Fear of change...or notice of change - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-22-2007, 12:31 AM Thread Starter
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Fear of change...or notice of change


I think one of the biggest set backs of SA with me is just being able to change as you wish. It's like I have the same haircut I've had since probably 5th grade, just because I"m afraid people will notice it. And from my insecurity about being able to change, I go around telling people "you're a tool for changing your look just to meet what's 'cool'" and that just makes it harder for me to be able to change. Because I don't want to be known as the person who's against something and suddenly be it the next day. My clothes are basically jeans with any combination of t-shirt. My friend would go and buy all these clothes that are 'cool' (I don't even know anymore) and I'd lash out at him, almost made and called him a drone etc.

Which makes me thing of something else, that bothers me just as much. Am I am who I really am or is it all just because I"m too afraid to do anything? I mean I see all these extro-verted idiots and I hate them, but do I really hate them or am I jealous?
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 04:50 PM
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


I don't want people to notice I've changed, either, but for me it's mostly because I don't want them to notice me at all. . .

Don't miss your chance to swim in mystery.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


I was like that a lot when I was younger.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 07:53 PM
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Change gives me major anxiety

just one more song to slay this earth
and i can't explain myself just what it's worth
it was all i had, but not all i'd need
and i can't escape the fact that i still bleed
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 08:39 PM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Change can be nerve racking for me but "I'll get used to it". That's what I try to tell myself.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 09:10 PM
 
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yeah this is diffinitely MY BIGGEST FEAR

i dont want to change because people would noticed that i have changed

and they would judge me for that!

thats what deter me from changing
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-2007, 09:43 PM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


I hate change.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 03:05 AM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Yes, I dont like change because people treat you differently.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 04:21 AM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


I'm not afraid of that kind of change, like trying a new look. I don't care what people think when it comes to that.

I have a fear of changing certain things in my life. I've been at this job I hate for 6 years. As much as I hate it, I'm used to the people I work with and everything else. I'm afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. My ex friend changed jobs like the wind. It's because they were ****ty jobs, but at least she was able to move on to something else when she needed to. I wish I was like that. I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to move on.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 07:52 AM
 
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Re: re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Quote:
Originally Posted by winduptoy
I don't want people to notice I've changed, either, but for me it's mostly because I don't want them to notice me at all. . .
same here.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 10:26 AM
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


highschool i wouldn't get haircuts cause i didn't want to be the center of attention in class by people pointing out my new cut.

Don't be scared just be prepared for the worst
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 09:27 PM
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Its weird, I'm always afraid that someone will notice I changed. I started at a new school overseas and thought it would be a new start and actually go out and meet new people, but as always i'm having a very hard time meeting people, but when some old classmates come around me I just can't talk because it would be change from what they know of me. Like I said it weird.
 
post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-24-2007, 11:48 PM
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So if I'm understanding you right, you're not sure if you don't want to change because you want to rebel against culture and what's "cool", or because you're afraid of people noticing that you've changed. If you come to the realization that you want to change some aspects of your look or personality, but haven't done so because of fear of what other people think, then I challenge you to examine that irrational fear and do something about it. Who cares if people notice that you've changed something about yourself? It doesn't matter what they think! It really is no big deal at all. But, if it is a positive change, then other people may respond to you in a better way anyway! So go ahead and change whatever you want to change. It doesn't have to be drastic or all at once. You can take gradual steps to change. That's what I have done. Whenever I have made changes to my clothing/hair style, personality, etc. they have always been very slow and gradual. But you should go ahead and do whatever it is you want to do. You are entitled to look, act, speak, etc however you want. You are not to be held accountable to anyone. Good luck!
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-25-2007, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


Well yeah that' what I've been doing too. Very slow gradual change. For example just getting my hair cut at incresingly shorter intervals. lol I joke with myself that it's phsycological desensitizing.
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-25-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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re: Fear of change...or notice of change


idk y but ive kindve always liked switching up my "look".. it makes me happy when people actually notice and pay compliment
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