Fathers Alcoholism linked to SA? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-03-2010, 05:07 PM Thread Starter
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Age: 27
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Fathers Alcoholism linked to SA?

I developed SA at the same time my father began drinking heavily. I used to think this was purely coincidince. Until I ran across something called "The Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List". It is a list consisting of common characteristics that children with alcoholic parents share. Many of them are very similar to my symptoms of SA. I will post the list below and bold the ones that relate to my SA.

We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables us not to look too closely at our own faults.
We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
We become addicted to excitement.
We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people who we can "pity" and "rescue".
We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial).
We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of the disease even though we did not pick up the drink. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

My mother used to have SA. I'm beginning to think that I had the potential to have SA my whole life and when my father starting drinking it finally triggered the disorder. What do you think?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 09-08-2010, 06:55 AM
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Interesting list, I do recognise some of the traits listed as being my own. I do feel alcoholism plays a big role in shaping us as children, growing up with a violent alcoholic effects how I look at situations and people to this very day.
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