Do you ever think seriously about moving out? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-28-2009, 11:36 PM Thread Starter
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 12:36 AM
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Well I moved out at 18 like most people and went off to college...but I came back 4-5 months later. And I haven't left home since.

My anxiety/SA got out of control in college espec. in the dorms. It got so bad in the end that I locked myself in my dorm room for literally a whole week and did not eat anything and just slept since I was so depressed. Probably the worst time in my whole life, I thought I was going to harm myself at some point. But I came back eventually, haven't left home since. Going to a community college and working every summer but still haven't made much progress in life. I'll probably graduate college by 25 at the very least, way behind everyone else my age who are Juniors now.

But I'd love to move out...but after that past experience I don't know how I'd handle it. I don't think there would be any way I'd afford it either. I still feel like a child. And I pretty much am since I'm living under a roof and being paid for.

But I know at some point I'm going to have to take the kiddie gloves off and be a man. I couldn't think of a more embarrassing situation, living with my mother past 25 or so.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 12:41 AM
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Well I moved out at 18 like most people and went off to college...but I came back 4-5 months later. And I haven't left home since.

My anxiety/SA got out of control in college espec. in the dorms. It got so bad in the end that I locked myself in my dorm room for literally a whole week and did not eat anything and just slept since I was so depressed. Probably the worst time in my whole life, I thought I was going to harm myself at some point. But I came back eventually, haven't left home since. Going to a community college and working every summer but still haven't made much progress in life. I'll probably graduate college by 25 at the very least, way behind everyone else my age who are Juniors now.

But I'd love to move out...but after that past experience I don't know how I'd handle it. I don't think there would be any way I'd afford it either. I still feel like a child. And I pretty much am since I'm living under a roof and being paid for.
I used to feel that way too, like a child, but you need to switch your attitude into a "can do" attitude. right now it's a defeatist one. i know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. I am sure you're a smart person. i know morons who have apartments. when i think of it that way it's easy. i am going to move out next summer. right now i'm saving money...
i can't wait...
i hate it here. my father is so abusive. everyday he has a new drama.
good luck you guys
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 12:19 PM
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The idea of being independent is appealing but my family are pretty much the only real continuous human contact I have...
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 05:05 PM
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I would love to move out. But with my pay I would have to live in the dumpiest apartment in the worst part of town. No thanks. Also, my family is pretty much my only social interaction outside of work. I would become horribly depressed pretty quickly on my own.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 06:37 PM
 
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I moved out a couple of years ago to go to school in another state. I live in an apartment off campus with my pets. My family was great and didn't mind my living with them, but I need to get out on my own to grow.

Living alone has done a lot to improve my life skills and has made me a stronger person. The downside is that I am very isolated. Basically my only human contact is talking to my family on the phone. I do not regret my decision despite this, and I don't plan to move back in with them. I think when you do move out you will feel very liberated. Overall it has been a positive experience for me.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 08:36 PM
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The idea of being independent is appealing but my family are pretty much the only real continuous human contact I have...
Yup...... If I wsa to move out I think I would really be cut off from humans. Other than work that is.

"I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:13 PM
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I'd like to move out because at age 28 I'm much too old to still be living here. But I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm jobless and even if I do find a new job, it probably won't pay enough to afford even the crappiest of apartments. FML
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:37 PM
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I moved out 2 years ago due to living in a negative environment and wanting to have freedom. It was the best thing I did for myself. The only thing is I should have gotten a roommate instead of living alone, because sometimes living alone sucks.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:40 PM
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Moving out would probably help my depression but not so much the anxiety. I dont think I want to live alone forever so Im lucky i live with my grandfather who supports me emotionally and financially.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and than success is sure," Mark Twain

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:46 PM
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Im moving out on the 20th, the only reason my bf and I have been living with my father is because my dad was working in canada for a year and wanted us to watch the house for him. And ever since he got back he's been trying to kick us out - leaving nasty notes - not to mention he comes home drunk every weekend (always been that way), bringing home his creepy friends, putting me down, it wouldnt be so bad except we pay rent, we buy him groceries and he acts like we dont do anything for him - its kind of funny ever since the lady at the apartment complex called us back and said we got into an apartment he's kept trying to get us to say - not gonna happen.
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 10-30-2009, 01:01 AM
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Do I ever seriously think about moving out?

No, not really. My mother divorced my elderly father and practically took him to the cleaners. He doesn't have much of a retirement and he had to take out a loan to keep the house that he had paid off for thirty years. With my father's retirement shot and his working years coming to an end, I'll likeley be needing to step up and either pay for part of the mortgage or all of it in the next couple of years.

So if I was to "move out", I'd basically be throwing away my father's house, which he paid off for thirty years and planned to pass on to his children. Not only that, but I'll probably be needing to subsidize my father in the coming years. So if I have a choice to spend a $1000 a month on a land lord, or to help my father retire and pay his mortgage, I'm going to help my father. In my particular circumstance, moving out would be a luxury, not a testament to hard work. I would simply be running away from my financial duties to my father.

I don't agree with moving out in general, but if I was going to do it, I'd do it practically. I wouldn't just do it because of peer pressure. I'd do it once I have a year's rent already saved up, once I had enough income to support my percentage of rent and once I was able to afford everything else that would go with living independently.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 12:05 AM
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 07:16 AM
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That has been an ongoing issue for the last 3 years. This area not having much decent places to rent and me being kind of sick of this place where I am living right now...
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 01:27 PM
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I got kicked out when I was 18. I have a home at the moment, but I'll probably be homeless in the not-too-distant future. Not a day goes by that I don't think about being homeless.

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 02:13 PM
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every day. but when i look for other places to live i just imagine what problems i might have there also. i wish i could live on my own.

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ― Mother Teresa
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 03:01 PM
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I feel terrible about it but yes, sometimes I do think about moving out. Maybe then I could actually live my own life instead of dedicating everything to my parents every day.

Especially now that my dad's health is declining I think a lot about moving out after he's gone... even though I know I could never do that to my mom. But living alone with my mom is going to be a real challenge. I love her dearly but she's not the easiest person to live with; in fact she's a fairly toxic person. Without my dad there to take the brunt of her criticisms and neuroticism, I think my life is going to get a lot worse. But I can't just leave my mom alone so I guess I don't really have a choice when it comes down to it.

Actually I envy people who can just choose to move out and live their own lives. I kind of wish I had that choice.

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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 04:32 PM
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My dad died in 2014 and due to issues from the lack of a will I lost the house and had no choice but to move out. It was tough at first.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-02-2020, 06:01 PM
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I have my own apt but if I get laid off (which is a distinct possibility) and can't find another job then prob gotta either try to find some roommates or go live with my folks. Either would suck.

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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 12-04-2020, 06:12 PM
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Sometimes but I canít afford it, and have no social life so Iíd be miserable anyway. At least here I get access to quality food (my mom cooks) and some type of social contact so Iím not completely isolated.
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