Do strangers strike up conversation with you? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 07:30 AM
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Often, then they quickly turn away and start ignoring/ being passive aggressive towards me because my reaction to them didn't please their ego.
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post #22 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:16 AM
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Yeah I'd say a lot of them do. Sometimes it will be cause I'm wearing a shirt with a pop culture reference so I think wearing your interests can help you meet people. But sometimes I meet people through having to initiate conversation. Sometimes I initiate small talk but it never leads to much unless we have similar interests. I met 2 strangers at a con once but I already knew we had similar interests so it helps to go to things like that. And ask questions cause people love talking about themselves, but yes I get what you mean. At school I don't get approached hardly ever, I'm the one that has to start everything and I feel like that's not going so good for me. I'd love to be better at knowing what to say, but I'm past the point of just wanting people to talk to, I'm a bit more selective now
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post #23 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 12:48 PM
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Nope. not very often.
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post #24 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 01:25 PM
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People approach me, but I don't really engage them in conversation. It's not for lack of wanting to! I suck at making conversation which is why I never initiate it myself
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post #25 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 04:59 PM
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Not much. The few times a stranger approach me they seem to quickly regret it. I always try to be friendly but it's like they can sense that I'm uncomfortable so that probably makes them feel uncomfortable so they just walk away. Which is fine with me.
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post #26 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 06:13 PM
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No. Then again, I don't attend a job or school...or just go out and sit somewhere. Anytime I am out, there isn't anyone coming up to me to for a chat, no. I know why, but knowing doesn't help alleviate any disappointment resulting from being snubbed. :\
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post #27 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 06:40 PM
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When they need something, directions, money or those sales people in the malls...

I mean I don't mind that much but I'm more interested in the psychology behind it, like why me? There's 1928231 people around and you wait for me to walk past to ask for directions .___. do I look the most passive and non-threatening?

With the product/sales people I used to be naive and really thought they meant their compliments towards me lmao, I was such a child I used to think what people said to me they meant, I mean I knew about lying/deception but I just never thought it happened with malice/ill intent/manipulation for some reason until it kept on happening to me repeatedly.

I don't wanna exist
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post #28 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 10:09 AM
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Sometimes yeah but it's mostly customers at work. I seem to draw the talkative ones. I dont mind it, I admit after speaking to people I generally feel better and it lifts my mood but theres times my anxiety starts and Im standing there feeling like an idiot forgetting how to converse.

So come rain on my parade
'Cause I want to feel it
Come shove me over the edge
'Cause my head is in overdrive
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post #29 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 11:04 AM
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Yes, mainly old people. Friendly chatter.

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post #30 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 01:23 AM
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Generally in the North East of England people have a reputation of being friendly. The issue is it's very limited and structured and if I don't totally gel with the choreography of normality I feel like a moron.
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post #31 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-12-2019, 08:34 AM
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Originally Posted by moonbliss View Post
Iím in a transitional part of my life where over one month ago I left a job. I have not had the motivation, confidence or emotional wellness to try to find work again. I did have an opportunity to interview for one job that I applied for a few weeks ago but changed my mind and did not go because at that point it had been weeks since I had human interaction and did not want my first interaction to be in a job interview.

My question is whether it is typical for everyday people you encounter outside to never try initiate a conversation with you? Or is it just something about me? People usually meet other people through work or school, but do people ever meet friends just going about their day? The only people that interact with me are ones that ask for directions or money. I feel like I notice everyone around me but I am invisible to them unless they need something from me, or if I am in their way.

I donít hide out in my room and spend a good amount of time out in the city. Parks, libraries, coffee shops, malls, farmers markets, commercial districts... Yet months can pass and I donít meet anyone. Going to a meet-up is something Iíve considered to break the isolation but it would be too uncomfortable.

Is it up to me to approach people if I want to break the isolation?

Even though I am self conscious when interacting, I am not closed off and do try to emit a pleasant energy to people. I guess Iím just trying to confirm that thereís something different about me which people donít want to interact with and that normal people regularly meet and interact with other people all the time.
Being invisible to strangers, isn't that a good thing? I don't mind it although I don't fear interaction with strangers anymore like I used to.
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post #32 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-12-2019, 09:43 AM
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Sometimes when I walk to the shop, or go to work. I do get a 'Hello' from strangers in my new neighbourhood, where as in my previous neighbourhood they didn't say 'Hello' or anything like that - I guess it's kinda nice and weird at the same time lol.

I'm not stupid, I'm not unintelligent, I'm not slow, I'm just anxious.
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post #33 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-12-2019, 10:25 AM
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Only time that happens to me is if I'm standing in line at a store. Otherwise I don't have that happen often. Honestly this is one of the more baffling things some people do.
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post #34 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 01:02 AM
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After moving to a new place, I've had it happen more often. Most of the time it's friendly, but people here can be viciously passive aggressive and think you're trying to spite them when you're not.. It's hard to ignore sometimes.
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post #35 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 02:11 AM
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More often than I like. Especially since I frequent areas with lots of mentally unstable and ill drug addicts a lot.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #36 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 03:50 AM
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To some degree yes? I think I look approachable. But also because I tend to sit in public places for long periods of time.
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post #37 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 06:52 AM
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I think the weirdest ones were in two different cities; one person at the bus stop, other person on the stationery counter randomly asked me where I was from? I actually answered the questions and the conversations ended. They made me feel very uncomfortable.
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post #38 of 38 (permalink) Old 07-22-2019, 07:08 AM
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Old people absolutely loves me. I look kind and they think I am a good target to talk with. They don't know that under my sweet cover I have strong and very unpopular opinions .

No, I don't speak English and that is a secret of my happiness!
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