Do Your Parents Talk Bad About You - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 10:42 PM Thread Starter
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Do Your Parents Talk Bad About You


Have you heard them talking ill of you?

I recently heard my mum say to someone on the phone that who would marry me. That's hard to take in because it wasn't like we had a fight. Which I could understand if it's out of anger, even though it's not right. She just said it.

I rather she verbally abuses me. Because most of the time she's nice and says supportive stuff, but probably talk **** about me when I'm not around.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 03:44 PM
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My mom says that stuff to my face not other people
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 04:07 PM
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It wouldn't be very nice, but I wouldn't mind to hear their honest opinion about me... Even though I know by myself already...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 05:03 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that - It was a cruel thing for her to say and it's probably just projection of her own insecurities.

My mother has always talked bad about me, both to my face and to others. Some of the stuff she would say were so vile even her own friends would jump to my defense, and a lot of it repeats in my head constantly now as an adult. It was pretty traumatizing. I have a Freudian theory that she was competing with me for my father's affections - She told me when I was 13 that I should be a prostitute because fcking men would be all I'd be good for.

When I was little, like around 7, I'd cuddle with Dad before school and my mother would demand to know if my pants were taken off. (WTF???).
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 07:59 PM
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I can remember overhearing them talking bad about me when they didn't think I was listening in the other room. Not good and it destroys your self confidence.

It says more bad things about them then it does about you. They must have there own problems. Looking back now I can see my parents were not happy with their own lives and going through there own problems
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 08:11 PM
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On the contrary. They think I'm more than I am and am just not trying hard enough. Has always been the problem with them. They are (always were) in denial about my capabilities, my intelligence and my potential. This caused them to pretty much bury their heads in the sand and fail to plan/prepare for what was always going to be an abysmal future for me. I have had to slowly come to terms with the reality of my limitations for myself with them denying it all the while. Which I guess when it comes right down to it, when you tell your family something and they don't believe you, they're basically calling you a liar.

/WYSD
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 02:35 AM
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They do, but only when they don't think that I can hear them. I don't get it. They go into the room next to me with the door open and they don't think that I can hear them. It's been like that my whole life.
Now it's more like a general negative attitude towards me and I can never do anything right it seems. Being who I am is never good enough.

I've just given up on trying to change their opinion of me. I'm "lucky"to be living temporarily with my parents now and it's wearing me down.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 11:38 AM
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My mother has always said nice things, sometimes though I think she is in denial of how messed up I am. My father never really cared. He was always hanging out with my cousins and would talk about how amazing and wonderful they were, but he often looked at me like a piece of junk. He never wanted to be a father I realize now.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 01:00 PM
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no. nothing nice either though. my brother says bad **** about me all the time, so i don't like to be around him. my dad likes my brother way more than he likes me.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 04:08 PM
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Yes, my dad even keeps lists of all the bad things I did or said to him.

His biggest hobby besides taking photos of butterflies, hummingbirds, and fish is hating people. He especially loves to give lengthy character assassinations of family members, friends of the family, neighbors, former coworkers, etc. I've even had him begin a character assassination of me to my face.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by komorikun View Post
Yes, my dad even keeps lists of all the bad things I did or said to him.

His biggest hobby besides taking photos of butterflies, hummingbirds, and fish is hating people. He especially loves to give lengthy character assassinations of family members, friends of the family, neighbors, former coworkers, etc. I've even had him begin a character assassination of me to my face.
My mother does this, as did her mother (my grandma) when she was still alive. They bonded with me by telling me all the ways my father was a horrible man (despite being the one supporting their deadbeat as.sses), how my aunts and uncles were all terrible people, even about all the ways the other was a sh.it person! They were toxic, toxic human beings and I can't wait till they're all gone for good from my life.

I feel like I'm carrying on their bad habits by hating them this much and holding onto contempt... but goddamn, did they work hard to earn everyone's hatred. No one likes my mother - not me, not my brother, and for sure my father would rather she be dead than continue life with her.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-08-2020, 07:51 PM
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I heard my Dad once told my siblings "I'm not going to leave that worthless dog anything." What he failed to understand is if he(as my Dad) actually tried to guide and support me instead of verbally beating me down every time then maybe I wouldn't be so freaking worthless.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 01:00 AM
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I eavesdrop on them saying nice things about me behind my back but sometimes they are insulting to my face. Better than the other way around in some ways
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-09-2020, 01:13 PM
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They do, but they don't have a leg to stand on. Their lives are a hilarious disaster and it's their own fault.

I'm learning from them by not doing anything they do.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-15-2020, 11:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
I can remember overhearing them talking bad about me when they didn't think I was listening in the other room. Not good and it destroys your self confidence.

It says more bad things about them then it does about you. They must have there own problems. Looking back now I can see my parents were not happy with their own lives and going through there own problems
IMO when people talk bad about others they generally do it to feel better about themselves and the fact that people like to gossip and point out things in others they don't like not necessarily because they have problems.
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-16-2020, 01:08 AM
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My mom does all the time and she enjoys it. Recently found out my dad does time to time. To be fair in my dad's case, maybe I do deserve it since it's a bit hard not to, when there aren't much non-negative things to talk about me.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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