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Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Somewhere under the rule of a Twitter-loving Cheeto
I have left a string of disappointments in other ways. My parents are disappointed in me. My gfs eventually left me, largely because I turned out to be such a disappointment. People I get to know often wonder why I'm not doing better than I am. Many people seem to think that because I'm "smart" I can just solve my problems if I want to. No one has any idea how broken I really am. So it's just one disappointment after another.
I am not, however, terribly disappointed in myself. I know how hard I've worked to accomplish even as much as I have. I am disappointed that no one will ever understand or appreciate my accomplishment, however.
Yeah people think that the one side of you they see if how you are all the time. On the outside I seem like a fun, happy, and productive person but sometimes I feel like life really sucks and I just want to lay in my bed alone and think about things and pity myself. I often feel pressure because I'm "smart" as well. When I do work with a group, they often slack off, figuring that since I'm "intelligent" and "hardworking" I'll just do the work for them. And I do. And I hate it. But I can't speak up because I feel like no one would take me seriously and I don't want to be disliked, even by people I hate. I don't disappoint others because I act differently around people. I just disappoint myself because of my inability to defend myself and love myself.
You say you love your children above all else and yet you are stealing their future in front of their very eyes.
~ Greta Thunberg