Epiphany: Everybody Has SA - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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Epiphany: Everybody Has SA


I had an amazing epiphany the other day. I think I figured out that most people (like 80%) are inherently SA. So there's actually no difference between SA people and the other people that folks refer to as '' normies ''.



The reason why I think this is because of this: The First Day of School feeling.



This doesn't necessarily have to do with school. But its a feeling that everyone feels whenever they are in a new environment. You first feel it when you're in school. The first day feels very terrifying and uncomfortable.....but you slowly acclimatize to it and gain comfort. And you feel it every year. It's something that most people go through. The acclimatization period is like exposure therapy for your fear.



But why do people feel it in the first place? Why do you feel discomfort when you know there's no real threat over there like a loose jaguar or a killer on the prowl? Could it be that most people are inherently SA but don't develop the symptoms of it as strongly as we do? Maybe the reason why we develop strong symptoms is because our self esteem is much lower than theirs and so its just more extreme. So its not a case of difference. It's just a different magnitude.



Thoughts?
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 03:24 PM
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I think that it's not really SA to get anxiety before things like the first day of school. Those seem like causes of anxiety that is to be expected. SA is more extreme anxiety that persists. Maybe I'm wrong. Edit: oh you kinda said that lol

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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 09:39 PM
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It's not SA it's just fear of new environments which everyone has Especially children
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 10:40 PM
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Most people probably feel uncomfortable on there first day of school/work or whatever but most get over it pretty quickly. I think the difference is some of us never get over it. There's a difference between feeling a little social anxiety for a while and social anxiety disorder which seem to stick with us 24/7,or at least when we're around most people. Well I least for me it is.

I think SAD is more of a irrational fear(which is why it's a disorder/a mental problem. Freaking out because there's a Jaguar or a killer on the prowl is probably normal and has nothing to do with SA.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 11:00 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by versikk View Post
It's not SA it's just fear of new environments which everyone has Especially children
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Doesn't everyone have this to some extent? Feeling a weird sense of unease when you live in a new area or work somewhere new.



I think its more apparent in children because children are not as independent as adults so they feel powerless.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 11:03 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by 3stacks View Post
I think that it's not really SA to get anxiety before things like the first day of school. Those seem like causes of anxiety that is to be expected. SA is more extreme anxiety that persists. Maybe I'm wrong. Edit: oh you kinda said that lol

Yeah maybe. SA people tend to think of stuff and notice things that other people don't think of.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeDuck View Post
Doesn't everyone have this to some extent? Feeling a weird sense of unease when you live in a new area or work somewhere new.



I think its more apparent in children because children are not as independent as adults so they feel powerless.
Yes that is precisely what I said =)
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 01:55 AM
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Everyone can experience certain forms of SA in higher stress social situations. Same for other types of anxiety as well. Just the typical SA-ers experience it much more easily and frequently to the point that it affects their daily functioning in life situations that it is considered a disorder.


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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 02:03 AM
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Some hide it better than others, yes.


I have even seen cases where I, the person with SA, actually starts conversations because nobody says anything. .

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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 04:40 AM
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Everyone experiences anxiety (and all emotions) to varying extents. Not everyone "has" social anxiety, as in the diagnosis, but almost everyone experiences anxiety in social situations from time to time. Emotions are normal and healthy physiological responses to our environment.

Pple with SA tend to have some beliefs that reinforce and perpetuate that anxiety beyond "normal" manageable levels. It moves into diagnosis territory once it begins to affect functioning. Then apart from "just SA" pple, you have those with other stuff going on such as trauma, pd's and other comorbidities that further reinforce anxiety and avoidance.

So yes, everyone experiences anxiety in social situations from time to time for a variety of reasons. Those whose level of anxiety affects their functioning may need a little (or extensive) help bringing anxiety back into manageable levels.

As to why some have these issues and some don't? We all have life experiences that shape the way we view the world and pple. Some of the beliefs we pick up work for us, some of them really ****ing don't. Really the luck of the draw what and who you're exposed to and what beliefs you pick up (until you're older and become more consciously aware of the choices you have in the matter.) Had loving, validating parents and/or were accepted by your peers for the most part? Unlikely your anxiety with pple will get out of control. Had a ****ty upbringing and/or chronically experienced bullying, invalidation, rejection, etc.? Yup you're likely to have some struggles with social anxiety later on. Then there's an entire biological side to it that I personally don't put too much stock in, so I can't really speak to it.

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 08:57 AM
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Sure, almost everybody gets socially anxious occasionally. Social Anxiety Disorder is when your social anxiety is so severe that it prevents you from enjoying life.

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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 10:10 AM
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Yes/No


I think there's some who would draw a line between general anxiety and social anxiety.

I think I can agree that almost everyone can relate to feeling nervous like we do when experiencing anything new for the first time, especially school.

That being said, I don't think everyone quite has SA or if they appear to, it's only because we can all share certain qualities/traits. For example: just because you're introverted, that doesn't mean you necessarily have SA.

I honestly feel we all have the potential to overcome our dilemma but it all comes at a price. Maybe timing and comfort levels has something to do with it, but it's not quite that simple either.

I realize having SA is different for everyone, but it wouldn't be a thing on its own if we all didn't share some kind of unique qualities/traits that only we tend to exhibit the way we do.

The one thing that comes to mind is panic attacks and not then being able to handle social situations well. I don't recall the majority of my classmates suffering from that like I did.

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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 11:21 AM
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left off the D. D is for ducked up. D is for doom. D is for dysfunctional. DISORDER.

without the D it's just normal. D makes it bad ****. PD would make it even worse.

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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 02:17 PM
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It's only anxiety when you dread having a conversation with another person every single day.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-05-2019, 11:30 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by thomasjune View Post
I think SAD is more of a irrational fear(which is why it's a disorder/a mental problem. Freaking out because there's a Jaguar or a killer on the prowl is probably normal and has nothing to do with SA.
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Hmm I don't think its fully irrational though. A lot of the fear in SAD comes from the fear of judgement or rejection (logically, those fears make sense). I think in SA people, those fears are more amplified.
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-06-2019, 01:12 AM
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Dipping your toes in the pond is not the same as swimming in it.

To put it simply, there's a difference between having a anxiety disorder and having normal anxiety.


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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by LightUpTheAzureSky View Post
Dipping your toes in the pond is not the same as swimming in it.

To put it simply, there's a difference between having a anxiety disorder and having normal anxiety.

But the question is why is there anxiety in the first place? Why would someone experience the anxiety if there's no actual danger
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 12:52 PM
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Kids are naturally SA (I think). School is kinda supposed to beat it out of you by the time you graduate but it doesn't for some people and so they have to explain somehow why their systematic exposure therapy sometimes fails to turn people into perfect drones.

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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by DukeDuck View Post
But the question is why is there anxiety in the first place? Why would someone experience the anxiety if there's no actual danger
combination of sub-optimal brain wiring and sub-optimal early childhood.

fear of death (all fears are essentially just "off-shoots" of fear of death) induced by mundane situations basically. the brain filters events incorrectly and reads things as much more risky and dangerous than they are.

sensory perception difficulties and disordered emotional regulation.

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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeDuck View Post
I had an amazing epiphany the other day. I think I figured out that most people (like 80%) are inherently SA. So there's actually no difference between SA people and the other people that folks refer to as '' normies ''.



The reason why I think this is because of this: The First Day of School feeling.



This doesn't necessarily have to do with school. But its a feeling that everyone feels whenever they are in a new environment. You first feel it when you're in school. The first day feels very terrifying and uncomfortable.....but you slowly acclimatize to it and gain comfort. And you feel it every year. It's something that most people go through. The acclimatization period is like exposure therapy for your fear.



But why do people feel it in the first place? Why do you feel discomfort when you know there's no real threat over there like a loose jaguar or a killer on the prowl? Could it be that most people are inherently SA but don't develop the symptoms of it as strongly as we do? Maybe the reason why we develop strong symptoms is because our self esteem is much lower than theirs and so its just more extreme. So its not a case of difference. It's just a different magnitude.



Thoughts?
Everybody feels anxious because it's a human emotion. It's becomes a mental health issue when it doesn't allow you to function properly in life.

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