Most people I know are older than me, hopefully I still have some people to interact with when the time comes. Most of life is filled with the less ideal, or at the least mediocrity. There must be something freeing about being that close to death. Sort of like being 10 pieces down in a game of chess. You know you're gonna lose, so you can move whichever piece you want however you want. You can even pick one up and throw it off the table, it's not gonna change the outcome. Freeing in the sense that your fate becomes less abstract. If someone walks up to you and tells you that you're gonna die in 10 days, well to hell with the rent! I'm doing something I actually wanna do.
I used to have an idealization of the "premature death" mostly from reading Mishima. There is this story in The Decay of the Angel (I believe) about a rat and a cat. The cat tells the rat that he's going to eat him, and the rat, out of rebellion, jumps into a pond of muddy water and drowns himself. The cat walks up to the rat and pokes him a few times, now disinterested in eating this dead rat covered in filth, the rat thereby transcending the identity of a rat: this thing that gets eaten by cats. I thought this was a beautiful rebellion against being, Mishima himself concluding his life like the rat.