Originally Posted by sensitiveguyyyy
All your advice is generic. For 99% of SA sufferers all those thoughts occur NATURALLY AND AUTOMATICALLY without even thinking. It's like a reflex. Imagine you go to see your general practitioner and he/she hits your knee with a hammer out of nowhere (you didn't expect that). What would happen? Your knee would extend immediately in a fraction of a second. I see a guy in the class giving a really good presentation and bam out of nowhere the first thought that comes to my head is: I'm not as good as this guy. It's subconscious and nobody knows how to get rid of it.
i know that and can give more examples, that doesn't mean that this is impossible to change, as i said things take a long time, your brain won't change in one day, it may take years.
Once again, all positive thoughts have to come NATURALLY AND AUTOMATICALLY without you forcing yourself to think positively. If you have to force yourself to think positively, you're only pretending, it means inside you're still the same. Do you think confident people have to constantly repeat to themselves 'oh, I'm good at this etc.'? For them it comes NATURALLY and AUTOMATICALLY.
i am not sure why you are using the word "force", you don't force yourself to think positively or repeat "I'm good at this" like a parrot, you have a negative thought you either let it go and understand it's just a thought or argue against it, saying "i'm good at this" is bad and i don't consider it to be an argument or a compelling one.
to give a concrete example of what i mean by convincing yourself, lets say you were doing a challenge and it involves talking with someone and you said something wrong and you felt very embarrassed and thoughts kept coming to your head from time to time even after months from that event for no apparent reason, I try to convince myself like i am trying to convince someone else, if someone else came to me and told me about this, my arguments might be:
1 - you can't change the past (i am not going to say it this way).
2 - if you want to change then making mistakes is inevitable (the internet and history are full of examples, just look at them).
and maybe other, you could also read articles which talk about this issue, so i don't repeat these like a parrot, when i have some thoughts about that event i try to do this, convince yourself of something like you are trying to convince someone else by imaging that you are talking to someone else, and after some amount of time, thoughts about this event will come rarely and when you have them you don't feel bad.
SA sufferers are programmed to think negatively about themselves. Confident people are programmed to think good about themselves. Genetics, environmental factors, family etc etc etc.
don't you believe that people change and that confident positive people can turn into negative and vice versa ?
All this generic crap 'you just need to stop caring what they think about you' is kindergarten stuff.
where did i write "you just need to stop caring what they think about you" ?
what i said
i normally try to convince myself that what is important is what's in my head, people can think that i am the worst person in the world, if i don't think this is the case or think it is the case but don't care about it then whatever they think about me isn't important.
what a nice straw man
don't you see "convince myself" ?