Does anyone else look back at their childhood and get angry that their mental health issue - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #41 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 07:36 AM
Changeless
 
kesker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ricola
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,578
My Mood: Worried
Not really. Back then issues of that nature were taboo and, by and large, parents went into immediate denial. Social Anxiety/Panic Disorder/ADD weren't even terms that had been invented yet. I did send some pretty obvious warning signs, though, but I also understood that to be afraid was cause for being shamed so, by three or four, I'd built a pretty substantial protective wall around myself.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

~bad baby

"Daisy, may I ask why you're holding Miss Sybil's biscuit jar?"
kesker is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #42 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 09:18 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 720
Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
More annoyed my parents didn't seek help for their own mental health issues.
Good point. Wish my parents had gotten help for their issues. Looking back on it my father was dealing with anxiety issues and drinking to much. So he had his own issues. But if he had gotten help it would have perhaps put him in a better position to help me with my issues.
chrisinmd is offline  
post #43 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 10:13 AM
Broke boy
 
TheForestWasDark's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 718
I was pretty much a frozen bunny rabbit in school, except it was during the daytime in broad daylight when bunnies don’t thrive.
TheForestWasDark is offline  
 
post #44 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 04:29 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,604
It never occurs to me to blame my parents. Either for what they may have supposedly done (that may have caused me problems later) or what they didn't do to try and help me.

I don't think my problems were starting to show until my late teens, early 20's - and even then I didn't really know what was going on myself. I knew I was very anxious in certain situations - like for example I tried to go to Uni at the regular age and couldn't, but it was pretty obvious no-one much knew what to do about it.

Our family doctor prescribed me Serepax - a benzo - back in my early 20's (very early '80's). Back then the research on their side-effects was probably not even done yet - or certainly wouldn't have been widely known. They were handed out like lollies. Plus my poor mother was on a barbiturate while she was pregnant with me - because, I'd imagine, she'd already had 6 miscarriages before me and was desperate to keep this one.
harrison is offline  
post #45 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-04-2019, 03:11 PM
Persona Non Grata
 
Citrine79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,413
My Mood: Worried
I have made numerous mistakes and much of the blame lies with me. But I most certainly showed signs of OCD and unusual amounts of worry and anxiety in my youth and no one really noticed or cared. College was a waste of time and not beneficial in any way, I should have used that time and money to better myself inside and out. I live in a miserable city and I am now fast approaching 40 (later this year) and I donít and havenít ever had friends or a boyfriend,I depend on others because I donít drive and have zero life skills (canít cook or housekeep), I do work but my job is boring, monotonous, the benefits and pay are lousy, no perks or room for advancement and morale is low most days. My world is work Monday- Friday, come home, eat dinner and sit in my room and either shop online or spend hours commenting on various news sites. Weekends arenít much different other than going out to eat and maybe the store. Pretty sure my window of opportunity to change things is either already closed or closing very soon. I am trying one last time...therapy and maybe meds. In just a few appointments, I have made some baby steps toward driving again. Driving would be the break I need but not sure I have the strength to make it happen.
Citrine79 is offline  
post #46 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-04-2019, 03:23 PM
Always on the Run.
 
BehindtheScenes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Rotting Away
Language: Fleeing
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Posts: 4,319
My Mood: Pensive
It just caused me to further distance myself from most people and remain uninvolved in a lot of crap, I guess.

"If you're going through hell, keep going" - Winston Churchill
BehindtheScenes is offline  
post #47 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-12-2019, 04:55 PM
SAS Member
 
SocialAnxietyAndMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Female
Age: 40
Posts: 35
Yes

Please Support My YouTube Channel:
www.youtube.com/janinecunningham2
SocialAnxietyAndMe is offline  
post #48 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-13-2019, 08:51 AM
SAS Member
 
Sweet&Sour's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: soil
Language: eye contact
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 107
sort of, especially since i have secondary disorders that were (made) veryy apparent to my parents, they should have got me some help. no use crying over spilt milk though.

ďMy case is not unique: I am afraid of dying and distressed at being in the world.Ē
Sweet&Sour is offline  
post #49 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-13-2019, 08:20 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 21
I have zero doubt that I got my SA as a result of my mom and her hold on the parenting that I received.


I'm grateful that she disciplined me to focus on my education and to be a good person, 100%, but it was at the total expense of my social development. My mom is an introvert and probably has some level of SA herself, so it's no surprise I ended up much the same.


I never have and do not think of it as anger at not receiving help per se, but more so frustration that my socialization was thrown out the window in terms of childhood development. I've accepted that SA will likely be a part of my daily life for the rest of my life, and now it's just about addressing it and overcoming it as best and as often as I can.
JEG88 is offline  
post #50 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-13-2019, 11:49 PM
Moron
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Age: 49
Posts: 4,496
Mental health help was non existent when I was a kid. All I would get is a toughen up kid comments which really helped. Or you could go talk to the school nurse who just thought you were shy.
Yer Blues is offline  
post #51 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 10:42 AM
SAS Member
 
That Random Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: America
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,578

Yes


Yes, I do.

I missed out on a lot of things, but the thing that will always tick me off is missing out on the chance to actually woo someone.

This particular person was probably the only person who would understand me despite not having much communication and that was only attributed to the fact that she was BFFs with my cousin---who I used to be close with.

Oddly enough, my cousins are probably the only people who I can be myself around. It's only with them where I feel somewhat normal and act like "everybody else".

I think it's for that reason why this person of interest was always attempting to reach out to me. I behaved poorly and due to SA, didn't react in kind.

I will forever regret not doing more to responding to this person. I've had to let it go, though. 'Cause the anger was starting to get to me.

ďThough I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
That Random Guy is offline  
post #52 of 67 (permalink) Old 05-20-2019, 10:13 AM
SAS Member
 
ideasunlimitedonline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Sugar Land, TX
Gender: Male
Posts: 89
No, I don't blame anyone. Getting diagnosed with NVLD is a rare thing, and was totally heard of when I was growing up. There was a belief that girls didn't get autism spectrum or learning based disorders, only boys did (dead wrong). The only thing that has upset me is that I had severe difficulties in math, beyond what is normal. As in I would tutor for hours after school and still barely pass the class. I'm absolutely baffled that no one thought, "uh, gee, this is odd. Maybe you should test her or put her in a different class?" But, can't fix it now. There was a slight expectation for girls to be shy, so I don't think SA would ever come up.

ideasunlimitedonline.com
ideasunlimitedonline is offline  
post #53 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yer Blues View Post
Mental health help was non existent when I was a kid. All I would get is a toughen up kid comments which really helped. Or you could go talk to the school nurse who just thought you were shy.
Pretty much the same here. The just "toughen up" attitude was very common of people of our parents generation.
chrisinmd is offline  
post #54 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 02:33 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,604
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Pretty much the same here. The just "toughen up" attitude was very common of people of our parents generation.
Unfortunately things don't seem to have changed all that much mate - the media likes to give the appearance that things have but most people don't have the faintest idea what it's like to have a mental illness. And in my experience they have little sympathy for people like us.
harrison is offline  
post #55 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 02:33 PM
Moron
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Age: 49
Posts: 4,496
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Pretty much the same here. The just "toughen up" attitude was very common of people of our parents generation.
So was alcoholism. I wonder why.
Yer Blues is offline  
post #56 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 02:42 PM
Samityville Horror
 
SamanthaStrange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Purgatory
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,796
My Mood: Worried
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Unfortunately things don't seem to have changed all that much mate - the media likes to give the appearance that things have but most people don't have the faintest idea what it's like to have a mental illness. And in my experience they have little sympathy for people like us.
This is true. I think people like to pretend to support causes by "liking" something on social media, or whatever. But most never truly understand or care what people with mental illness actually struggle with on a day to day basis.

Now I'm Nothing
SamanthaStrange is offline  
post #57 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 02:52 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 1,240
No. They were not equipped to deal with something so complex, and I hid most of it from others anyway so it made it harder for them to help. I was offered help more than once early on and i blew it off. I don't have resentment towards them for this and I don't blame others for it, not myself either.

It's just a ****ty thing I've been dealt with, that's life. Bad luck.
tigerblood is offline  
post #58 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 06:05 PM
Not A Low Calorie Food
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 28,248
My Mood: Relaxed
Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Not really. I don't think my parents were any more well equipped to deal with my psychological issues than they were to deal with being parents in the first place. The main thing I blame them for is just plain not having enough common sense to realize the results of their reproductive activities would likely not be that great. Or I guess we should say the odds were not good.

They got lucky with my sister (Sort of. She still has health problems that she probably inherited and likely passed on to her own children). I definitely lost the genetic lottery. Beyond that point, there's probably not much anyone could have done. Short of being millionaires. If they had been millionaires and I would have inherited enough to survive on, I wouldn't blame them for reproducing. That not having been the case, I feel that I can blame them for gambling with an empty bank account.

I feel that my sister's children will likely pay a steep price in the long run as well. They're all still young for the time being so only time will tell. There are 3 of them and at least once of their parents came from less than ideal genes. They also don't have an extensive family network to fall back on if anything happens to their parents. If even one of them turns out as bad as I did that will be an unacceptable fail in my book. Two successes and one fail is still unacceptable.
Pretty much still this. Garbage in, garbage out.

They could have done more if they had a clue but if they had a clue, I probably wouldn't have been born so the problem wouldn't have existed to start with.

/WYSD
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #59 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 06:25 PM
Permanently tired
 
AffinityWing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 1,810
My Mood: Doh
My family expected me to deal with it on my own. I would just get the "pull yourself by the bootstraps" angry tirade by my mom or get talked to like I'm psychotic/that I should be institutionalized whenever I tried to talk with her about problems with SA, like getting bullied, being too self-conscious about talking to people, etc. They did find me a counselor or therapist a few times, but generally they would be people they would take me to only once or twice and then never again (So certainly not long enough to even get diagnosed or see any effect out of it.)

Mental illness is quite stigmatized and unspoken about in my family and my mother doesn't even believe depression is real.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


Mili
AffinityWing is offline  
post #60 of 67 (permalink) Old 10-27-2019, 06:36 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: USA
Language: English, Korean
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Posts: 237
My issues were identified and I did receive help and treatment, but that's not always enough.
Girl with a pen is online now  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome