Constantly having conversations with myself - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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Constantly having conversations with myself


All the time I'm having some sort of imaginary conversations. Sometimes about how things should have happened, sometimes anticipating a conversation that will happen. I'm repeating myself all the time. How I should have done this or that, how I regret this or that. Constantly looking for validation for why I am who I am. Ridiculing myself.

Not always negative sometimes I dream up positive things , how I am living on my own or how I'm having fun with people. I have this smile upon my face, totally drowned in my dream world. Parents commenting what are you smiling about? After those dreams in an even more dreary feeling. What am I doing here?

Also when I should be busy with something else my mind just wanders off and I start imagining conversations mostly with myself.
When someone is talking to me I can hardly maintain concentration, I wander off, often afterwards totally not knowing what the person just said

With films I see a scene and then I start imagine how I would be in that situation for sometimes up to 20 minutes so I loose track of the plot. I keep replaying the same scene or conversation in my mind with small variations.


Do you recognize this? It's driving me crazy sometimes.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 05:19 PM
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Yeah me too , I daydream a lot. Any time of the day and mostly watching a movie or playing videogames. I imagine that a have somenone besides me when I play sometimes and I imagine how that would be like, just having fun with a friend/gf and the conversations and everything. When you get out of the daydream, it sucks and feels bad. (beacause it's not real and will mostly never be)

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 05:34 PM
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Yeah its especially common after you talk to someone, your mind think's you did something wrong. You might go back over it over and over again to try and get it right for future conversations. So you're basically practicing for the next encounter. That is fine, I actually do it on purpose some times to work on debate skills for example. But the mind is a noisy chaotic thing, and will run away with all kinds of ridiculous nonsense when you don't want it to.

If you've heard mindfulness, that is the practice where you learn to separate your attention from your mind, and on to something like your breathing or sounds of rain for example. You learn that the noise of your mind isn't as important as it wants you to think. Everything seems so freaking imperative, and your focus becomes a slave to it. Remember you're not your mind, you are the one aware of your mind. So you can put your awareness anywhere, if you practice. But if you're set on autopilot, your mind will be in control all the time and drive you nuts.

You may also have some ADD as well if you can't focus. Its strange though, are these movies you really like or are you just bored? People with ADD tend to have extreme focus on things they enjoy.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 05:41 PM Thread Starter
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You may also have some ADD as well if you can't focus. Its strange though, are these movies you really like or are you just bored? People with ADD tend to have extreme focus on things they enjoy.
What's ADD ?

No there's a bunch of films I love to death, they keep me focussed, in the past most films could do that but these days I only seem to find most films pretty boring.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-24-2019, 09:47 PM
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I do this all the time too with real conversations I’ve had and also imagined conversations. Glad to hear I’m not alone in this!

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, Remember you're not your mind, you are the one aware of your mind.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 05:29 AM
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high levels of absorption/dissociation coupled with OCD tendencies I guess.

I also spend a lot of time daydreaming, sometimes in a repetitive way.

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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 06:18 AM
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this seems like maladaptive daydreaming. there's a huge thread about that on here, somewhere.

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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 12:55 PM
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What's ADD ?

No there's a bunch of films I love to death, they keep me focussed, in the past most films could do that but these days I only seem to find most films pretty boring.
ADD is attention deficit disorder. Also if you're very hyper as well, it would be categorized as ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Its not really a disorder though, in my opinion. Most people with ADD have extreme focus and are typically the best in their fields. But there are a lot of draw backs, for example, its very difficult to focus in school. I had it, I'm not sure if I still do because I really only focus on things I like to do, especially my job, so I don't know if I still have it or not. But its very common. You can ask your doctor about it, but please don't take meds for it if you don't have to. Its just a different way of thinking, and you have to learn how to manage it in the real world. But I'm sure in some cases meds are needed, so yeah talk to your doctor about it, and even look it up on youtube, I'm sure there are a million videos about it.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 03:20 PM
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Do this a lot. Interestingly I do so much more when I am stressed, and my anxiety is higher. During periods where my mental health is better this tends to die down, but its a really strong signal for me that I am starting to lose it. I end up having insanely repetitive arguments and discussions with myself, out loud, while driving and ****. I have physical tics I tend to do as well. Strongly suspect this is OCD related as it's like I get caught in a groove until I feel I can get a convincing "resolution".

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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 07-27-2019, 05:21 PM
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Ditto


I literally caught myself doing this on my drive back home yesterday.

I was replaying an awkward event from the day in my head and I was reenacting alternate outcomes. Really annoying.

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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-02-2019, 12:28 PM
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I think it's human to daydream and talk about things with yourself.


If it's beginning to affect your home life, work and/or school it may be a different thing-maybe something a little more serious.


It sounds like a mild form of aphasia to me.


You can always speak to a doctor-or a neurologist if you think it's that serious.


I would maybe make a list of bullet points of what exactly is bothering you, so you don't have to recite everything at once, and give the doctor the list.


Have you had a head injury recently? (sorry, I know that sounds rude but that's one of the ways aphasia is said to manifest)
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-02-2019, 05:49 PM
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I talk to myself all the time, and just hope it’s not aloud when someone happens upon me, lol
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
All the time I'm having some sort of imaginary conversations. Sometimes about how things should have happened, sometimes anticipating a conversation that will happen. I'm repeating myself all the time. How I should have done this or that, how I regret this or that. Constantly looking for validation for why I am who I am. Ridiculing myself.

Not always negative sometimes I dream up positive things , how I am living on my own or how I'm having fun with people. I have this smile upon my face, totally drowned in my dream world. Parents commenting what are you smiling about? After those dreams in an even more dreary feeling. What am I doing here?

Also when I should be busy with something else my mind just wanders off and I start imagining conversations mostly with myself.
When someone is talking to me I can hardly maintain concentration, I wander off, often afterwards totally not knowing what the person just said

With films I see a scene and then I start imagine how I would be in that situation for sometimes up to 20 minutes so I loose track of the plot. I keep replaying the same scene or conversation in my mind with small variations.


Do you recognize this? It's driving me crazy sometimes.
Yeah, I do this a lot too. I mean, I don't talk to myself out loud, but I ruminate over things or have mental conversations with myself. I think people with anxiety tend to ruminate over every interaction and question whether we were rude or did something wrong, or what the other person/people involved thought. I know I do.

I have those daydreams too. For me, I used to take plots or themes from TV shows, movies, the news, or things in real life and make TV series in my mind. Like I had one where I lived in a house on my street with people that were based on characters or actors/actresses in TV shows with the plots or episodes taken from other shows but modified in a way. Also certain physical things like cars or houses would be part of it too.

I think I can partly blame that on the fact that I watched too much Mister Rogers as a kid. He used to do similar things in his show.

Also, I would imagine a perfected version of myself in these "shows" where I had a great, funny personality and I was super hot and attractive. Plus my family was super popular and didn't have addiction problems. I had a sister in this show and an adopted brother. Whereas in real life I have no siblings.

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Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-06-2019, 07:34 PM
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I do this a lot, including talking with myself...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-06-2019, 08:16 PM
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daydream conversations are always pretty pleasant though. I dont do it constantly but sometimes I get a bit caught up in it. I think it's a pretty cool skill to have.

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