I've had some variety of anxiety most of life, with the usual combo of depression, but I think the original issue is that I'm most likely in the spectrum. I certainly see things in a rather unusual way.
Getting to the point, I'm in a rather shaky situation, never could I really finish college or find a job, I was very lucky to be born into a relatively well off family, the only reason why I'm still here, but honestly I think there are probably 12 year olds that would be more capable than I am to survive alone in the world. And sadly, this pandemic may probably mean the end of the people that I depend on economically to keep living.
To say I've been a mess for the last six months, even more so than usual, would be a great understatement. Even if life has been pretty difficult emotionally and psychologically I have no desire to die and I fear it just as much as anything else.
But if that's how it will be, then that's how it will be. The question then is, how do I at least try to cope with such devastating anxiety? I have no friends anymore or any sort of positive relationship with any family members.
Honestly I guess I'm posting this more as a way to vent, there are no magical solutions I'm somehow ignorant of, just exercise, trying to fight intrusive thoughts and trying to regulate my own emotions. But hiding in a room out of a, at least in this case, justified fear of a deadly virus is really not very conductive to mental welfare.
I just joined this forum about 10 hrs ago. I'm browsing over people's post. I'm having difficulties too. I'm a college student and I don't really feel like I have someone to hold on to. But you know what? Sometimes the best thing to break free is to do something that will make you happy and proud. You can cope up with your anxieties by doing something that you like, whether it is a talent that you'd want to enhance, a list of things you wanna do, or a movie you've always wanted to watch. I know you're way older than me but that doesn't matter. We're here for a purpose. Right now I'm doing some sort of things which would probably make me more productive and entertained. Hope to see you better,