do you not have friends because of social anxiety? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-21-2020, 05:58 PM Thread Starter
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do you not have friends because of social anxiety?

i feel so alone i don't have friends and i blame my social anxiety.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-21-2020, 07:38 PM
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It's mainly due to the way I look more so than my anxiety.
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 09:14 AM
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yes, partly. more reasons include other mental disorders, my appearance, no social skills, odd demeanor...really, the list goes on. :\

see, i'm real...if you want me to be.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Peaceislove View Post
i feel so alone i don't have friends and i blame my social anxiety.
I dont have any close friends either. A few acquaintances but not close friends.

The SA is a big problem in making friends. You appear nervous and it makes people uncomfortable. Have to learn some conversation skills and to be able to relax. Not easy for someone with SA. Im a lot better then i use to be but still need a lot of work

Meetup groups are a great way to meet people with similar interests. Find one in your area with something that interests you
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 09:49 AM
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Moreso interpersonal trauma than social anxiety. My ability to trust and be vulnerable is pretty ****ed, getting better, but still pretty bad. I end up performing 'closeness' rather than actually feeling it. Still very difficult being emotionally present with others without immediate internal shut down. That's why I always add a caveat when I talk about friends. Cause I mostly feel immense dread with others no matter what I show on the outside.

Good for you mistrust schema! ****ing up **** like the boss you are!
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 09:58 AM
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Yes, but also I've never felt the need to have friends and I think a friendship might take more to maintain than I'd be willing to put into it. Even online I tend to push people away without even trying.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 03:18 PM
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I've been alone for long stretches of time before. I dont think I ever got used to it really, but I can deal. value of family interactions has also been approaching zero for a long time.

but i have a good friend now. it feels good. security. this is the first non gf/ex that I actually trusted and can say they are a close friend. they also make me feel useful because I can help them etc. I always thought a gf was the only way I could be close to anyone. it's really surprisingly good.

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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-22-2020, 03:24 PM
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I used to have very few friends at school and university. Now, I don't have any, and hadn't had any for many years.

I have two online friends, but it's somewhat superficial.

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-23-2020, 08:34 AM
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I don't have friends mostly because I'm trans. Fear of violence has made me afraid to leave the house. And even if I wasn't afraid, people wouldn't want to have anything to do with me because they'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with me. I'm basically a social leper.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 02:24 AM
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i have zero friends but i do know a good place to look for them......mental health clubs are great for meeting likeminded people who are mental healtgh clubs you can aprticipate in activities sucha s creative writing art yoga group therapy or personal development or else you can go for none of these.....look in to it , ask your mental health team about it or else just google it.....having social anxiety would qualify you fro membership and if not just say you have depression as well
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-30-2020, 06:06 PM
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me too
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-01-2020, 12:53 AM
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Why don't you join some groups
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-04-2020, 03:07 PM
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Anxiety and awkwardness won't get me any friend for sure
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 06:40 PM
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Never had any cause nobody ever wanted me as their friend. Even if some kids spent some amount of time with me, tricking me into thinking they liked me, when it came down to who they were really friends with, they choose others over me to show me how worthless I am to them. As a result I could never grow any confidence. I feel like the most worthless, contemptible piece of **** on earth. I haven't spoken to a person around my age in a decade now. I've been living in my own little bubble and it's still better than getting rejected and being looked down at but I feel extremely left out.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-05-2020, 09:10 PM
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Never had any real friends
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 08:01 AM
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Maybe. But also I haven't met anyone who I'd like to be friends with. Well maybe a couple people. But making friends involves effort. Making plans, hanging out. Lately I am the biggest flake. I'm so busy and stressed with work that when I have time off I want to to NOTHING. Just stay home and relax. I don't know if I could hang out with someone and feel relaxed so I'd rather be alone. So yeah, no friend for me right now. Although I love the idea but it would have to be with a specific type of person. And I haven't found that person yet.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 10:41 AM
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Just have work acquaintances. I don't hang out with them outside of work. The past 6 months I have been working from home due to COVID so I don't see them now. Just talk on the phone with them but just work stuff, no socializing. I have pretty much been a loner all my life. I only hung out with one person back home but lost tracked of him when I moved to another state.

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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 05:06 PM
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I have almost no friends. I used to have a fairly active social life. But I couldn't keep up with everyone else and slowly but surely we drifted apart. Really I'm the one who did the drifting. And then one day you're all alone. Oh well. Doesn't bother me too much, really. Was kind of too hard trying to keep up with them all the time anyway.

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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Peaceislove View Post
i feel so alone i don't have friends and i blame my social anxiety.

That's tough, it really is. I'm sorry that SA is holding you back from having friends and you are feeling lonely.

Live and let live
"Whoever fights monsters should
see to it that in the process he does not become a
monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you."

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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2020, 07:44 PM
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I have a few friends, but they are either hundreds of miles away or dont feel like hanging out. It's quite frustrating.
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