Do you feel really bad when someone tries to be your friend but you don't? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 01:45 AM Thread Starter
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Do you feel really bad when someone tries to be your friend but you don't?

I am going through a really weird period in my life and also have been working around 50-60 hours a week although this wed is the last day at the job. Anyway trying to figure out life and what not has left me with very little time. I am also kind of a loner. So when people I am acquainted with want to get to know me better or hang out I usually blow them off. I never realized how callous I come off as until someone mentioned it to me today. Now thinking back I feel like the world's biggest jerk. The worst part is I never even knew I was being so cold. Ugh. How do I deal with situations like this without looking like a prick?
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 01:50 AM
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If someone is trying to hang out with me I will let them, as it is an oppurtunity to gain a friend. I have more trouble with trying to get to know people who don't want to hang out with me.

"I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 01:52 AM Thread Starter
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I just have too much going on right now to make new friends. Not to mention I am a loner and slightly depressed right now. Probably not a good time to engage with new people.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 06:47 AM
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Maybe just explain your situation to them. I try to make friends but get blown off sometimes and it would be good to get an explanation.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 07:44 AM
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Kind of, though that doesn't happen to me anymore the way it used to.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 08:11 AM
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I know how you feel - we had this intern in the office, she was all alone in a foreign city/country and everytime she wanted to hang out with me, I'd blow her off. A couple of times I did go to lunch with her, but I was too nervous to really enjoy her company. She was a really nice person, someone I could become friends with - but I was too nervous, too tired, too anxious to be for her.

I feel very bad because I know she felt very lonely and was desperately trying to be friends with me. No one ever really wants to be my friend, and the one person who does, gets ignored by me. I hate SA!
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 08:18 AM
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God im soo feeling this man. Recently, ive had my old good friends, my really good friends try contacting me and i just igonored the phone calls till they stoped coming. They are all home from college now and wanna hang out i guess but im not going to i know it. My old girlfriend texted my recently saying im sorry if ive caused any hurt or pain upon you, she dumped me for some jerk, thats acually when i started feeling depressed and anxious. So she still trys to talk to me but yet again i ignore. My idiot sister basicly told everyone in town that i havnt left my bedroom since i graduated highschool and that ive tryed killing myself. Now i get all this sympathy from old friends wanting to hang out with me and thats the main reason i dont wanna talk to them. Thats why that girl asked if she hurt me i guess, my sister must have blabbed to her about what im dealing with. Im such a loser though, i graduated in 2009 and i still ahvnt done literally anything since then, I jsut stay in my room

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 02:35 PM
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People are always trying to be my friend but I always push them away. Sometimes I have to be really mean and I feel bad for that. I try to tell people nicely that they would be better off not being my friend but some people don't listen.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-31-2011, 06:38 PM
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That hasn't happened since elementary school. Nowadays, it's me desperately searching for someone who actually wants to spend time with me, usually to no avail.
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