Do you take offense to cashiers or sandwich artists not greeting you properly? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 08:12 AM Thread Starter
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Do you take offense to cashiers or sandwich artists not greeting you properly?


Why do some cashiers and sandwich artists greet others properly like "hi, how are you" and with me it's "hi, do you need a bag", "hi", or not even that. This offends me especially when they do it to someone right before or after I get serviced. Occasionally I would do the initial greeting, and it's always a "hi, how are you".

What are your thoughts on this? Would this sort of discrimination be disciplined by the managers?
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post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 09:38 AM
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No it's pretty normal here for cashiers to not engage in small talk or to not say much and friendliness sometimes makes me uncomfortable.
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post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 10:20 AM
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No I'm fine with silent & moody in fact I prefer it to fake nice.






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post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 10:46 AM
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I'd pay extra for the guarantee of non-chatty service like that.

Sounds like they're picking up on signals that you look socially uncomfortable and they're going out of their way to be nice by not imposing on you. If you don't want that, you have to figure out how to stop sending the signals.

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post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 11:32 AM
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I'd say it's more than likely you're reading too much into the situation. It's understandable - I used to do it too when my anxiety was much worse.

They're probably just having a bad day, or a bad few minutes. You never know what they've had to deal with immediately prior to serving you.

I used to work in libraries a long time ago - you could have a perfectly decent person standing there in front of you right after dealing with someone that was rude.

My advice would be don't take it so personally.
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post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 02:09 PM
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No. I donít really consider it that anyway. Sometimes they are chatty other times not. Tbh I rather not be talked to most of the time.
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post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 02:45 PM
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As long as they're not being rude, I don't mind too much. I appreciate the "good manners" though.
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post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 02:59 PM
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Maybe they're just trying to change up their greeting every now and then
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post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 03:11 PM
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I imagine people who deal with customers face-to-face all day long 5 days a week can probably pick up on body language, subconsciously, better than others. Most people with anxiety tend to give off nonverbal cues that tells others to leave them alone.

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post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 04:35 PM
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What's a sandwich artist?

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post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 04:37 PM
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What is a "sandwich artist"? Is that some sort of newfangled PC term for a burger flipper?
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post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karsten View Post
What's a sandwich artist?
I'm not sure but it's making me a bit hungry.

I actually love talking to those customer service people - they're lucky if they get out of there alive when I'm manic. It's like a captive audience.
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post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 05:00 PM
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tbh I personally prefer it when they are slightly rude and don't talk to me small talk makes me wanna run out of the store

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post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 05:02 PM
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no. sometimes i think thank god that person didn't talk to me

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post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 05:25 PM
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No, I don't take offense at all. I spent years as a cashier and I promise the pleasantries are almost always fake anyway. Serving hundreds of customers, one after the other, all day long is hard. Cashiers are human beings, not robots. As long as I got what I paid for, I'm satisfied. Complaining to management that you didn't receive a satisfactory hello isn't cool.
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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 06:48 PM
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I'd prefer it to be like a restaurant we went to in Japan. You order at a computer and don't have to talk to anyone at all. I get huge amounts of anxiety going to pay for things and potentially having to talk.
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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 07:01 PM
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No idgas but what annoys me is now around here they charge for bags. I get that yah we can't use plastic bags anymore but why do they charge you 5 cents for a bag? Then half the time they don't ask if you want one and you've already paid so can't add the 5 cents to your card and I never have any actual cash on me. So I end up carrying all my crap out in to my car in my arms like a darn fool.

As a side, when I was in high school and a little bit in college I was a cashier. Man, I wish I could be a cashier again. Was so easy. You only had to perform like a single function and you didn't have to think to do it. And there was no stress. I miss being a cashier : (

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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 08:20 PM
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Actually, the opposite. -- I prefer there not to be a conversation and have panic attacks fearing they will want to make small talk. Which often makes me avoid going to the store However I always make sure I thank them for their services they provided (at a underpaid amount) so that they know they are valued.

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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by firelight View Post
I'd prefer it to be like a restaurant we went to in Japan. You order at a computer and don't have to talk to anyone at all. I get huge amounts of anxiety going to pay for things and potentially having to talk.

Reminds me of this:



John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 09:17 PM
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Like most people who struggle with SA,I prefer when people leave me alone. They don't even have to smile and/or make eye contact.
As long as they are not being flat out rude like insulting you or something then (like others have said) complaining to management isn't right. Who knows,they are probably struggling with anxiety issues themselves.
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