Does Reality Make You Uncomfortable? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 07:09 PM Thread Starter
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Does Reality Make You Uncomfortable?


Do you often find yourself getting connected to another world (books, movies, imagination), and then feeling discomfort when you connect back to the real world? Even if nothing really bad is happening, reality itself makes you feel uneasy. Kind of like the ' First Day of School ' feeling that everybody feels. You feel intimidated by everything around you.

I wonder if this is something that only SA people feel or if everyone feels it.

Something I've personally noticed: When I get into video games a lot, this feeling of unease with reality increases. But when I get off video games, the real world feels less intimidating and I have a easier time feeling comfortable in it.
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post #2 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 08:38 PM
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I can handle reality. It's people who live in alternate realities that bother me, like my crazy right-wing neighbor.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #3 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeDuck View Post
Do you often find yourself getting connected to another world (books, movies, imagination), and then feeling discomfort when you connect back to the real world? Even if nothing really bad is happening, reality itself makes you feel uneasy. Kind of like the ' First Day of School ' feeling that everybody feels. You feel intimidated by everything around you.

I wonder if this is something that only SA people feel or if everyone feels it.

Something I've personally noticed: When I get into video games a lot, this feeling of unease with reality increases. But when I get off video games, the real world feels less intimidating and I have a easier time feeling comfortable in it.
Video games let you participate in a different reality in a way. Sometimes they let you make choices or define your own characters. I think that that participatory quality makes it feel like you sort of lived it and at least somewhat slightly fulfills some innate desire in ourselves.

In movies, you don't live it. You're a passive observer who may feel connected to the characters, but you never truly participate in that reality. Sometimes it creates a sort of longing in me when its over because I'm not satisfied with my own life.

Life's Wack
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post #4 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 10:15 PM
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Yeah I experience this, especially when I spend a lot of time on the internet, games, or watching videos, movies. Daily life feels extremely awkward and boring.

That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in

-Fiona Apple
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post #5 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 11:21 PM
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Real life is pretty painful for me, but tbh, I have a lot of difficulty escaping it. I have to work pretty hard to make any money, so the longer I'm unproductive, the more anxious I feel. I can watch an hour-long episode of a show while I eat my dinner okay, and once in a while I can talk myself into watching a movie, but that's about my limit before being away from reality becomes too painful to tolerate. I can't play video games anymore or take days off.

I don't really know how to answer other than: reality makes me so uncomfortable that I can't take my attention off it for long. Like how you can distract yourself from a toothache in bits and snatches, but the pain always comes back. That's my life. I never get bored, in part, because the pain is always there, demanding to be dealt with. I don't have enough hours in my day to do what I need to do to survive.

I get the impression from your post that you feel sort of like, the more time you spend away from reality, the stranger it feels when you come back. I don't get that feeling, but maybe it's because I take very short breaks. If anything, I feel like my ability to cope is constantly increasing, as I learn to solve problems, just not at the same rate that my life is degrading.

My need to work long hours is balanced out to some extent by the fact that I write fiction for a living. When I'm deeply engaged in my writing, it's like I'm not really here in the real world, and I think that's how I avoid going completely insaner. But it's not always easy to get into that headspace. I have certain problems that make it difficult to get into that kind of focus (eg. migraines), and other problems that take me out of it (eg. my crazy sister calling me all the time).

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post #6 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 12:34 AM
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I'm not sure I've ever met Reality.

hello I am anna I like patting bumbleebess and playing detective and I want tummypats pleas
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post #7 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 01:26 AM
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Sometimes. I feel grateful for what I have.. Still find it hard to pacify the mind and tend to distract myself through activities which won't really benefit me in the long-run. I also have an annoying tendency to hold onto the past, which I need to get better at controlling. Vulnerability is a hard 1 for me, cause i want to form friendships and help others, but at the same time i feel as though they are a main cause of distrust.. I feel like working in a reserved workplace would be helpful in distracting myself from other problems.
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post #8 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 01:51 AM
 
 
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I guess yeah. It's just that I can't handle society or how everything is structured and I'd rather forget about it or live outside of it. But unfortunately I can't really, because it's just how things are. I'll never really be able to escape it. Whenever I happen to remember that fact, I do get uncomfortable.
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post #9 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 02:27 AM
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Yep, reality has been kind of nightmare for me so i am always trying to get lost in my books or my art, as a child i often created imajinary scenarios/stories in my head while i was in school because i didnt have a social life and that was my way of escaping my lame boring life, but now am trying to get out of that, you know i feel like i need to start facing more of real life and people even though it scares me, its time i stop living in my head 24/7
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post #10 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 02:33 AM
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Reality contains a million versions of pain, misery & death, all those things can be uncomfortable for living organisms & that's why we have drugs.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #11 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 05:04 AM
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I remember when I'd withdrawn from benzos one time in hospital (I did it many times) some guy said to me: "welcome to reality." It didn't make me feel any better, that's for sure.

I used to find dealing with it extremely difficult and still do to a large extent.

But comparing to the feeling you're talking about I used to feel like that often coming out of a movie theatre - I'd have been so lost in the movie that coming back out into the street was sort of jarring.

I also had it to a lesser extent with books - sometimes a really well-written sentence or two can almost affect your mood.
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post #12 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 05:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DukeDuck View Post
Do you often find yourself getting connected to another world (books, movies, imagination), and then feeling discomfort when you connect back to the real world? Even if nothing really bad is happening, reality itself makes you feel uneasy. Kind of like the ' First Day of School ' feeling that everybody feels. You feel intimidated by everything around you.

I wonder if this is something that only SA people feel or if everyone feels it.

Something I've personally noticed: When I get into video games a lot, this feeling of unease with reality increases. But when I get off video games, the real world feels less intimidating and I have a easier time feeling comfortable in it.
Not movies and video games or books, so much. Maybe years ago. These days it's mostly nonfiction. I like Youtube a lot. It allows me to stay connected to reality but in a way that isn't overwhelming. I would not last long in the real world due to that kind of thing (I'd just be overwhelmed and shut down). So it's kind of a fantasy world where I can explore reality at a comfortable pace (and without destroying myself to try and go in different directions) and try to find paths to a possible future that I can live with.

Of course it's uncomfortable that reality doesn't have a pause button or a replay button or an X that closes the tab.

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post #13 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 05:54 AM
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Loved Thread!!!


for all the virtual people addicted to Eeaarr input only
Entire world just happens in the head from voices from people invisible never seen!



Never watch TV a.. motto of 1970 & '80s. approach I appreciate now. outdoors always! Bike all time! go anywhere. action. nothing phone is real. just people tricking those out of their money. not just sales.... their..... Yoouurrrrr Account.... WHAT'S Yourr NAME??? Address?? how many hours spent being quizzed about who u are.. what u want... what they lie: whay WEEEEEE CAN Dooo 4 UU!!

all from Narnia..

contest this? phone = virtua.. fantasy in the ears. howww secure are the vocal methods used? mouths & ears.. questions ALL ABOUT YOU, EWE, UUU U ?? Eeeeewwwww

NULL DAYS Today is and will be. another


fantasy SMS. I come and c u this afternoon from yesterday

so i wait time... only end of intended period.. 1200-1300 greeted at door, his son. often his daughter and wife. defence? a reality form of callcentre = doorbell. handshakes, eyes! i feel same of my elder bro too would advise all his 4 daughters never, ever go near me!!! my virtual assumption, for realistic abomination of things. i kept at more than arm's reach. this neighbour says never go my house/door. i say that directly to the son.

belief... without this remote, mysterious electronic luxurious conveniency
world be better if using my principle of going and visiting, spending time
physical exercise
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post #14 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 08:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
But comparing to the feeling you're talking about I used to feel like that often coming out of a movie theatre - I'd have been so lost in the movie that coming back out into the street was sort of jarring.
It's been years since I got that lost in a movie -- maybe even decades. I can't remember the last movie that affected me like that. It might have been way back in the '90s.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #15 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 08:47 AM
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There was a story today about some guy who was buying cats off of Craigslist and torturing them to death. That's reality for you.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #16 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
There was a story today about some guy who was buying cats off of Craigslist and torturing them to death. That's reality for you.


And here I was worrying about the nice speakers I sold on Craigslist for a low price because I thought the guy I sold them to might not appreciate them and destroy them.

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post #17 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 09:12 AM
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But comparing to the feeling you're talking about I used to feel like that often coming out of a movie theatre - I'd have been so lost in the movie that coming back out into the street was sort of jarring.
Actually, I always kind of enjoyed that feeling. The movie theater experience is so perfectly immersive that I totally relax and it lingers in my mind for like half an hour after I've left.

It's a feeling (state of mind) that (to me) almost feels like floating and effortless existence.

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post #18 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 11:58 AM
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Most definitely. I watch shows and read fiction and biographies near obsessively to escape thinking about reality. I used to be completely immersed in NHL hockey (catching every game, every pre and post game show, having hockey radio on at all hours, being on all the forums). Then the anime phase where I would live entirely in those worlds mentally.

It's kind of sad. I would hope this kind of thing would stop after a certain age, but for me it never has. I don't feel any meaningful connection to anything in reality... Not my family, not my job, and only sometimes my friends.

Lovers have been used as an escape as well - and the relationships always ended disastrously because obviously, real people don't often react well to constantly being a crutch to escape life with.
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post #19 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 03:09 PM
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It's been years since I got that lost in a movie -- maybe even decades. I can't remember the last movie that affected me like that. It might have been way back in the '90s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Actually, I always kind of enjoyed that feeling. The movie theater experience is so perfectly immersive that I totally relax and it lingers in my mind for like half an hour after I've left.

It's a feeling (state of mind) that (to me) almost feels like floating and effortless existence.
Now that you mention it @Maslow I think you're probably right - its the sort of thing that happened a lot more when I was younger. Same with the books actually - I find it much harder to just relax and read nowadays.

Might have something to do wth the quality or feel of the movies nowadays - or also our age. We might have been much more impressionable back then. I probably was anyway - I'm most likely a bit jaded nowadays.
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post #20 of 57 (permalink) Old 05-11-2019, 11:34 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Don View Post
Video games let you participate in a different reality in a way. Sometimes they let you make choices or define your own characters. I think that that participatory quality makes it feel like you sort of lived it and at least somewhat slightly fulfills some innate desire in ourselves.

In movies, you don't live it. You're a passive observer who may feel connected to the characters, but you never truly participate in that reality. Sometimes it creates a sort of longing in me when its over because I'm not satisfied with my own life.

I get that longing after finishing a great film too. It's more like a feeling of loneliness. I guess you get attached to the movie and watching it end is like saying goodbye to a friend.
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