do you ever just get really really lonely? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-02-2007, 02:50 PM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I wasn't talking about you silly, I was talking about the person who quoted you...but I'm a perv too. It's all good.
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post #42 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-02-2007, 04:25 PM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I realized that when Iwas in my car driving downtown and I was HOPING I'd get to edit it b4 yousaw it. I'm such a goof. Honestly I'm not sure if I'm a perv, i'm probably a closet perv.

But Andrew White is DEFINITELY a perv!

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post #43 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-02-2007, 04:32 PM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


YEAH!
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post #44 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-02-2007, 09:56 PM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Do I get lonely? Yep. It wasn't bad at first. Then 6 weeks in college it's starting to effect my school work.
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post #45 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 06:18 AM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


In college, I faced a lot more loneliness than I do now. I actually used my school work to distract myself from my problems though. I was extremely good at this, as I could shut out everything and get lost in my studies.

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He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #46 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 09:26 AM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Quote:
Originally Posted by ardrum
In college, I faced a lot more loneliness than I do now. I actually used my school work to distract myself from my problems though. I was extremely good at this, as I could shut out everything and get lost in my studies.
Ha, ANY work is a good distraction. Loneliness hits me the hardest when I've got nothing to do, and am bored. But when I'm knocking out freight at work, wrenching on my cars, or tinkering with various electronics, I haven't a care in the world, except for whatever it is I'm working on. No, you can never have too many hobbies. lol
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post #47 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 10:11 AM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Yeah, hobbies are fantastic. They really help make it easy to live in the present and not get lost in troublesome thoughts.

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #48 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 10:12 AM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Yeah, that's what sleeping is for.
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post #49 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 11:20 AM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Unless you have recurring dreams of a past you can barely remember, nor want to remember, in waking reality. Hobbies are much better because they do, or should, really tax your mind and get your head out of the past and into the present. The only problem is that in the end this is really just another form of avoidance.
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post #50 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 04:23 PM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Scattered
Unless you have recurring dreams of a past you can barely remember, nor want to remember, in waking reality. Hobbies are much better because they do, or should, really tax your mind and get your head out of the past and into the present. The only problem is that in the end this is really just another form of avoidance.
Yeah, it seems pretty common for people to take part in activities in hopes of blocking out something troubling in their lives. This is what I would occasionally do in college to avoid becoming lost in negative rumination.

Of course, it's interesting to think that to take any action is to avoid taking some other action. There is always opportunity cost, or avoidance of alternative options. Eating is practicing avoidance of hunger, for instance.

I guess we should determine whether what we're avoiding should be avoided, taking into account our best interests. If what we're avoiding is immediately painful in some way, it can make sense for someone to avoid it. Then again, often times the avoidance itself only offers a short reprieve from suffering (like SAers who avoid all people to avoid short-term anxiety, only to feel more alienated, depressed, and lonely as a longer term result).

Moderation is something to consider when enjoying one's hobbies.

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He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #51 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-03-2007, 05:49 PM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Extremely lonely. I'd kill to be able to connect with someone. My own fault though. I live in self-imposed social exile.

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post #52 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-04-2007, 03:45 AM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Yes, even when I have spoken with people during the day. I think I need a girlfriend. I think my loneliness stems from lack of that which I desire most at this point in my life: love.
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post #53 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 01:13 AM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I usually don't feel lonely during the day, but at night when I'm just sitting alone on my computer like I am now I do get very lonely. I start thinking about how I only have 2 friends that I talk to regularly, and wish that I could actually go out and have a good time with a group of people. But the big problem is when I start thinking about girls. I've never had a real girlfriend, just a few friends with benefits with no emotional attachments which is not something I really want. I feel that I have alot to offer someone, and want to have someone there for me. It makes me feel trapped, being almost 22 and still so afraid of talking to someone I like.
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post #54 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 05:08 AM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I've been very lonely lately and its fueling my depression.
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post #55 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 06:30 AM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


You need to spend some more time on SAS, Lonelyguy.

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You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.
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post #56 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 07:06 AM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Not in the sense that I wish I had friends or that I'd like to be more social. But I do feel lonely in that I have no one I can truly talk to about my problems. I don't have any friends whatsoever, and I'm not comfortable discussing any of this stuff with my family, so there's really no one. I just have myself and online discussion boards, and the latter I'm not entirely comfortable with divulging the majority of my problems. It can be very overwhelming, especially considering that I'm not a very capable person and doing this all on my own is something that deep down I know may not be possible.
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post #57 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 12:54 PM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I'm feeling very lonely at the moment.
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post #58 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 01:10 PM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


I cried after I ran today. I just can't stop thinking of how good I felt a mere month or so ago when I spent time with someone I liked and laughed with. Moving on is necessary and i'm doing it, but when needed, I'm giving myself permission to cry it out.

I was thinking today is the first saturday of the month. The Short North gallery hop is tonight. If I had a gf/wife I'd make reservations at a nice/funky/trendy restaurant, do something romantic like have flowers for her, walk around and look at some art and enjoy the street musicians and performers, and then maybe a movie, and then a nightcap at home. And of course, a romantic end to the evening. ....Oh wait...the Buckeyes are playing Purdue tonight...let's make that a Pizza, a 12 pack, and "HONEY, WOULD YOU RUB MY BACK...A COMMERCIAL IS ON".........LOL. Actually I'd rather go out on a date than watch football. I now return you to your regular programming. This has been a daydream presented to you by Fairleighcalm.

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post #59 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 05:22 PM
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Do you live around the Short North, FairleighCalm? My old OU roommate lives there.

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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post #60 of 83 (permalink) Old 10-06-2007, 06:37 PM
 
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Re: do you ever just get really really lonely?


Like a lot of people have said, I usually enjoy solitude. I wonder, though, if I've just taught myself to enjoy solitude as a justification for avoiding anxiety. The times I do feel lonely are when I think of the things I can't do because I'm alone, even though I want to do them. Things like going camping, going out for a drink, or to a baseball game..activities I miss out on because I can't bring myself to be social. That's when I feel lonely and the depression soon follows because I tell myself that it's my own fault that my life isn't as fulfilling as I want it to be. It's a vicious cycle of social anxiety and depression.
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