Feeling like I'll be alone forever again... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 08:24 PM Thread Starter
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Feeling like I'll be alone forever again...


Feeling like I'll be alone forever again. As usual nothing is nothing getting any better with the girls. I've been trying to fix this for over 10 years and still nothing is getting better. I've tried dating sites, churches, college everything. Nothing's getting better, feels like my social skills aren't improving. Nothing is really getting any better. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I've been trying to improve my self for a while now but nothing is changing. I've been exercising, getting farther with my career, the usual self improvement stuff, but it doesn't seem to be helping me or my social skills. Nothing I've been doing has been improving my overall confidence.

I've been trying dating sites again recently. Still getting no response, really I attempted to message a girls on ChristianMingle about a month ago, but none of them have even been back on the site to response. That's about 7 girls I messaged, and nothing.

I don't really have any friends I can rely on to help me out. Even when I did have friends 10 years ago they wouldn't help me find a girlfriend and really they were against idea of me finding one.

Still go to a couple of young adults groups that's going nowhere. One I just don't feel any connection to the people there anymore, all the people I used to know stopped going, and the people that replaced them so young that it makes things awkward for me to be there. I'm really not sure what I go to that one anymore. The other one I still like, but still some feel fine, other weeks I don't really feel like I'm connecting. And even though it's usually church groups are usually mostly girls, for me when I go to these groups it's usually mostly guys.

At work it's mostly old people, the only girls my age are already married. So that place is useless for looking.

I really don't get how to deal with people to make things better. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like I said nothing seems to be changing no matter how hard I try...
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 03:06 PM
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Simple tip


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Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
Feeling like I'll be alone forever again. As usual nothing is nothing getting any better with the girls. I've been trying to fix this for over 10 years and still nothing is getting better. I've tried dating sites, churches, college everything. Nothing's getting better, feels like my social skills aren't improving. Nothing is really getting any better. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I've been trying to improve my self for a while now but nothing is changing. I've been exercising, getting farther with my career, the usual self improvement stuff, but it doesn't seem to be helping me or my social skills. Nothing I've been doing has been improving my overall confidence.

I've been trying dating sites again recently. Still getting no response, really I attempted to message a girls on ChristianMingle about a month ago, but none of them have even been back on the site to response. That's about 7 girls I messaged, and nothing.

I don't really have any friends I can rely on to help me out. Even when I did have friends 10 years ago they wouldn't help me find a girlfriend and really they were against idea of me finding one.

Still go to a couple of young adults groups that's going nowhere. One I just don't feel any connection to the people there anymore, all the people I used to know stopped going, and the people that replaced them so young that it makes things awkward for me to be there. I'm really not sure what I go to that one anymore. The other one I still like, but still some feel fine, other weeks I don't really feel like I'm connecting. And even though it's usually church groups are usually mostly girls, for me when I go to these groups it's usually mostly guys.

At work it's mostly old people, the only girls my age are already married. So that place is useless for looking.

I really don't get how to deal with people to make things better. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like I said nothing seems to be changing no matter how hard I try...
May I ask how old are you and how confident are you around people? The number one tip i could give you and it is going to sound a little harsh is. Stop looking for a girlfriends. When you stop looking for one that when you will get one. In your messages alone you come across at a little to try hard and people will be able to sense it.

I would advise you to still attend the events and church meetings that you go to but just go with the flow and don't have an objective in mind. Trust me it will help. Be patient and you will find the right one eventually. Rushing it will make you fall in love with the wrong person and that is a whole other problem.

I hope I could help
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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31, and apparently not very confident.
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 06:35 PM Thread Starter
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Anyway, the real problem that I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know how to fix it...
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 07:07 PM Thread Starter
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Attempted to a couple of times, but didn't even get to the date. Really I don't even know what I'd do if I even got that far.
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 07:25 PM
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Just try being a friend.

Relationships are just a bit more than being friends, but build the base for more if you both decide to go that way.

You learn a lot just being a friend. She learns from you and you learn from her and gt to know each other.

Usually women just choose a guy. At least that is been my experiences in real life with women. Like they will mention are single (hint), wish had bf likē you, etc. Some will just claim you as their bf (strange but true). It comes down to whether they choose you and that is their choice, and whether you like them back.

Look around your city, as there are small events happening all the time throughout most cities in the world. Usually local councils sponsor them, so can be on their website or mntion where to look. Sometimes private websites have them. Like arts and crafts, concerts, etc.

Sometimes women attend life drawing classes. I found more women than men there. More there for practicing drawing, but there are women there.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-14-2019, 08:06 PM
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No. Do not tell him to go there for women.
Not the best place, but was just an example of where women outnumber men.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 10:56 PM
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I felt loneliness only when I lost my friend in an accident. My break up first made me sad. My friend raised me from that situation. He gave me hope and confidence. But now I lost my friend. I lost myself.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-16-2019, 08:56 PM
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Being so desperate to have girlfriend is not so easy to understand to me...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-19-2019, 12:33 AM
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Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers managing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-19-2019, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Jessica Smith Sure View Post
May I ask how old are you and how confident are you around people? The number one tip i could give you and it is going to sound a little harsh is. Stop looking for a girlfriends. When you stop looking for one that when you will get one. In your messages alone you come across at a little to try hard and people will be able to sense it.

I would advise you to still attend the events and church meetings that you go to but just go with the flow and don't have an objective in mind. Trust me it will help. Be patient and you will find the right one eventually. Rushing it will make you fall in love with the wrong person and that is a whole other problem.

I hope I could help
I agree. When you want something so bad people can sense it. I say just have fun and see who comes along

We are in a reverie/ And everything you thought you knew isn't what it seems/ Only truth will set you free/ And I would never lie to you
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-19-2019, 11:45 PM
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When you want something so bad people can sense it.
From my life experiences, that is usually due to being just what is seen as over friendly.

Women that have done that to me have come right up to me and look at me like I'm something to eat.

It is ok if know them well enough and are well into relationship, but a total stranger that know nothing about.

People in general that are genuinely in love try not to scare someone off that they genuinely love, care about.

They take longer to show their true feelings, trust someone that they don't know well enough.

That is why friendship is a good idea, as can figure each other out over time and people who are long term usually meet through friends of friends.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 10:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Mondo_Fernando View Post
From my life experiences, that is usually due to being just what is seen as over friendly.

Women that have done that to me have come right up to me and look at me like I'm something to eat.

It is ok if know them well enough and are well into relationship, but a total stranger that know nothing about.

People in general that are genuinely in love try not to scare someone off that they genuinely love, care about.

They take longer to show their true feelings, trust someone that they don't know well enough.

That is why friendship is a good idea, as can figure each other out over time and people who are long term usually meet through friends of friends.
Something tells me they weren't interested in long-term friendships mate. (j/k)
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 11:08 PM
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Something tells me they weren't interested in long-term friendships mate. (j/k)
What makes it even funnier, it was at a fish, chips store.

Thinking must have been very hungry.

In addition, had a woman in a course do similar. Walked over and sat down next to me and looked at me tht way. Then walked over and sat down next to another guy in the room and did the same.

All I did while she was looking at me was smile and continue listening to the lecturer. Kinda creepy when she was doing that.

We both (men) left the room quicker than say hello at the end.
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 11:26 PM
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What makes it even funnier, it was at a fish, chips store.

Thinking must have been very hungry.

In addition, had a woman in a course do similar. Walked over and sat down next to me and looked at me tht way. Then walked over and sat down next to another guy in the room and did the same.

All I did while she was looking at me was smile and continue listening to the lecturer. Kinda creepy when she was doing that.

We both (men) left the room quicker than say hello at the end.
Yeah, it can be hard to do anything about it when that actually happens.

Mind you - it only really happens to me nowadays when they've forgotten to put their glasses on.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 11:32 PM
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Yeah, it can be hard to do anything about it when that actually happens.
There were other women in the room and they ignored what she was doing too.

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Mind you - it only really happens to me nowadays when they've forgotten to put their glasses on.
Beer goggles mate.
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 01:26 AM
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You can do what many of us at your age have done, give up trying to find a girlfriend. But all is not lost, you can instead try and find quality friends or build good relationships with family. Notice how there are so many songs about relationships problems, so it's not guaranteed you'd have a good time with a girlfriend or wife. Being single is not really so bad. There are people in relationships who still feel lonely.
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 01:32 AM
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@humidity

True. Never feel good enough. Don't know if that is the anxiety speaking.
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