Fear of physical confrontation - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
It's worth doing, in itself, I just don't think you should necessarily do it for this reason, on its own.

But I am a massive fan of men lifting weights and getting stronger, a massive fan of women doing it too (I think everyone should do it, because its pretty much all benefits).

You can work around these health issues. And honestly, things like spine issues can actually get solved with progressive weight training (my neck problem seems to have been resolved from this.. I literally messed around for 2 years doing isolation exercises, 2 months ago I started bench pressing, with the bar only - 20kg, now up to 72.5 neck problem resolved.). I would advise you to find several good reasons to do it though, but ideally you, like me, start training and find the training itself self reinforcing.

In fairness, and this is true, the more masculine you look, as a man, the more powerful you look, the more respect you get. Broad shoulders, narrow waist, facial hair, masculinity, people become much more respectful (especially younger guys).

This being said, I don't think weight training would necessarily cure this problem, but it might have some knock on effects. Personally, I feel so much better in myself when I feel strong. You just feel healthy, strong, physically capable. You look more attractive, and am pretty sure it results in a more favourable hormonal profile too. Your joints strengthen, you get increased bone density, honestly, strength training is the ****. Srs. Do it. But do it for reasons other than this specific fear, because, as you aren't getting attacked, as previously mentioned, it probably wont help you and you will stop and lose the mass of other benefits.

Re sensitive stomach, its no problem, and this isn't about excuses, not going to tell you you need to do it, if you don't want to, don't, if you do you can find a way. This is the shortcut way to add 15-20lbs of muscle in the first year.

1. Buy the starting strength book. Read it all.
2. Follow the program exactly.
3. Make sure you get enough protein and eat enough food.
4. Log your workouts and weights and reps (I use the strong app on android). You have to log sessions.
5. Commit to this for 2 months.

If you do this, and you love it (you might), all good. If you don't, meh, all good, nothing lost really . The program has you starting on very low weights, maybe just the bar, this is necessary for it to work, so don't jump ahead. Your body will gradually adjust to the load, you will perfect the form and its highly probable your back issues will clear up, and your appetite will naturally increase.

I am convinced that progressive resistance training is the closest thing to a health magic wand there is. Do it regardless of fear.

Almost everyone reading this should also do it. Lol.
Well-constructed and positive!! 5 *****
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post #22 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by J3diMinDTricK View Post
What if you don't look or feel very masculine?
It doesn't matter in the context of this thread, or in life, tbh. It's very rare that people will fight you, or want to fight you, and though looking masculine makes people weirdly respect you, its not amazing... they also don't speak to you, pretty much, because you are intimidating. Double edged sword. I would trade masculinity for any number of other traits.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #23 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 03:16 PM
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Hello, do you think this may be more about avoiding emotional pain more than physical pain? For example if someone tripped you and you do nothing about it, that can be very painful to your ego.

You also said that it probably won't happen but its still possible. Can't you say that about everything? Its possible someone will drop a piano on your head, thinking of old cartoons. If something is possible, does that mean you should spend your time worrying about it? I imagine its more likely to be in a car wreck than it is to get into fight that you not looking for. Are you going to stop driving? It looks like the thought, yeah but its possible, is getting in the way of your critical thinking.

Common sense is something you should rely on more than possibilities. If I see some guys that look shady, I would probably walk around them to avoid them. If they stopped me and started harassing me, I would assess the situation and see what options I have. You can run, you can call for help out loud or on your phone etc. Would that hurt your ego to run? Self preservation should come before ego. If I see some lions, I'm not going to worry about what people would think, I'm just going to avoid them. But if all they might do is say something demeaning to me, then thats fine, their words mean nothing about me.

So is it about self esteem, or is it about real physical harm? If its self esteem, the answer is to ignore them. If someone cuts in front of you in line, you can tell someone in charge, or let them cut. They must want it more than everyone else.
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post #24 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 03:20 PM
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This isn't something that bothers me too much, but I also didn't go through a period where it did bother me a lot and then became less bothered.

For me it's mostly the awareness that I'm genetically female and so random people are less likely to start **** with me in public. I once mentioned statistics to another female poster who was worrying on this forum about this and got told off by another poster ('don't dismiss her fears because of your gender ****' or something like that) who didn't like me and kept calling me a psychopath lol (not because of that, they'd just concluded that I was a psychopath in general.)
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post #25 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-05-2019, 08:00 PM
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Fight me...

In this case you have full chances to win...

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