-2020, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Lisa1 View Post
I had a really bad day today. My anxiety is getting worse. One of the ladies from HR even asked me if I was okay because, apparently she could see my heart beating fast (I thought I was doing fine, I thought I sounded fine while speaking to her, I guess not). One of the ladies at my department even said "you don't talk much do you?" All these things make it very hard for me. I cried when I got home, because I don't know if I'm going to cope, not only with the work but, being social with colleagues. I can't be normal around people, it seems as though I have no personality and sense of excitement for anything.
Look at it this way. Some of the anxiety is a form of excitement.

Don't mind those people. The "You dont talk much, do you?" bull**** is something that periodically comes out of normies' mouths. In their normie language, it means they are welcoming you and inviting you to talk. But yeah, it is a cumbersome phrase.

It is hard at first. We have to accept some discomfort in order to cope and then get better. Since it is your first job, you are unsure and underestimating yourself. The work will probably have a straight forward learning curve. Socializing is tricky, especially with social anxiety, but doable.

You will be fine.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-20-2020, 06:11 PM
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Well first off you did a great thing in getting a job. That can be tough. What type of job is it?

First day of work is always tough. Dont know what is going on and dont know anybody. It should get better once you get more comfortable with the situation. If not start looking for a better job.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-20-2020, 07:38 PM
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!


I think everyone will go through this during their first job (anxiety). At least, those of us with SA will experience something similar. I'm a very internal person.

I didn't have to chat or mingle with other teams, but I also didn't have much of a presence in my own team—and we were only 4. Suffice to say I didn't land a great impression with anyone.

I was very (very) fortunate that my manager was the most ideal person I could ever have for a first manager (e.g. understanding, patient). Granted it was only an internship, it was nice just being able to do some small stuff with real people. In the end, the dream ended and I didn't really have the chops nor the warrant to continue with the company. I feel like I failed. The same thoughts you have rippled through me every day during my internship and every day felt like slow-mo into insanity.

Fast forward to today, I am in my first full-time job and I'm doing better but not enough to feel like I'm making a contribution much less learning/growing on a personal/professional level.

I know it all feels new and new for us is usually daunting, but it can get better. If it's one thing I can share (that usually works), it's that smiling goes a long way.

It sounds weird and sure, it won't solve all your problems but I've made some progress with it.

May your future endeavors be ever fruitful.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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