Feeling self conscious because I work from home - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 04:38 AM Thread Starter
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Feeling self conscious because I work from home


I thought I'd post my experience about feeling incredibly self conscious about working from home in the hope that perhaps there is somebody else reading this sub who can identify with the struggle or have some advice on how to move past the feeling.

So basically, as the thread title states, I work from home most days. Even on days I do work from home I try to get out for at least a few hours a day. But mostly, you know, I'm home, and there are occasional days when I'm swamped with work and don't make it out of the house at all.

As I'm a young healthy male I feel like a loser from working from home or at least that that's what my neighbors must think. I imagine my neighbors thinking that I'm some sort of social recluse living off disability or that I'm a hermit that can't stand human company. This is made worse because the entrance to my neighbor's apartment is directly opposite ours and they're also home a lot. So it must be very obvious for them that I do work from home.

I work from home because, right now, I can't justify spending a lot on office space for my consultancy business. It's still pretty early stage and I have a lot of other bills to take care of. In time it would be idea, but right now, this is what I've got.

The weird thing is that this is totally me thinking what other people are feeling. I don't actually have an issue with working from home myself (although, as mentioned, I'd prefer an office in town if I could afford it).

I grew up with a super judgmental mother who thinks what I do is a joke and I think that's got me thinking that everybody else is similarly judgmental.

Any mental tips and perspectives much appreciated!
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 04:43 AM
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It's a bit like your parents giving you a home teachers instead of sending you to school

You don't get chance to make new friends

My parents asked if I would like a home teacher

I told them (direct quote)

"Fk off like. I want to go to school & meet other ankle biters"

lol

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could show her love

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 04:47 AM
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Yes; I talk & have always talked that way to my parents

I'm very opiniated lol

Same as now with my key nurse

lol

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could show her love

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 11:08 AM
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Nothing wrong working at home. Work is work no matter what form its in. Let the feelings of judgement simply be feelings. By accepting judgements whether they are real or imagined you will become immune and free till the point you don't care about judgement. That's the point you want to reach.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 11:27 AM
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From a feelings perspective just remember that true social anxiety and other certain anxieties such as the one you have meantioned go under a general category I like to call "harmless anxiety". Why? Because at the root the emotional turbulence does happen but is rising from something that is actually harmless. This is the beauty of these types of anxiety. There is no genuine basis and because of that it is much easier to move past being overwhelmed by the emotions being felt. You need to internalise this knowledge. You also need to internalise that when emotions from harmless anxieties rise, see the emotions as simply feelings and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you see them just as feelings it changes everything because you separate the falsely perceived genuineness of the anxiety. See them as toxic emotional stuff that will slowly come out with time like dirty surface water that's has clean water underneath deep inside. If there are feelings of judgement, even if people are judging you accept them until you don't care like I said in my last post. Eventually you won't care. Once you don't care, it's like walking out of a prison. By the way working from home is awesome.

Simply put:

1. Understand the anxiety is harmless
2. Change your attitude or understanding toward related emotions
3. Feel the emotions and be comfortable with them. It's just a feeling
4. Accept any judgements until you are psychologically immune
5. Patience


Why is this all possible? Because the root of what's going on is harmless.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 08:24 AM
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What exactly do you do in your consulting business and how did you get started?

Anyway, if anyone is judging you for it. It's either because they're jealous, or they're just dumb and have no idea what's going or what they're talking about.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 09:54 AM
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I also need to go on disability. So I can build a computer lab in my home. Giving me a chance to share out all my knowledge about the human atrocious behavior and communication skills.

What should I say to get disability? Can I tell the people that everybody put too much effort to making me look silly, because a Quantum machine knows how to spam their personal thoughts and personal feelings?

I told the programmers I don't want to interact with the mentality they created for the citizens.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers managing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA Software Engineers computionally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events in their own environment.


The real creator gave the programmers restricted technologies.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 12:59 PM
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if you're making enough to cover living costs then that's all you really need. other people dont matter!

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 01:19 PM
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I'd say most people would be envious of someone working from home.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 02:48 PM
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I think your mother's judgment is messing with you. I've worked from home for 7 years now and I've never felt insecure about it or worried that people were looking down on me for it. I've never even heard of it being judged negatively like that. Maybe look into a co-working space like Wework or something. It's cheaper than renting traditional office space and there's no leases or long term commitments.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 03:17 PM
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One method of neutralizing the bad feelings associated with judgement is most people who judge harshly (well, especially the most vocal ones) do so out of resentment. In a case of working from home, a person who judges you very harshly for it would obviously (more than likely) be someone who wishes they could work from home and they're lashing out at you because you're a convenient target.

/WYSD
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 04:00 PM
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Anyone who judges you about working from home is clearly out of touch. There are many people who work from home in various lines of work...some even prefer that type of work life.

I currently live in the middle of buckf-ck nowhere and have no choice but to work from home until I'm able to improve my finances and relocate to a totally different, far away area.

"Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 05:01 PM
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I would like to have opportunity to work from home, neighbors shouldn't be a problem either...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 11-30-2019, 03:38 PM
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You're definitely over-thinking it. When was the last time you seriously dwelt on the lives of your neighbours? Proabably never.

Besides, being self-employed and have your own business is pretty bad ***.


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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old Today, 05:46 PM
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I am in exactly the same boat. Working on a business, but I'm still at my parents home. I am so sure my neighbours think I'm some kind of social pariah and I hate that feeling.

Sometimes I just feel so. damn. frustrated. I hate it, but I need to keep reminding myself that it's just a temporary situation and try to use it to motivate me to work hard to get to the stage where I can afford to rent and office (I'd love to rent a WeWork hot desk) and mortgage. And without sounding arrogant, remind myself that the fact I'm a business person it a pretty great accomplishment, regardless of if it's located at my parents home or now.

Somethings I have started making a habit of are going gym around 2-3pm or a long walk, going out to buy lunch a few times a week and taking my laptop to a coffee shop and getting work done there.

Have you ever though about moving abroad for a while? I've done some traveling around Europe and SE Asia while I worked on my business and it was incredible. One of the reasons I've not moved out of my parents home is because I'd like to do more of that opposed to being committed to a long term rent situation.
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