do you not have friends because of social anxiety? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 09:37 PM
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I only have social anxiety at work, other than that im fine. So i only dont have friend at work place.
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post #22 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 09:53 PM
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The friends (4) I have are from the time I used to work. It's hard for me to make friends because of my social anxiety.

Fall seven times, get up eight.
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post #23 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-11-2020, 03:48 AM
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I'd be careful with blaming too many things on social anxiety, because a lot of the reasons why people don't have friends/relationships are based on their personalities or their behavior. If your anxiety disappears on its own, you may find that you still are not good at engaging in conversation, recognising signs of interest, interacting, etc. Obviously a small part of that is due to a lack of experience, but it's good to have realistic expectations about what you'll be able to accomplish if you get rid of your SA. Being an interesting person to hang out with is a lot more work than you may think, and even without anxiety you may find that a large portion of people you like will still find you dull or uninteresting, regardless of how big of an effort you make. Or you may have permanent personality traits that make it hard for people to stick around.

I used to blame a lot of my problems on my appearance, so I improved it radically over a year. When I saw that it didn't help at all socially, I was devastated. I don't regret doing all that work, of course.
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post #24 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-13-2020, 08:31 PM
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no, i dont have any because I dropped them all. I could have had a large group but I dont care about having friends if they are s h i t t y. Id rather stand on my own than be around those that really dont rock with me like that. Im about quality now. Past months i havent been making any effort to make some.Been busy just staying on my purpose and goals. I think it would be tough if I wasnt so ambitious or felt loneliness. And also since this covid thing, it kinda gives people an excuse to be antisocial.

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post #25 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-13-2020, 11:33 PM
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I had friends at one point but I never put much effort into the friendships and they just drifted away. I was always the odd duck. In early adulthood, many were dating and going out and having fun but I was caught in a seemingly perpetual state of college studies. I would try one thing and then it would go wrong and I'd switch schools and locations and start over all anew. I would try to visit and keep it up, but that withers eventually. When I finally got a job, I left town for a number of years and made a few job friends at the new place but the downturn in the economy after 2001 caused me to lose my job and eventually leave that place and come back to my hometown.
Here in my hometown, I didn't really try to pick back up on old friendships, and now it seems just too late and desperate. Besides some of them are dead now. My interests do not mesh well with most people's. I don't follow sports so 95% of men are off the list of potential friends. Oddly, I feel more comfortable with women for this reason, but having old women friends is just odd. I see ladies in my neighborhood and try to act personable. I can usually pass for a 'normal' person for a few minutes...make small talk and the like, but then it gets awkward and if I'm lucky, I've excused myself before that happens. I feel embarassed when I inevitably say something stupid, stuff just comes out of my mouth. Not crazy or insulting things, just things that people might find odd, or are odd to me in retrospect.
Maybe I don't want friendship anyway. I like being with myself and doing things without sacrificing that for someone else. Maybe I just want to talk over old times with old friends. I guess the die is cast. Can't do much about it now.
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post #26 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-14-2020, 01:36 AM
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Sure, SA's one problem but here's a big scary red flag for ya', my personality fits a bit too well with a few personality disorders, so the problem is possibly a lot deeper. I'm not listing traits, I'd regret that enormously but yeah, there's a real chance I'm seriously messed up and just unfit. I don't feel like someone who's significantly mentally ill atm but that's just because I'm doing somewhat OK. When it flares up, it sets everything on ****ing fire. It has, way too many times.

I don't know how bad I am when it comes to talking to people these days for sure, even superficial talk, because I don't have activities or places to go try and socialize in real life. Tried a group thingie a while back but didn't get any sort of meaningful connection out of it. And it depressed me, to be honest. With short interactions (couple phrases, couple phrases back, a final bit, bye, that kind of interaction) with random strangers, it moves where my mood/self-confidence goes. Also, some demographics are easier, some are harder, others seem impossible.

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post #27 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-14-2020, 05:46 AM
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Don't have none of those, no sir.

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post #28 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-18-2020, 12:00 PM
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Yeah, I would say my sister is my only friend. I find it hard to trust people outside my family.
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