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-   -   Did this ever happen to you?? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/did-this-ever-happen-to-you-2224385/)

springdream 06-11-2019 12:42 AM

Did this ever happen to you??
 
I have exactly zero friends and was kind of fine with it before since I was staying (see: hiding) at home the whole time but something weird happened recently and I have no idea how to interpret it since it never happened before, a complete stranger was waiting next to me for class to start and we had small talk and then she was like 'you know, you need to open up more, I never see you with other people, do you not have friends??' I was SO embarrassed because I really didn't then I did an awkward laugh and told her that I did in fact have many friends but I was shy, I ended up not attending any of my classes that day and I'm still shook from this interaction...
Did this ever happen to you? and do you have any ideas how to hide the fact that you don't have any friends until you make some??

BeautyandRage 06-11-2019 04:14 AM

I don’t hide it. I’m pretty open about the fact I have no irl friends because of my social anxiety. With the first part of her comment it sounds almost as if she wasn’t trying to be rude, but it came out kind of offensive. Maybe she wants to be your friend? A way to hide the fact you don’t have any friends is just to say, “yeah, I just don’t have any at this school.” Or if someone is rude about it say, “nobody at this school is interesting.” My best friend frim the 6th grade yelled at me because I was clingy and she yelled in front of the lunch room “don’t you have any other friends?!” So embarrassing, so I understand. It’s pretty freaking rude for people to ask that so bluntly.

ShotInTheDark 06-11-2019 01:38 PM

Been there, done that... I do have been doing that kind of avoiding to open up to others...

springdream 06-11-2019 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeautyandRage (Post 1093739355)
I don’t hide it. I’m pretty open about the fact I have no irl friends because of my social anxiety. With the first part of her comment it sounds almost as if she wasn’t trying to be rude, but it came out kind of offensive. Maybe she wants to be your friend? A way to hide the fact you don’t have any friends is just to say, “yeah, I just don’t have any at this school.” Or if someone is rude about it say, “nobody at this school is interesting.” My best friend frim the 6th grade yelled at me because I was clingy and she yelled in front of the lunch room “don’t you have any other friends?!” So embarrassing, so I understand. It’s pretty freaking rude for people to ask that so bluntly.

Oh my god that was so rude of her wtf??

I'm in college rn so I don't think I can do that, but she really did seem like a social butterfly (had many friends say hi to her as we talked) so I'm not really offended I'm frustrated with myself lol

springdream 06-11-2019 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShotInTheDark (Post 1093739673)
Been there, done that... I do have been doing that kind of avoiding to open up to others...

I try not to talk to anyone but that seemed kind of inevitable when she approached me, also I can't really open up for ****

conantheworthless 06-11-2019 02:21 PM

No but someone once approached me with following opening. "Do you always look so miserable?" I did the same embarrassing chuckle as you did that day.
I kinda understand why people have this impression of me. I look like I'm pissed off 24/7 but it's just me being tense for no reason, sometimes it's the opposite and I smile all the time, at those times people approach me with this "Are you laughing with me *******?" After which I get very apologetic which is also ridiculous because I was only smiling, you know...

springdream 06-11-2019 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by conantheworthless (Post 1093739711)
No but someone once approached me with following opening. "Do you always look so miserable?" I did the same embarrassing chuckle as you did that day.
I kinda understand why people have this impression of me. I look like I'm pissed off 24/7 but it's just me being tense for no reason, sometimes it's the opposite and I smile all the time, at those times people approach me with this "Are you laughing with me *******?" After which I get very apologetic which is also ridiculous because I was only smiling, you know...

Same, I ALWAYS look like I'm about to murder someone, so... I guess I'm not very approachable to begin with, I was asked that 'why are you making that face' question a lot when I was still in school so I guess it's why this one surprised me so much

melancholyscorpio 06-11-2019 05:27 PM

My cousin said you don't go out much do you.

It's embarrassing when people bring up topics that can be sensitive.

I feel embarrassed at times but learning to accept my situation. A situation that can change.

conantheworthless 06-11-2019 07:09 PM

I "love" the part when family members or friends ask me if I have a job or if I have a job in sight. They damn well know I don't!

Shy extrovert 06-11-2019 10:52 PM

No it hasn't happened to me but damn that's incredibly rude of her to say. Even if it was innocent, how did she think it would come off? Some people are shy. But the most similar experience was some girl in my class almost coming across as offended I didn't come in more often during free periods. To be fair if I had hit it off with my classmates more I'd be there more, and that ended up happening later. At the time I just said I didn't feel like driving all the way to school for work I could do at home which was partially true. My school is about 40 mins away from home, more with traffic


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